Even If Saving You Sends Me to Heaven

During Zane and Mara’s lunch period, I attempted to lighten the mood between me and Danny. “You seem to know a lot about this guardian angel thing. I didn’t even finish reading the book. Should I be worried?” I said.

Danny shrugged, obviously relieved by my new approach. “I’m sure I can fill you in if you want,” he offered.

“That would be great,” I admitted honestly. “So, what vital information am I missing?”

He thought for a few seconds, and then exclaimed, “Oh! This.” In a second, his jeans and tee shirt changed into a funny suit and tie outfit.

I raised my eyebrows but tried not to look too impressed. “You clean up good,” I joked. “How did you do it?”

“It’s not hard,” he told me, and in another instant he was wearing his casual clothes again. “All you have to do is picture it and want to wear it. Try.”

Not really believing him, I pictured a long blue strapless ball gown and willed myself to be wearing it. Sure enough, I felt the silky material on my skin almost before I believed it was there. I grinned, looking down at myself with pleasure.

“It works with anything,” he informed me, producing a mirror he held before me to let me see myself in the dress. “Beautiful choice,” he commented, and I rolled my eyes.

“It’s a useful skill,” I admitted. I changed my impractical dress into shorts and a tank top. “What else is there?”

Danny made the mirror disappear and smiled. “Well, we don’t need to eat, sleep, or go to the bathroom. We don’t get cold, so I guess we don’t really need clothes either. It’s just a familiar habit.”

He winked at me, and I wrinkled my nose at him. To change the subject, I added carefully, “Not to mention that all our physical setbacks disappeared when we died.”

Danny looked at my face curiously. “They did, didn’t they? When did you figure that out?”

I grimaced. “It was the very first thing I noticed. My goodness, did I know something you didn’t?” I mocked.

“Nope,” he replied smugly. “I was just wondering what ‘physical setback’ of your disappeared.”

I frowned at him. “I had a scar that I noticed was gone,” I lied smoothly. “What about you?”

Smiling at a private joke, he lifted his shirt to reveal the perfectly smooth skin on his stomach. “I used to have a big scar right there,” he said, pointing to even skin.”

I wanted to ask him what it was from, but I didn’t want him to ask me the same thing. I’d already lied too much.

Our conversation stopped like it always did when things got too personal. It didn’t start back up again until Mara was driving Zane to pick up Samantha. Mara was going to drop Zane and Samantha off to pick up Zane’s repaired car. Later that night Zane would take Mara out to a movie with a group of their friends.

I was fed up with the silence between me and Danny. I decided I would shoot questions at him, and if I was lucky I’d get some good answers. “Danny?” I started sweetly.

“Yeah?” he responded.

“You said you’ve been a guardian angel for a lot of different people. How many?” I asked hopefully.

“This is my fourth time,” he answered honestly. “Hopefully my last time.”

“How long does it usually take?” I continued. I was looking at him excitedly, hoping for as much information as I could get.

“It depends,” he said. “The first time, I was on the job for weeks. The second time was only one day, and the third was somewhere in between there. I guess there’s no set time limit or anything.”

“Hm,” I replied thoughtfully. “I… died on April 27th, but I didn’t become a guardian angel until May 6th. Where was I all that time? I don’t remember it feeling like a long time.”

Danny shrugged. “I have no idea where you were, but I bet it took so long because they had to find you the right person.”

“What do you mean?” I inquired.

“If there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that they don’t just assign you to anyone.” He chuckled. “Did you think this was just community service?”

I tilted my head to the side. “I didn’t understand what he was getting at. “Aren’t we supposed to be helping someone? Isn’t that our job?”

“That’s not even half of it, Arianna. We’re in Purgatory. Do you know what that is?”

“Not really,” I admitted.

“It’s the place between Heaven and Hell where we make up for our sins; where we learn what we did wrong and why it was wrong,” he explained. As an afterthought, he added, “Sometimes it just feels like punishment.”

“Isn’t it a punishment?” I pressed. “Isn’t this just God’s way of making us pay for what we did?”

Danny shook his head. “I don’t think it’s meant to be a punishment. I think it’s God’s way of showing us what we did wrong in a new light.”

I laughed. “Do you have to be that vague?”

He sighed in frustration and thought for a minute before he continued, “Say an arsonist sent tons of buildings up in flames and never thought twice about it. If he became a guardian angel, he might be assigned to someone who needed to be saved from a fire. He would have to be in that person’s mind. It might make him realize how he sinned.”

“So it’s like giving us a taste of our own medicine?” I suggested, trying to talk quickly. Mara had reached the repair shop, and soon she and Zane would be going their separate ways.

“Something like that,” Danny agreed just before I got out of the car with Zane and Samantha, and Mara pulled away.