Better Sorry Than Safe

Isabelle brought herself to a stop when she saw the outlines of the Hard Rock guitar in the distance. Apparently her mind had stopped actively thinking where she was going because she didn’t remember making a decision to come this far. Pausing on the sidewalk she looked around in wonder.

When she’d woken up that morning she decided to go for a run. She’d stopped actively running when she left California, now only doing to once a week and usually on a treadmill in the apartment complex’s gym. This morning was the first time she’d had a real desire, usually she only did so because she knew she needed some exercise, and the first time she’d ran outside in years.

She had planned on only running either a half mile or a full mile, then turning around and heading home. Somewhere between the apartment and here she’d stopped paying attention to how far she was running and just focused on staying out of harm’s way during her run. She’d forgotten how much running took her mind off of life’s problems and smiled in relief. For the first time in weeks she felt free and relieved when she was completely alone.

Glancing at her watch, she realized that she still had four five hours before she had to be at work. For a minute she thought about going a little bit farther, keeping her mind free that much longer, but decided against it when she realized that she’d already ran close to four miles. As she turned around to head back to the apartment she thought, I’ll probably feel this later. Its been a long time since I’ve ran this far.

Before leaving for her run, Isabelle had been plagued with memories of her conversation with Travis the previous night. The things he had said had a tremendous impact on her psyche, changing the entire situation for Isabelle.

She pushed the thoughts from her mind as she headed back to the apartment. However, once she was on the sidewalk in front of the building she could no longer ignore them. The thought had hit her like a ton of bricks before and this time was no different. Or at least it was no different until she walked into the apartment and saw a flower arrangement on the coffee table.

Maybe it is for Lilly, she thought, walking closer and looking for the card. When she spotted the envelope she cursed, seeing her name scribbled across it in familiar writing. She once again debated what to do, ultimately deciding to leave the card alone and take a shower instead.

It was well over an hour later when Isabelle realized that she could no longer avoid the card. She’d done everything that she could think of already so her options were to either open it or let it torture her the entire day. So she sat down on the sofa and ripped the envelope open.

The card was the small variety found in all flower shops with a simple floral design on the front, telling her this wasn’t going to be good. She opened the card and saw that both sides were filled with the clear, precise writing that unmistakably belonged to Chris.

First and foremost I want to say that I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done things the way that I did, especially since I didn’t even ask you what you thought let alone what you might have wanted. I honestly regret the way I did things but I don’t regret why.

I love you so much and I don’t want to risk loosing you. If you don’t want to talk to me that is fine with me, I’m in no hurry. I will be waiting here for you when you are ready to talk. No matter what anyone else says I know you love me and I know that you’ll come around to this wedding. If you didn’t then you wouldn’t have said yes.

So I will be here when you are ready to talk.

All my love, Chris.

Isabelle tossed the card on the table and reached for the phone. She now knew this couldn’t go on any longer and the first step was to call him. When there wasn’t an answer by three rings she felt a surge of excitement because she wondered if he wouldn’t answer the phone. Her hopes were dashed when he picked up on the fifth ring.

“Isabelle, I’m so glad you called!” Chris sounded enthusiastic, almost too sure that Isabelle was calling to make up with him.

“We need to talk tonight. I get off work at 10 so can I come by your place after that?” She asked, keeping her voice devoid of emotion.

“Of course! I knew you’d come around and call.”

“Chris, I didn’t say that I’m making up with you. We’ll talk when I get there tonight.”

“I’ll see you later then. I love you.”

“Goodbye, Chris.”

Once she hung up, Isabelle couldn’t help but focusing on her choice of words. At the time it had made sense because it was a way to end the conversation without emotion but now she realized it was fitting for what she was planning on doing that night.

***

That afternoon Travis found himself having lunch with Chris, once again unsure what his friend wanted to talk about. Chris looked happier than he had since the incident with Isabelle which gave Travis a sense of dread. He knew that if Isabelle had broken up with Chris they wouldn’t be having lunch in such a normal atmosphere.

“So what has you in such a good mood today?” Travis asked, taking a bite of his sushi.

“Isabelle called this morning. I told you she would, it was just a matter of a time. Flowers are always the trick to getting her to forgive me. She is going to come by tonight so we can talk.”

“Chris, she doesn’t want to talk to make up with you. Don’t you know that when a woman says we need to talk it is never good?”

“You said it yourself, Isabelle is not the normal chick. She wants to make up with me, I can feel it. I knew things were going to work out between us. Why else would she have said yes when I proposed?”

“She’s in love with someone else, Chris! I can see it when I look at her even if you can’t. You are so in love with her that you are completely blind about what is going on. Yes she cares about you, hell she loves you, but she isn’t in love with you. She is probably going to, and should, break up with you tonight and it is going to be for the best!”

“Travis, I thought you were my best friend.”

“I am! Chris, I’m trying help you but you won’t listen. So how about you just call me when you find out that I am right and you find yourself alone and devastated.” Travis tossed the money to cover his food on the table, grabbed his jacket, and left the restaurant.

Once in his car he knew where he needed to go and who he needed to see. The drive wasn’t long so he’d still have time to grab something at a drive through and make it back to work on time, given his timing was right.

When Travis reached the Hard Rock café he realized how fantastic his luck was. Isabelle was just getting out of her car when he pulled into the parking lot. She recognized his car instantly and leaned against her own car.

“What are you doing here, Travis?” She asked as he approached her.

“I just left having lunch with Chris. Please tell me you are planning on breaking up with him tonight because he doesn’t think you are,” Travis said.

Isabelle sighed, her fears confirmed. “Yes, Travis, I’m going to break up with him tonight. I’m sure things between the two of you will be back to normal by the end of the week.”

Travis grabbed her arms, being careful not to squeeze too hard, and said, “He is going to try and talk you out of when you go to dump him. I am begging you not to listen to him. This has to end and you know it.”

“I already said I’m going to break up with him and I intend to. I can’t control what he thinks or believes any more than you can. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to get to work.”

***

It was around ten ‘til eleven when Isabelle parked outside of Chris’s apartment. She’d spent the entire ride over trying to figure out exactly what she was going to say to him when she got inside the apartment. No matter how many times she’d played this over in her mind over the past few weeks she still felt unprepared.

Taking a deep breath, she got out of her car and headed towards the door. Chris seemed to be waiting near the door because it only took a few seconds after she knocked for the door to be pulled open. Unlike Isabelle, Chris was smiling.

“Aren’t you going to sit down?” Chris asked once they were inside the apartment.

“No,” Isabelle said, shaking her head. “This won’t take very long.”

Just as Chris was going to ask what was wrong he noticed Isabelle’s movements. She pulled the ring off her left finger and held it out for him. He opened his palm, still not wanting to accept what was happening. She placed the ring in his hand and bend his fingers closed around it.

“I can’t do it. I can’t, I won’t, marry you, Chris. I am so sorry to do this to you but I can’t drag this out any longer. You’ll find someone that wants all of this when the time is right. Eventually you’ll have a wife and kids, everything you want, but its not me. I’m just not that person. I just wish we would have realized this sooner. Most of all, I’m sorry for stringing this out so long.”

Isabelle kissed his cheek and turned to leave. Just as she was about to cross the threshold, Chris finally spoke. “Travis said you are in love with someone else and that is why you aren’t in love with me. Was he right, Isabelle?”

Isabelle paused for a minute, unsure how to answer his question at first. “Yes.”

“When you realize that you’ve made a mistake I’ll be here waiting for you. Whoever this person is can’t be that important to you or you’d be with him.”

For the second time that day, Isabelle simply said, “Goodbye, Chris.”