‹ Prequel: You Should Know
Status: Slowly active.
Letting Go
We Create Our Own Prison
“I don’t want to tour.”
They all exchange glances that I pretend not to see.
“But…Alex…” Victoria breaks the silence.
“How are we supposed to tour without you?” Gabe adds in disbelief.
“Dude…” is all Nate can say.
“You…don’t want to tour?” Ryland asks, as if he can’t fathom it. “You’re kidding, right?”
“I…can’t,” I lamely try to excuse myself.
“Dude…” Nate repeats, shaking his head at me.
It’s not possible to them.
I didn’t even know it was possible for me to feel this way.
You changed everything.
“When did you decide this? Why didn’t you say anything before?” Gabe asks, somewhat impatient and frustrated. He ignores the warning looks from our bandmates, and I pretend not to see, too. “It’s tour, Alex.”
“Yeah, well, maybe I’m getting too old for this,” I reply dully.
I don’t know why I say it.
I’ve never felt that way before.
Tour, a bus, a bunk- they’ve always been a second home to me.
I don’t know where my home is anymore.
I haven’t felt it anywhere since you.
My comment shakes them up, and I pretend not to notice.
No one says anything for a while.
“I guess…we can find…” Ryland starts.
“Someone…” Victoria finishes hesitantly.
“I have to go,” I excuse myself. I get off Gabe’s couch and head for the door.
I’m halfway down the block when Ryland catches up to me.
“Alex-” he says, catching his breath. I stare back, waiting for him to continue, but he doesn’t look like he knows what he’s going to say. “I know you’ve been in a bad place lately-”
Understatement.
“-you have to give us credit for trying. At least we’re trying.”
They’re trying, I’m not.
I can’t let go of you.
I don’t want to.
“…just think about it, okay?” he asks hopefully. “You don’t have to say for sure right away. Just sleep on it?”
“Okay,” I agree, even though I’m pretty set on my decision.
My throat feels dry.
They all exchange glances that I pretend not to see.
“But…Alex…” Victoria breaks the silence.
“How are we supposed to tour without you?” Gabe adds in disbelief.
“Dude…” is all Nate can say.
“You…don’t want to tour?” Ryland asks, as if he can’t fathom it. “You’re kidding, right?”
“I…can’t,” I lamely try to excuse myself.
“Dude…” Nate repeats, shaking his head at me.
It’s not possible to them.
I didn’t even know it was possible for me to feel this way.
You changed everything.
“When did you decide this? Why didn’t you say anything before?” Gabe asks, somewhat impatient and frustrated. He ignores the warning looks from our bandmates, and I pretend not to see, too. “It’s tour, Alex.”
“Yeah, well, maybe I’m getting too old for this,” I reply dully.
I don’t know why I say it.
I’ve never felt that way before.
Tour, a bus, a bunk- they’ve always been a second home to me.
I don’t know where my home is anymore.
I haven’t felt it anywhere since you.
My comment shakes them up, and I pretend not to notice.
No one says anything for a while.
“I guess…we can find…” Ryland starts.
“Someone…” Victoria finishes hesitantly.
“I have to go,” I excuse myself. I get off Gabe’s couch and head for the door.
I’m halfway down the block when Ryland catches up to me.
“Alex-” he says, catching his breath. I stare back, waiting for him to continue, but he doesn’t look like he knows what he’s going to say. “I know you’ve been in a bad place lately-”
Understatement.
“-you have to give us credit for trying. At least we’re trying.”
They’re trying, I’m not.
I can’t let go of you.
I don’t want to.
“…just think about it, okay?” he asks hopefully. “You don’t have to say for sure right away. Just sleep on it?”
“Okay,” I agree, even though I’m pretty set on my decision.
My throat feels dry.
♠ ♠ ♠
Thanks for being patient with the [lack of] updates. Also, I think all of you who wanted more closure between the two of them will particularly enjoy the next chapter…but that’s all I’m saying. ; )Thank you very much: JessicaMarie263, daydreamer2006, & automatic eyes.