I love you, but i want you to die

"It was like I was trying to cut through thick meat very thick meat. I imagine driving the
knife through his heart, the way he had taken mine in the palms of his hand and broken it. I wanted him to die, suffer like I did. Only thing I wanted him to die. Right when he was dying I wanted to taste his big brown juicy lips. I wanted to taste them one more time, to feel them being moist and aching to live. I wanted to run my hand up and down his well built bronze body. I wanted to run my hands through his hair, and violently yank it, while he was lying in a pool of his own blood, begging for mercy for his life to be spared. All the while, I would be asking if he thought about what breaking my heart would do to me, if I could just forget him being in another girl's arms on birthday, and laughing in my face as hot tears strolled down my cheeks. I wanted him to know he would have no mercy, that his hazel eyes would soon be nothing but a dull bottomless pit, rather than sparkling tranquilizers."