And I Whispered to the Night, Why me?

“Goodbye darling, I’ll miss you!” She stepped into the car and zoomed off into the night. The tears streamed down my face and my breaths came out in strangled gasps.

“Don’t go, please”-

I gasped again and my eyes fluttered open. I sat up in my bed resting my head on my palm. It was still dark outside, but the light reflecting off the moon shone into my room.

My cheeks were wet and sticky and my pillow was damp, I must have been crying for a while, or just crying a lot.

I flipped over my pillow in order to get some more sleep. I lay back down, but it was hopeless. The clock read 3:30 and there was no chance I was getting to sleep anytime soon.

Thoughts of mum filled my head, about the day she left. I was seven; I’m still not quite sure why she left. It was over seven years ago, so I don’t suppose I’ll ever find out now, dad never talked about it. Michael was lucky; he was only three when mum left, so he didn’t remember much at all. But I remembered everything, how else could a get a dream with such good picture quality and sound. Sound? My dreams never had sound, how weird.

After another three hours or restless-non sleep I decided that it was time to get up. I could get a lot done without dad and Michael around, washing, cleaning; I could even make them a nice breakfast for once.

I grabbed my dressing gown off the top of the wardrobe and slipped on my slippers. I headed down stairs as quietly as possible. I could hear Michael snoring from his room.

The kitchen was a mess, so I figured I’d start on that before anything else. After doing the dishes and giving the place a quick wipe down, I started on a load of washing. The weekly routine, would it ever end? I was sick of it after the first time. After cleaning the whole of downstairs I started on breakfast. I grabbed the flour out of the cupboard and started making pancakes.

Dad and Michael were up at eight. By that time I was dressed and happily eating my batch of pancakes.

“Something certainty does smell good!” Dad exclaimed.

“You’re telling me!” Michael rushed to the largest batch of pancakes and started gobbling them down.

“Table manners, Michael!” Dad laughed and sat down too, “Good morning Lauren.”

“Morning dad,” I smiled, popping my last pancake into my mouth.

“So, what’s on the agenda for today?” Dad asked us.

Michael was first to reply, “Well I’m gonna go play some footy with Adam and a couple of the guys later.”

“Sounds like fun,” dad swallowed, “How about you Lauren?”

“Oh, I think I’ll just go do some shopping today, we’re running dangerously low on groceries,” I laughed, getting up and taking my dishes.

“I’ll come with you then, I didn’t have anything planned anyway,” Dad stood up.

“Oh, no dad, you don’t have to, I’ll be fine,” I took Michael’s dishes from him.

Dad followed me into the kitchen with his own dishes.

“No, no, I insist.”

I had never really gotten on that well with dad, so being stuck in a car with him for any amount of time was uncomfortable. Of course the radio did tend to help, most of the time.

The shopping centre was full of people, even at this time of day. We headed to Coles and I gave dad half of the list. I went to the dairy section and dad went to get our fruit and vegetables. I suppose having dad here would save me some time.

I headed down the aisle looking for cheese, my trolley swiveled; I had gotten one with a mind of its own. It moved left and collided with another trolley, the crash hurt my ears. Lucky neither trolley had anything in them.

“Shoot! Sorry, it was an accident,” I looked up and saw the face of, possibly the most beautiful person I had ever seen.

“No biggie, I should have watched where I was going,” he said.

Our trolleys were kind of stuck now, so he had to get on his hands and knees to un-hook them.

“Hey,” he said when he was done, “I know you from somewhere, what’s your name?”

“Oh, me?” I stumbled, “I’m Lauren, Lauren Madigan.”

“Lauren, huh?”

“Mmm hmm,” I nodded.

“I know! You’re in my Algebra class! You sit in the second row,”

“Oh! Mark, Mark O’Bryan!” I exclaimed.

“Yeah! Whoa, what a coincidence that we would meet up here,” Mark said.

“Yeah, totally,” I agreed, we were next to the cheese so I grabbed a packet and stuffed it into my trolley. Mark grabbed a packet to.

“Well I better go,” Mark said, “I’m shopping with my mum.”

