Always There For You

The weeks went by repeating the same day. I slept, woke up, stared at the television for hours, and soon after John got home, went to sleep again. I felt like a zombie, I probably looked like a zombie. I just didn’t care anymore. I felt so empty. I probably would have killed myself but it would take too much effort. I only ate what John put in front of me. And even that I barely touched. I know he wanted to help but I really wasn’t giving him a chance.

I was still feeling really bad about what had happened a few weeks ago. I really shouldn’t have acted that way. Andrew and I had gotten along fine when Lyndsey was alive. I don’t know why we couldn’t just be friends. I mean we were supposed to move on eventually, right?

So I decided that, for the first time in weeks, I would actually do something productive. I would go and visit Andrew, see how he was doing. That’s sisterly, right? And he would have been my brother. So I might as well treat him like one. He probably wasn’t doing any better than I was.

But first I needed a shower. Really bad. I can’t even believe that John would want to be around me anymore. I was most likely past my welcome in his home. But, me being my selfish self, I didn’t really care. I had nowhere else to stay and he hadn’t kicked me out yet so… here I was.

After my shower, I realized that I had no idea where Andrew lived. I knew he had been living with Lyndsey but I guess Lyndsey and I hadn’t really spent much time together over the years I’d been with Derek. Oh well, I would make up for that by being kind to Andrew. So I grabbed the phonebook and looked him up. He didn’t live too far from John’s apartment. I could walk. I left John a note so he wouldn’t worry and set off towards Andrew’s apartment.

~*~

When I arrived there I started to get nervous. What if he wasn’t home? What if wasn’t in the mood for visitors? Well, when was he? I decided to just go for it anyway. I walked up the stairs and when I reached the door I knocked. The only way I would get myself to actually do it was to just do it. Otherwise I would chicken out.

I heard someone walking to the door. Then I heard Andrew’s voice from the other side. “Go away, Alyssa.”

“Andrew. We need to talk.” I didn’t especially want to but it was important right?

The door opened. “Come in if you must.” He glared at me.

I walked in. I glanced over the apartment and Andrew. He looked like he’d been doing less than me the past few weeks. “So…. how are you?”

“How do you think?”

“Well, I know how you feel.”

“No you don’t Alyssa. You will never know how I feel. I was the person closest to her. Definitely not you. And don’t ever try to say that you were.”

“Andrew… I wasn’t trying to say that.”

“Then why are you here?”

“I just thought that we could talk.”

“About Lyndsey?”

“Well… yeah I guess that’s really all we have in common.”

“Well I don’t want to talk about her. With anyone. Especially not you.” He was starting to raise his voice at this point. He was really scary. I was starting to think that this was a really bad idea. He took a step closer to me. “Get out of our house. You have no right to be here.”

“Andrew…”

“GET OUT!” He shoved me against the wall. Probably with all the force he could muster. My head hit the wall full force. Ow. My vision was starting to blur.

“GET OUT!” He slapped me across the face. Ow. I was not feeling so good at this point. But I couldn’t get up. If I could I would have been so far from here now.

Just as I was losing consciousness, and I was realizing how stupid this idea was, I heard the door slam open.