Better Sorry Than Safe

“I told you that I could handle it,” Matt said, not looking up from his menu.

“You know what, you can just shut up.” Isabelle opened her own menu, scanning through it idly. She already knew what she was going to order, this was just out of habit.

“How did you know there would be live music here tonight?” He asked.

“I look at the schedule once a month. Sometimes I come here by myself just to get away from everything and enjoy myself.”

“You know, I can’t remember you ever doing that in Huntington Beach. I don’t remember you ever having to sneak away or whatever if you needed alone time.”

“I didn’t. All I had to do was say that I needed to be left alone for a while, and that was a rare occasion. Things are different now.”

“Well obviously they are very different”

“No kidding.”

Isabelle’s mind began to drift back to the events of the day. There had been certain times when things hadn’t felt so different, when it didn’t feel like she and Matt were just two old friends. Other times it felt like it had when they had been dating and those times came with feelings she hadn’t felt in a very long time.

The first of either of those moments had happened when they visited the Shark Reef after breakfast. She had just confessed that the string ray that stopped and stared at her actually freaked her out a little bit when his hand rested on her lower back for a moment. It had seemed innocent enough but it also sent her heart racing.

The second had been at the Secret Garden. As they watched the dolphins pop their heads out of the water and talk to the spectators, Matt had asked why should hadn’t slept very well the previous night. She had explained that it was things with Chris that were keeping her up at night. There was disgust with herself and annoyance with his incessant pushing towards marriage.

When she finished explaining what was going on he had done his best to comfort her. His arms had wrapped around her and placed a gentle kiss on her forehead, whispering, “You’ll figure it out when you are ready.”

When the waitress returned to their table, Isabelle pushed her thoughts of the day out of her mind. Now wasn’t the time to relive the day. She might need it to keep her mind at ease so that she could sleep later that night.

“You okay?” Matt asked, watching as Isabelle took a sip of her drink.

“I’m fine. Just got caught up in my thoughts for a minute. Thank you for doing everything today,” She said, having the sudden urge to hug him.

“Why are you thanking me again? I had a lot of fun. It has been a long time since we’ve gotten to spend this much time together. I didn’t come out here to just sit around and talk to you, not saying that I don’t want to talk to you. I just want to actually spend some alone time with you and do things together. I’ve missed you.”

“And a week really isn’t that much time.”

“No it isn’t.”

Meanwhile, in California, Jimmy was yelling into his phone. There was something that he desperately wanted to tell Matt but he couldn’t get through. As it went to voicemail for the forth consecutive time, he began yelling into the speaker.

“You need to answer the phone right now! Zacky is going to talk to Lilly about moving down here tomorrow and I need to talk to you. This could either be bad or this could be great! I don’t have any idea which way this is going to go so just call me back!”

He hung up and placed his phone on the kitchen counter, hoping it would ring soon. This might be good news, with Lilly not in Vegas it might be easier for Matt to find the time to persuade Isabelle away from Chris. But on the other hand, having her friend and roommate move to another state might push Isabelle closer to Chris.

“Why can’t people just answer their phones?” Jimmy yelled out, throwing his arms in the air and shaking them angrily.

“I think the better question is why are you yelling at nothing?” Emily asked, walking in the kitchen with a grocery bag in her hand.

“Because Matt won’t answer his damn phone and I’m mad.”

“Maybe he doesn’t have a signal. Isn’t he in a cabin in the middle of Wyoming? We don’t always get signal in Big Bear so it might be the same there.”

“Yeah, that would make sense,” Jimmy said, holding back the urge to blurt out the truth.

Back in Vegas, Isabelle was once again drifting back to the earlier events. Her mind skipped over most of the wax museum, since it was basically uneventful. Most of their time spent there had been carefree.

The gondola ride had been much different than the wax museum. She had rested comfortably against his arm through most of the ride, his hand occasionally squeezing hers. It was the opposite of how things usually were with Chris and she hadn’t realized that she missed moments like that until the ride ended.

