Status: Complete
Pick Up The Phone Baby, You're Not Alone Anymore.
You're My Beautiful Rescue
If you told me in 6th grade I was going to meet a boy at a concert and he was going to change my life forever, I would have laughed in your face and told you to stop lying. But now I’d probably believe you. So now I’m in 8th grade just starting, I got a new look even shed a few pounds; I still needed to lose more. This boy though seemed to really care about me we’d talk everyday at 3:55 my time since I’d meant him. Everyday for almost 2 years now he’d be there for me. Been there when I was seriously contemplating suicide, when I was holding a razor blade in one hand; he was there. He was probably one of the only reasons that sometimes my cutting would subside for a few days… a week at best. He was my form of a happy drug but still it couldn’t fix everything it never would; but I let him go to sleep each day thinking I was getting better that I was slowly coming back to reality and that things were going to get better. I wish I hadn’t he didn’t deserve that he still doesn’t to this day.
So this is where my story takes a dramatic turn, for the worst of course because how could anything go right? None of my friends that I’d had in school had known my suicidal tendencies they didn’t know I cut. One day though I was just to burnt out to cover them with anything I walked into school in my now size 11 skinny jeans because I hadn’t been eating; I was still trying to help my little brother who by now was 8 he still didn’t understand though. I was at lunch talking with my friends messing around when somehow my best friend Kathryn saw my arms. There they were in all their glory my not so little no so secret, dirty little secret. My phone vibrated in my pocket almost immediately; there was a text from her telling me to go to the bathroom with her.
That day was the first time I’d ever cried in public. The first time anyone other then Nicolai knew that I was in trouble. A few days after that I decided I was done with everything. I told Kathryn to remember she was my best friend, the best friend a person could ever ask for. I’d already known who my most prized possessions were going to. It was decided. Until I got a call from a number I didn’t know. I picked it up and it wasn’t the words that were said it was the voice, his voice. There was a few simply sentences said from his side and I knew who it was. I knew what was about to happen. He’d left and was on a plane here. His parents didn’t mind they’d known about me, they told him to be careful and that’d the rest of his family would come in a few days, for a vacation of sorts. I was in shock to say the least. But I knew someone cared, I knew what they wrote in that journal in 7th grade was a lie all because I had Kathryn and Nicolai. I think he knew when he left though it was only a matter of time before he was coming back for my funeral.
I was in English language arts class then the guidance counselor pulled me out of class. She sat me down told me to roll up my sleeves and hand over my phone. I did as she asked pulled up my sleeves showed her the numerous cuts, I gave her my phone and there was the evidence right in front of her. The messages I’d sent to Kathryn telling her I was done, telling her goodbye. It was over I’d been caught, except once you grow up like me you learn to lie your way out of anything and everything. She told me to talk to her tell her what was bothering me; I didn’t though we sat in silence for 2 and a half hours before she finally told me to go. I had done what I could, I lied told her it was a one time thing I guess in the crappy lighting she didn’t see the scars. I was thankful picked up my bag and ran from there. I’d never felt so betrayed I thought I could trust my friends but now I saw that you truly trust no one.
So this is where my story takes a dramatic turn, for the worst of course because how could anything go right? None of my friends that I’d had in school had known my suicidal tendencies they didn’t know I cut. One day though I was just to burnt out to cover them with anything I walked into school in my now size 11 skinny jeans because I hadn’t been eating; I was still trying to help my little brother who by now was 8 he still didn’t understand though. I was at lunch talking with my friends messing around when somehow my best friend Kathryn saw my arms. There they were in all their glory my not so little no so secret, dirty little secret. My phone vibrated in my pocket almost immediately; there was a text from her telling me to go to the bathroom with her.
That day was the first time I’d ever cried in public. The first time anyone other then Nicolai knew that I was in trouble. A few days after that I decided I was done with everything. I told Kathryn to remember she was my best friend, the best friend a person could ever ask for. I’d already known who my most prized possessions were going to. It was decided. Until I got a call from a number I didn’t know. I picked it up and it wasn’t the words that were said it was the voice, his voice. There was a few simply sentences said from his side and I knew who it was. I knew what was about to happen. He’d left and was on a plane here. His parents didn’t mind they’d known about me, they told him to be careful and that’d the rest of his family would come in a few days, for a vacation of sorts. I was in shock to say the least. But I knew someone cared, I knew what they wrote in that journal in 7th grade was a lie all because I had Kathryn and Nicolai. I think he knew when he left though it was only a matter of time before he was coming back for my funeral.
I was in English language arts class then the guidance counselor pulled me out of class. She sat me down told me to roll up my sleeves and hand over my phone. I did as she asked pulled up my sleeves showed her the numerous cuts, I gave her my phone and there was the evidence right in front of her. The messages I’d sent to Kathryn telling her I was done, telling her goodbye. It was over I’d been caught, except once you grow up like me you learn to lie your way out of anything and everything. She told me to talk to her tell her what was bothering me; I didn’t though we sat in silence for 2 and a half hours before she finally told me to go. I had done what I could, I lied told her it was a one time thing I guess in the crappy lighting she didn’t see the scars. I was thankful picked up my bag and ran from there. I’d never felt so betrayed I thought I could trust my friends but now I saw that you truly trust no one.