Better Sorry Than Safe

“You should really go out with us tonight Isabelle. You haven’t spent anytime will all the guys together or any of the girls. Please, just at think about it,” Zacky stood in the kitchen opposite from his sister the next morning.

She was having a cup of coffee and trying to think of a good excuse, “Its easy for you to say Zack. I’m working like 8 hours today and I’m on my feet all day. But I will think about it. If I were you though I wouldn’t get my hopes up that you’ll get a yes and do not tell the guys until I make up my mind. I don’t want to get Jimmy overly excited and then pop his bubble.”

“I won’t say anything. I cross my heart.”

“Good,” She placed the now empty coffee cup in the sink, “I’ve gotta get to work.”

She had just got into her car when her cell went off. Flipping it open she read 1 New Message from: Chris. She’d had a feeling that was who it was from before she opened the phone.

I miss you already.

Isabelle didn’t reply. Instead she rolled her eyes, closed the phone, and muttered, “Worse than a damn girl.”

Even though her brother hadn’t detected anything in her voice she was in a bad mood. It was the same bad mood that she’d been in since the night before. It was as if nothing could make her happy this week.

Since the restless feeling had showed up it hadn’t went away. A part of her thought it was just because she knew he was in town. Another part just thought that she needed a change of pace for a few days. The largest part was saying that it was because her choices had brought her to this huge crossroad.

“This is Sweet Child O’ Mine by Guns N’ Roses to help you get through the day,” The voice in her radio said.

As she came to a stop at a red light she looked at the stereo. You’ve got to be kidding me, She thought. Isabelle wasn’t the type of person who believed in signs. She believed in coincidences, they were nothing more than an odd event that may coincide with something else happening in a person’s life. When it came to signs she had a simple view; a DJ wouldn’t know to play a specific song at just the right time and the universe wasn’t working some magic just for her.

The light turned green and she pressed the gas pedal. If she could just make it to work without going insane then she’d be fine. As soon as she arrived at the café she would be too busy to think about her dilemmas. The tiny voice in her mind was practically screaming that work would only take her mind off things for so long but she ignored it.

***

“So you are saying that your genius idea was to ask Zacky to ask Isabelle to come tonight? To go out with all of us together? Am I missing something here?” Matt asked as he sat across from Jimmy.

“No I think you got it,” Jimmy answered before taking another bite of his bacon.

“With all of us? Yeah Jim that is a great plan! She’ll be talking to everyone else so much there will be no way I’ll get a word in,” Matt paused for a moment before continuing, “not to mention that Val will probably be there.”

“Negative. I know for a fact that she is going out with Lacey and Em,” Jimmy took a bite of hash browns.

“How do you know for sure?”

“I suggested it to Em.”

“So you told here that we needed another boys night?”

“See you do understand! Now eat your breakfast or I’ll eat it for you.”

Even though Matt completely trusted Jimmy he wasn’t sure about this plan. Sure this was the easiest and least conspicuous way to get them together, after all Isabelle would be agreeing to hang out with all of them, but Matt wasn’t convinced it would work. What if he couldn’t get her alone to talk? Then what happened?

His mind wondered to what might actually be worse for him. What if Isabelle didn’t show at all? Then it would just be another day that was wasted.

Everyday this was becoming more difficult for him. It was a constant battle to decide what to do; like there was one person pulling him in one direction and another in a another. Especially after having the afternoon he’d had with Valary the day before.

“Matt,” Jimmy interrupted his thoughts, “I promise you that this will work. We are going to get this all figured out one way or another. Just trust me.”

“I do trust you Jimmy,” Matt sighed and ran a hand down his face, “it is me that I don’t trust. Hell I don’t even know what I did to make her leave in the first place. What if I do what caused this all right off the bat and not even know it. Then what happens?”

“That won’t happen. You just need to have some faith in this and in my plan. I’ve thought this through completely.”

“Well I’m glad that one of us has.”