“You know,” she began, “I’ve never been on the gondolas outside and after dark.”

“Really? I thought that would have been something that you would have done before.”

“Its shocking isn’t it?”

“A little bit.”

Isabelle’s eyes suddenly locked on a figure a few tables away. “Shit.” She quickly looked down, placing her hand in front of her face.

“What is it?” Matt looked around, expecting to see Chris behind them.

“I’m so screwed.”

Chris was currently pacing across the living room of his apartment, growing angry with Travis. “So he said that until I stop acting like a women he doesn’t want to be around me. Well that is just peachy. I could have spent the evening with Isabelle instead of planning a poker night for us guys.”

“You know, maybe he has a point. You are blowing this way out of proportion,” Patrick said.

“I’m tired of him butting into my relationship. He doesn’t believe I’m doing the right thing and I’m fine with that. But I’m sick of him telling me what is going to happen. Wow, he is right. I sound like a female.”

“We both know that he is way too opinionated to stay out of things. Just wait until after you and Isabelle get married and you’ve got your money. Then he will back off and never say anything again. He is your friend and he doesn’t want to see you become a zombie if something bad was to happen, that’s why he is warning you what he thinks is going to happen.”

When the figure left the restaurant Isabelle thought they were safe. She and Matt went on with their dinner as if nothing had happened; both convinced that nothing had happened. It wasn’t until they walked out of the restaurant when Isabelle knew she was wrong.

“Hey Isabelle,” The voice said.

“Hey Travis.” She turned to look at him, expecting the worst.

“You mind walking with me for a little bit? I want to talk to you.”

“Yeah, no problem. I’ll see you later, Matt.”

For the first few minutes they just walked in silence. Isabelle wasn’t sure what to say, she wasn’t sure if she should defend herself or just stay silent. Travis was just thinking how he should explain his thoughts without invading too much.

“Who is your friend? I don’t think I’ve ever seen him before,” Travis finally said, not putting too much mind to it.

“He is one of Zacky’s friends. We were pretty close when I lived in Huntington Beach. When I found out that he was going to be here I thought it would be nice to catch up.” Isabelle didn’t see the point in mentioning exactly how close she and Matt had been back then. After all, Travis didn’t seem suspicious.

“I’d like to think that in some strange way the two of us are friends,” he said, pausing for her to disagree before he went on. When she didn’t say anything he went on, “so I’m not really sure who I’m going to end up benefiting through this.

“Chris has been my friend for a very long time and he is like a brother to me. But that doesn’t mean that I agree with every choice that he has ever made. And I can’t just stand by and watch him make a huge mistake without voicing my opinion about it.

“I think you are a great woman, Isabelle, but you are completely wrong for him. The two of you want two different things out of life and I can see that. But Chris, well he is completely blind to it. He refuses to accept the fact that you aren’t ready for this, that you don’t want this.

“So I’m asking you, as a friend to you and a brother to Chris, not to do it if you aren’t ready. If you are unsure about any of this then run now. Run away from him and run fast. Because if you do this when you aren’t ready or don’t want it then both of you will be miserable. So please, just listen to me.

“I know that you love him, but I don’t think it is the right way. I think you love him as a friend and nothing more. And I highly doubt that you are actually in love with him at all. So don’t do this to yourself or to him.” Travis finished his speech, stopped walking and turned to look at her.

“You see the things that he doesn’t. You know that right? You see that there is more to marriage than just love; you see how much work they are. You get it and I don’t think Chris does. I just don’t understand how you can know all of that. I don’t see how you can tell that I’m not ready. I’m still struggling with figuring all this out but you already seem to know it all,” Isabelle said.

“That is because I see the type of person you are. I always said that you went for the wrong guy.”

“I think you are right. Just please don’t tell Chris about any of this? I want it to come from me, not from you.”

“My lips,” he began as he backed away from her, “are sealed. Just don’t let things get too out of hand.”

