You Ought to Smile More

“Wakey wakey, Doll Face,” I heard someone say close to my ear. I swatted them away with my hand.

“5 more minutes,” I grumbled into the pillow my face was shoved into. Whoever was trying to wake me up wouldn’t stop. I felt fingers poking my sides that were very ticklish. I flinched multiple times before the fingers became more aggressive and tickled me a lot.

I shot out of bed and laughed trying to get away. The Joker managed to back me up to the wall with his fingers still lightly tickling me. I giggled and tried to grab his hands.

“S-Stop, seriously. I’m really ticklish,” I begged still giggling. The Joker grinned.

“I noticed.” I finally got both of his hands and held them in front of me.

“No more tickling. Did you need something from me at… 6:30 in the morning?” I asked taking time to look at the alarm clock on The Joker’s side of the bed.

“Yes, I'm hungry and I need you to cook me something. I have a long day planned. Would you mind letting go of my hands now?” he asked. I blushed lightly letting go, forgetting that I still had his hands in mine.

“What do you want to eat?” I asked, walking out of the bedroom while pulling my hair up into a messy ponytail.

“Meat.”

“Like sausage? Ham? Eggs are protein…”

“All of the above,” he chuckled. I raised an eyebrow and doubted that he even had all that food, but still went into the kitchen. All of his seven dwarfs were up, but only a few of the other men were.

“Do you even have ham?” I asked walking to the fridge.

“Yup, I made Grumpy go grocery shopping,” he said sitting down with his dwarfs at the huge table. I nodded and began making a feast that would feed all the men.

“Hey boss, we might have a problem,” Sneezy said as he typed quickly on his laptop. He turned the laptop to show the tank looking Batmobile.

“It looks like he’s heading this way. What do you want us to do?” Sneezy asked. I finished cooking and turned to face The Joker at the table. There was a part of me happy that Batman was coming, but strangely another part that didn’t want him to come.

“Hm, we’ll eat and then do plan H32,” he replied calmly while making his plate and eating. The henchmen followed his example and then were scattering all around the mansion.

“What’s plan H32?” I asked when The Joker put his dishes in the sink.

“Hide everything,” he grinned and grabbed my hand, pulling me upstairs to his room.

“Why are we staying here then? Shouldn’t we like leave or something so we’re not here when Batman is?” I asked. The Joker looked at me quickly before moving to the secret door wall thing I saw before.

“We don’t have enough time. There are tons of hidden doors and rooms in this place. We need to hide everything so Batman will think he hit a dead end. You get to hide in here,” he said pulling the wall back to reveal the safe door.

The Joker punched in a 6 digit code and pulled the door open. It was actually spacious inside. There were 3 screens alternating views. So he had cameras up in the house. There was a vent supplying fresh air and a few boxes that held granola bars and water. He was prepared for this kind of stuff.

“I’m supposed to hide in here? It may be big, but I’m claustrophobic after all,” I mumbled. The Joker rolled his eyes and pulled me inside.

“You need me, you use this phone. The number on the post it is my personal number.” He showed me a wall phone and a green post it next to it.

“What if he finds me?” I asked softly. The Joker stopped moving and faced me. He slowly stepped forward until I managed to back myself up against a wall in the small hidden room.

“I’m almost certain that he won’t.” we stared at each other for a few seconds and then it was like all my sanity flew out the window. I don’t know what came over me, but before my brain could really comprehend what I was doing, I leaned up and pressed my lips against The Joker’s.

It was only for a second because my brain took control again and I pulled away quickly. Well, I would have pulled away, but The Joker’s large hands grabbed both sides of my face and smashed our lips back together.

I threw my arms around his neck and pulled our bodies closer together. The Joker’s hands grabbed my hips and pressed them against his. I felt one of his hands lift one of my legs to wrap around his waist.

I pulled back to take a breath, but The Joker didn’t let that last long. He pulled me back into the kiss and I let his tongue invade my mouth. What is wrong with me? At the moment I could have cared less. The Joker is a great kisser.

But then reality came back to me and I remembered that Batman was on his way here.

“Joker, the Batman,” I mumbled against his lips. He let me breathe again and rested his forehead against mine. I probably have his makeup smeared all over my face.

“The bat likes to ruin everything,” he grumbled in his Joker voice. He pecked me once more before winking and shutting me in the room. A small light flickered on once the door shut.

Turning to the tvs, I watched the Joker head to what looked like a hidden passage underneath a hallway rug.

The screens changed to the cameras outside the mansion and I saw The Batman heading to the front door. He didn’t even bother knocking, he just walked in. I panicked once I couldn’t see him on the screen.

Looking around the small panic room, I saw a small hatch. I lifted it and saw a series of buttons with little tabs next to them. I clicked on the one that said living room. All the TV screens then changed to the cameras in the living room. Nice.

The Batman was tossing furniture and looking for anything. I almost wanted to run out to him, but I didn’t. I don’t know why, but I'm starting to feel more attached to The Joker. That kiss was… I can't even describe it, but it made me want to stay with him even more.

I kept watching the Batman look around. Feeling thirsty, I grabbed a water bottle and took a sip. I was actually feeling somewhat bored. That was until I had the urgent need to pee… I never went to the bathroom this morning, I went straight to cooking breakfast.

There wasn’t any other door in here to get to the bathroom and the closest one was in the room only a few feet from the panic room door. Crap, what do I do?

I eyed the wall phone and thought about calling The Joker. He would only get mad, wouldn’t he? I didn’t want to chance it, but the Batman might catch me if leave the room.

I looked to see that he was still looking in the kitchen downstairs. I could make it if I went fast enough. With the adrenaline pumping through me, I quietly opened the door and pushed the wall aside, leaving them slightly ajar so I could run back into them and shut them quickly if need be.

I looked at the screens once more to see the Batman still downstairs. I tiptoed to the bedroom door and shut it quietly before running to the bathroom connected to the bedroom.

I peed and washed my hands as fast as I could. I was tiptoeing back to the panic room when I heard footsteps in the hall. I swear my eyes grew to the size of saucers.

I ran to the panic room and shut the wall and door as fast as I could and slid down against the door. I looked up at the screens to see The Batman banging down doors to all the rooms in the hall.

I saw him come to The Joker and my room. He kicked down the door and began looking through everything. My heart was about to beat out of my chest. What happened next almost made me scream…