***

Compared to inside the café the parking lot was quiet. It was 8:30 now and Isabelle had just got off of work. The second that she’d clocked out the same feeling had returned. Her job was the only thing that kept her mind too busy to think about it and the second she punched out she was free and so was her mind.

She was walking to her car, enjoying the fresh evening air, when her cell phone rang. Without noticing what she was doing she sighed. Her phone was the last thing that she wanted to hear right now.

“Hello?” She had paid no attention to the ringtone.

“Hey baby. Are you off for the night yet?” Chris’s voice was extremely calm and cheerful; it always was.

“Yeah I just clocked out and I’m heading for my car. Why?”

“Well since I’m assuming that Lilly will be out with Zacky again, and since you worked all day, I was thinking that I’d take you out for dinner. Then maybe we can catch a movie afterwards if you aren’t too tired.”

“I wish that you would have called this morning Chris,” She unlocked her car, “I kind of agreed to hang out with my brother and the guys before they have to leave town.”

“Oh okay. Do you want me to come with you since we didn’t the other night?”

“No. I haven’t saw all of the guys together in five years and I just want to catch up with them. I mean I’m sure that they’d like you but now isn’t the time for all of you to meet. They were my best friends Chris and I miss them. I’m sorry.”

“Belle don’t be sorry, I understand. Just give me a call tomorrow and let me know how it went. Have fun tonight. I love you.”

“Ok. I love you too. Bye.” She her cell and sat it in one of the cup holders. Until that moment she hadn’t been planning on actually going out with the guys. She had planned on going home, cooking something to eat, taking a hot shower, and going to bed. But something had taken over when he’d asked and now she knew that was what she wanted to do.

Thankfully Zacky was at the apartment when she arrived home. “Zacky I thought about what you asked me this morning and I decided that I’ll go. What time do we leave?”

Smiling Zacky replied, “We are meeting up at 9:45 at the Hard Rock.”

“Okay. Does Lilly already know?”

“The girls want Lilly to go out with them tonight so it will just be the guys, you, and I.”

If she had known that Lilly wouldn’t be there then she might have not decided to go. Now she would be alone with all of them, including Matt. It might finally come to the point when she could no longer avoid a confrontation.

By 9:15 she was completely ready to leave. For a few minutes the siblings discussed one of them being a designated driver but then decided to take a taxi. Luckily Isabelle had the number to a cab company stored in her phone so they didn’t have to look for one.

“Why did you have that number stored?” Zacky asked as they waited.

“Well I really hate having to wait for a cab after getting smashed and it comes in handy,” She shrugged her shoulders and saw the Taxi turn the corner.

The two didn’t really talk on the way to the Hard Rock. Zacky’s mind was wandering in several different directions. Isabelle’s mind, however, was in only one place. She was worried about seeing Matt while her brother imagined how that would pan out.

The guys were waiting right inside the door for the twins. Jimmy was the first to attack Isabelle with a hug, in the process being sure to declare that she was his side kick to everyone that was nearby. Brian was the next to greet her.

“Hey Isabelle,” He pulled her into a hug. “long time no see.”

“Too long,” She hugged him back.

Johnny didn’t hug her the way Jimmy and Brian had. It was more of a one armed hug and a simple hello.

When Matt turned around Isabelle almost lost her breath. He really hadn’t changed that much since she’d last saw him. He’d definitely matured but his features were still the same. Especially his striking hazel eyes, which were now looking directly into hers. “Hi Isabelle,” His voice was even and friendly.

“Hi Matt,” Her voice was much softer and much weaker.

“Well lets get going!” Jimmy tossed one arm around Isabelle’s shoulder and the other around Matt’s.

At first she was extremely, and pleasantly, surprised at how normal things felt. It was as if she’d only been gone for five weeks as opposed to 5 years. The only thing that felt off was the non-talking between she and Matt.

It didn’t take long for the drinking to start either, which also felt strangely normal. “So how has life been?” Matt asked just as she took another drink of beer.

“Good” She nodded and moved the bottle around in her hands. “how about for you?”

“No complaints,” Matt nodded his head nervously.