***

Matt wasn’t sure what to think after Isabelle explained what Travis had told her. A part of him realized that it could be great, it might be the push she needed. But the other part said that it might be a disaster in the making. If this guy lied and told Chris the truth it might destroy Isabelle, or worse, make her rebel and actually go through with marrying Chris.

“So does that change anything?” He finally asked.

“No. I still know what I have to do, I just don’t know how. Things are so complicated right now. I can’t go through with it but I don’t want to hurt him.” Isabelle held her head in her hands, feeling a headache coming on already.

The problem wasn’t what Isabelle had to do; it was how she had to do it. She was fully aware that the clock was ticking. The longer she put this off, the longer she took to figure it out, and the harder it would be. The part she didn’t realize was there was no gentle way to do this; no matter how she broke it off Chris was going to get hurt, it was the inevitable.

“Do you want my opinion?” Matt asked, taking a seat beside her.

“Please.” Isabelle didn’t look up towards Matt as she answered.

“I don’t think it matters how you break up with him, as long as you do it. The last thing you want to do is dump on the wedding day. And from what you’ve told me, he is going to start pushing for a date before you know it.”

“I feel like I owe it to him to do this in the gentlest way that I can. He really is a great guy and he doesn’t deserve this.” As soon as these words left Isabelle’s mouth she regretted them. She had done worse to Matt; she had just left him without even saying goodbye.

Matt flinched internally. This made him begin to wonder what type of guy she thought he was. She was looking for a gentle way to let Chris down, but she hadn’t given so much as a goodbye to him, let alone an actual break-up.

For several minutes there was a tense silence in the room. Isabelle felt the need to say something but she wasn’t sure what to say, she couldn’t find the words to express what she meant. Matt, on the other hand, didn’t feel like saying anything else at that moment. He just wanted to avoid whatever might come next.

“Maybe you’ll figure it out tomorrow. It’s been a long day and I think we should get some sleep,” Matt finally said, several minutes later as he crawled under the covers.

For the next hour Isabelle stayed in the dark, sitting on the second bed, thinking what she was supposed to do. She hadn’t meant to hurt Matt in any way and she definitely hadn’t meant to imply that he wasn’t a great guy. But now she wasn’t sure if she could make up for her blunder.

Matt pretended to be asleep even though he was really staring at the ceiling. All he could think about was where this was really going. Was he doing the right thing? Or was he just wasting both their time. He even pondered just giving up and going home.

All of his thoughts stopped when he heard Isabelle walking across the room. For a moment he thought she was leaving, and he was torn between stopping her and letting her leave. But he relaxed again when he heard the bathroom door close.

After Isabelle changed into her pajamas she exited the bathroom, knowing what she was going to do. After setting her bag back on the floor she inhaled a deep breath. She could no longer think about anything other than making things right with Matt.

With a silent prayer that he wouldn’t have a problem with it, she sat down on his bed. Her heart was racing, her head was spinning, and her hands were shaking. She wasn’t sure if this would make things better or worse but it was the only plan she had.

It wasn’t hard to get herself under the blankets and beside Matt. He didn’t say anything nor did he move, which she hoped was a good sign. Before she even attempted to speak, she snuggled into his side and placed her head onto his chest.

Although he was shocked, and still unsure of what he was doing, Matt wrapped one of his arms around her shoulder. His thumb moving back and forth in a way that still felt familiar. This was the last thing he had expected to happen.

“I’m so sorry, Matt; I didn’t mean it the way it sounded. I wasn’t implying that you aren’t a great guy, because you are,” Isabelle said, trying her best to keep her voice steady.

“What did I do to make you leave?” He finally asked, suddenly fearing the answer he might receive.

“It wasn’t you. I left because of myself. You didn’t have anything to do with my choice. I’m just sorry I left the way that I did. I should have at least said goodbye.”

It was a vague answer, it didn’t really answer anything, and Matt wasn’t sure he could really believe it. But for that moment if felt like enough. He wasn’t sure if another opportunity like this would present itself. So instead of worrying about the past, the future, or anyone or anything else, he decided to just enjoy the moment.