This Is How It's Supposed to Be.

Our tradition didn’t end with just the bonfire. The morning after was always a go-out-for-breakfast morning, regardless of the time. It was the one morning that all of us slept in, recovering as best we could from the late night, and for some of us, from hangovers. We went to the same place every year, an old authentic diner, complete with sticky vinyl booths and barstools, shiny chrome counters and neon lights. All of the workers wore the same baby pink-and-blue polo or dress and when you walked in you half expected them to be gliding around on roller skates.

Caitlyn was a new addition this year, a result of a stupid promise I’d made a couple of a years ago. Ever since our first year, when Pat and Garrett and I were 12 and already super-close and she was 10 and hadn’t yet made any good friends, she’d been asking to tag along. “When you’re my age you can come with us,” I’d told her when I was fifteen. I figured she’d forget or maybe grow up to be too cool to go out to breakfast with her older sister and a bunch of boys. But I was wrong, apparently, because when I dragged myself upstairs at 10:08, she was already sitting at the breakfast bar, completely dressed and ready to go.

“Oh, Cay, thank God you’re up!” my mother sighed, laughing a little. “Caitlyn’s been up for an hour and a half already, asking if she could go wake you up.”

Her cheeks flushed red with embarrassment, both from my mother’s comments and from me ruffling her hair and laughing. “The guys probably aren’t even up yet, kiddo. But I promised you could come, so you can. What, did you think I’d forget?”

She mumbled something that sounded suspiciously like a yes, and I smacked her playfully. “Lemme go get dressed and we’ll head out.”

I knew she’d wait as patiently as possible for maybe about five minutes before mom got tired of her fidgeting, and then she’d come bounding down the stairs. Which she did, just as I was pulling shoes on.

“Relax, Caitie, I’m coming. Go bother mom for the keys or something.”

“Don’t call me that!” She yelled as she disappeared up the stairs.

But it turned out that my mother was busy and had to run errands, so with a sigh we set off walking to Garrett’s house to mooch a ride in his little yellow car. Caitlyn complained about the heat already radiating from the pavement to the point that it was almost unbearable. I didn’t mind it at all, but she did, though not long after she’d started complaining a too-familiar white van bounced to the curb with a couple of even more familiar boys hanging out the window.

“Get yo asses in here!” Halvo yelled, his body half out of the passenger window.

John appeared from behind him and smacked him upside the head. “Hey,” He yelled, “Caitie’s here. Watch it!”

Caitlyn flushed, whether it was because she was embarrassed about the nickname or not I wasn’t sure, but regardless, she didn’t correct him, and instead stepped closer to me. I rolled my eyes and led her around to the back of the van, where the very last row of seats had been removed. The doors stuck a little, but I pulled them open, pushing Caitlyn closer. “Get in, kiddo. Make yourself at home.”

She climbed over the back of the seat, tumbling down into the open space between Halvo and John. I pointed to each and said their names, and then told her she had permission to hit them if they did or said or tried anything. Halvo protested, but everyone else, including her, laughed, even though she still looked uncomfortable. Not that I blamed her, though, as she was stuck in between the two biggest idiots out of all of us, and then told that she could slap them. For someone like her, who was mostly shy unless she was around people she knew really well, I knew this was way out of her comfort zone. Without looking back at her, I walked around to the front of the van to climb into the passenger seat next to Garrett.

“She’ll be fine,” He told me, “They’re all bark and no bite.”

“Or…maybe they’ll scare her so much she’ll never want to come out with us again.”

He grinned, a full on, all-tooth smile and shook his head, reaching to turn the radio up louder.

-----
The waitress didn’t even blink an eye when we walked in, all eight of us being loud and obnoxious as we asked for our usual booth in the corner. She was the same older lady who served us every year, with her never-changing long silver hair pinned back with a pearl clip and a smile always on her face. We didn’t even know her name, but she always remembered our drink orders every year –coffee and/or orange juice for the guys and a tall chocolate milkshake for me. She recognized Caitlyn to be a new face, and promptly asked what she wanted: a large lemonade, extra sugar.

We all settled in, packing ourselves together to fit, glancing at the menu even though we didn’t need to. I was sandwiched between Garrett and Kennedy, with Caitlyn still between John and Halvo.

“You know what you want, I take it?” The old woman asked.

We did of course, because it was the same every year.

“Waffles with the fruit salad…with whipped cream and extra bacon, please.”

“Same.”

“Same.”

“Same.”

“Same.”

“Same.”

“Pancakes, with whipped cream.”

The lady nodded and disappeared, leaving us to talk (loudly) among ourselves. It was mostly about the band, how they were gaining local popularity, and, they said, if the hometown show that was coming up went well, then there was a possibility of a small tour supporting some other bands. I could tell they were excited about it –but also incredibly nervous. The tour could either make them or break them. If it went well, there was the possibility that some record company would take interest. If it didn’t….well, they’d cross that bridge when it came. As John had said, right now they were more nervous about the upcoming show, because that had the possibility to make or break the chance to actually tour in the first place.

“You’re coming, right Cay?” Pat asked, tapping his foot quickly enough that the entire table was vibrating.

“Duh. Wouldn’t miss it for the world.”

Caitlyn shifted uncomfortably in her seat. “You should come too, Caitie,” John told her.

“Maybe,” she answered. “It could be fun, I guess.”

“Trust me; the more people, the better. That place is going to be empty,” Garrett announced, voicing what I’m sure everyone else was thinking.

I tried to reassure them, something I didn’t think I was necessarily good at most of the time. “I’m sure you’ll be fine, Gary. You guys have more fans than you know.”

Our food arrived after that, so all conversations stopped so we could each inhale our meals like we hadn’t eaten in weeks. Which, considering we were a group of teenage boys, was probably expected. Even Caitlyn, who normally ate very little very slowly, was chowing down, clearing everything off of her plate and even stealing a piece of bacon off of Halvo’s plate when he wasn’t looking.

Garrett dropped us off after we finished and left a hefty tip behind, finally relieving Caitlyn of Eric and John for the rest of the afternoon. We waved goodbye as they pulled back down the street, music blasting from the open windows.

“You like him.”

“What?” I asked, thoroughly confused.

“You like him!” Caitlyn squealed, pulling me into the house.

“Who?”

“Don’t play that game with me!” She hissed, checking to make sure that we were, in fact, alone in the house. “Garrett, silly! It’s so obvious!”

“Oh. That. Yeah….no. Cait, he’s my best friend. That’s it.”

“Mm-hm. Okay. Whatever you say.”

“Hey, you shouldn’t be talking, Caitie.”

She stopped dead in her tracks, and I knew she was blushing for what seemed like the billionth time today. “I-”

“Relax, kiddo. I think it’s cute that you have a crush on an older man. And hey, we’re having a horror movie marathon later…maybe he can protect you from the scary monsters.” I made monster claws as I said it, and then winked at her and retreated to my room, hoping she’d have the sense to not follow me.

Sprawled out on my bed, blocking the sun streaming in through the window, I thought about what she had said. I didn’t like Garrett. Not like that. He was like a brother to me –they all were– liking any of them would be weird. There was no way in hell that I like liked him, because that would not only be weird for me and especially him, but for the other guys, too. No way. Garrett and I were strictly friends. Caitlyn was just going through that fifteen year old girl phase where everything was like a romantic comedy and the two people who ended up falling in love were the two that had been in front of each other the whole time, oblivious to each other. But it was just that, a phase, and nothing in real life ever worked out like that. Besides, I was too busy to be worrying about boys. I had a summer to plan and a band to support.

Garrett and I were only friends.