“Alright well Zacky, Syn, Shortshit, and I are gonna go play some blackjack or something while the two of you catch up,” Jimmy pulled his three friends with him.

“It is a really good thing that you guys picked a bar in the center of a casino,” Isabelle laughed as she watched them go. Jimmy was hauling Zacky, Brian, and Johnny by their hands behind him.

“Yeah because if it was a club and they left it would be hell to get them back in,” Matt chuckled as the bartender returned.

“Another beer?” He glanced between the pair, who both nodded yes.

For a while both of them went silent. Isabelle didn’t speak because she didn’t know what to say or where to start. Matt didn’t speak because he wasn’t sure why she even left in the first place. So instead they just sat there drinking.

“So,” Matt finally spoke again, “I hear that you are engaged.”

“Ah so Zacky told you? Or was it the ring on my finger?” Her voice was half serious and half joking. Unfortunately this wasn’t what she wanted to talk about.

“Actually Zacky told Jimmy and he told me. I honestly hadn’t even noticed the ring,” He took a moment to glance at it, “but its nice. I just can’t believe that you are actually going to get married.”

“Yup. Trust me I can’t either,” She took another swig from her beer. “I hear that you and Val are together. How is she doing?”

“Well that be correct. We are indeed together,” This time it was Matt who took the drink, “been on and off the past few years. And she is doing pretty well. So what is this guys name? I don’t want to have to refer to him as that guy the entire night.”

“His name is Chris. And before you ask we’ve been dating for him for about a year and two months. Its really not that long so you don’t have to tell me,” She went silent again and focused on the drinking part of her night.

For a few minutes Matt didn’t say anything and did the same. When he finally spoke he meant what he said, “I honestly wasn’t going to ask. Its none of my business Isabelle. It is your life and it isn’t for me to ask questions about how long you’ve been with this guy.”

“I thought you asked his name so you wouldn’t have to refer to him as that or this guy?” Isabelle couldn’t help but laugh a little.

“Oops. What can I say? I’m bad about using people’s names. Are you happy about it? The engagement I mean?”

Isabelle sighed, took two more drinks, looked down, and finally she spoke, “I guess so. I mean yes. No, I mean, I’m not totally sure.”

“So you don’t know how you feel about it?” Matt watched as she looked up and shook her head no. “Then why’d you say yes?”

“Because I love him I guess? I’m not really sure. This just doesn’t feel like me ya know? I never wanted to marry and settle down young. I wanted to live, to see the world, to be successful and then maybe think about it.

“Yet here I am. Not even in my late twenties yet and already engaged. I’ve saw parts of California, most of Nevada, and Zion National Park and that is it. I love my job, I really do, but I doubt that anyone would classify it as successful. And there really wasn’t much thought behind it, it was just a yes or no question and I said yes.

“Now I can’t help but think what in the hell is next? Am I going to be married, pregnant, and a stay at home mother before the age of thirty?” Isabelle suddenly slapped a hand over her mouth. She hadn’t meant to actually say any of that.

“You didn’t have to stop. It is better to get it all out. If you don’t want to marry him then just tell him. If he really loves you then he’ll stick around and wait until you are ready.” Matt took another drink and thought about how he wished he would have said something much different than what he had. He was trying to figure out if there was a change in hell for the two of them but instead he was helping her with her fiancé problems.

“But I love him. I just don’t know if I love him enough for this. I’m sorry Matt. I shouldn’t be dumping all of this on you,” She finished the beer and stood up. “I think I better go. Please tell Zacky that I just can’t do this.” She placed the money for her drinks on the bar walked away.

At first Matt just nodded. He had no idea what to say or what to do. So instead of acting he let her start walking away from the bar. She had made it all the way to the steps when he finally reacted and said something, “Isabelle wait!”

She turned around to see him walking towards her, a look of uneasy on his face. She thought that this was when he would ask why she’d done what she had and took a deep breath. Instead though he just walked up to her, placed his hands on her cheeks, and pressed his lips against hers. “I think we should go somewhere else,” He whispered before kissing her again.