I laughed, “Okay, I’ll see you around.”

“Not if I se you first,” Mark Joked.

We both walked of in different directions and I saw Mark meet up with him mum.

I went over to dad in the fruit and vegetable section; he seemed to be having some trouble.

Once we had all the shopping we went home, it was twelve so I had to get lunch on.

Two days later I was back a t school, fantastic! I hated school, more than you could possibly know. Sure I was smart and everyone thought I loved school, but that was the exact reason why I didn’t. The people, the mean, bossy, lazy, smart ass people, they really got on my nerves.

First period was the same as usual; I had English by the way and a substitute. It seemed like lately we were always having substitutes. Most people just sat in the back of the classroom talking, but in English I had no one to talk to, I was the outcast. The one you could be friends with if you tried, but who can be bothered doing that? No one I know, that’s for sure.
The only friend I had was Beth. I had one class with Beth, Drama. I loved drama, my dad had put me in this class when I was little in order to boost my confidence, it worked but it’s not like I ever cared what anyone thought about me anyway.

So back to the main point, I had no fiends in most of my classes, which is probably partly why my grades are so good; I have nothing to do in class but work. So for the whole of period one I sat reading my favorite book of all time, Twilight.

When the bell went I didn’t even notice until someone banged in the back with their bag. I heard them snickering on their way out.

I had lunch with Beth; we talked about, stuff, not very interesting stuff, but stuff all the same. I couldn’t help but wonder if Beth was a little preoccupied. She didn’t say anything but a friend can always tell.

I headed to my period two class a little late, I was up on the top oval with Beth and we didn’t here the bell. When I got to the room everyone was already inside. Algebra, my most hated or my most loved, I can’t say.

The room was full off people and there was no where to sit, except. Just my luck, Mark and all of his goofy friends. How awkward was this going to be?
They all shoved aside their books to let me sit down, but all gave me funny looks as well. All except Mark of course, he smiled; he was probably one of the nicest guys I knew.

Class went slow, I talked to Mark a bit, all of his friends looking at us weird, not to mention all the dirty looks the girls in the class gave me. Jealousy, that’s what it was.

Before class ended, when everyone was sat looking at the clock to see when the bell would ring, Mark asked me something, very surprising.

“Hey, Lauren, do you mind if I sit with you today?”

“No, why would? What’s going on?” I asked surprised.

“Don’t you know? Beth and Alex are going out.”

“What?!” the bell went then, so my voice wasn’t too loud, “Since when?”

“Since Saturday,” Mark answered, shocked by my reaction.

“Why didn’t Beth tell me this?” I wondered, mostly to myself.

“I don’t know,” Mark said. Did I mention that Alex was Mark’s best friend, no I don’t think I did, well he is, just so you know.

That night I went home to some even worse news,

“We’re going to Africa!”

“What?!” I said shocked.

“Me and dad, we’re going to Africa!” Michael rejoiced.

See what I mean, bad news. I‘d lost mum, and then I lost Beth, my only real friend. Now dad and Michael were going to Africa, for who knows how long.
My life was going down the drain faster than you can imagine.

The next few weeks were lonely, very lonely. I spoke to no one. Except my auntie, while dad and Michael were away I had to stay with Auntie Shirley. The worst cook in the family and her house smelled of cats. Reeking cats.
So I was lonely, have you ever been lonely? That much lonely, I bet you have friends and a family who cares about you enough not to go away n a holiday and leave you behind. So what if you don’t like the place you’re going to, if you’re spending time with the people you love it really doesn’t matter.
So I stared venting by throwing rocks into the lake. From really high up, you know on one of those bridges, the really high ones. Anyway one day I don’t know, it just sort off happened. Michael and dad were coming back today I suppose I wanted to make them feel bad, Beth too, for leaving me for some stupid guy that she barley even knows. I suppose I wanted to make everyone pay, for everything anyone has every done to me, then maybe they might see what they did was wrong. I didn’t want their pity, I wanted them to suffer, big time.

So, I got up on the railing of the bridge, I had never been afraid of heights before, so that wasn’t a problem, but my stomach was doing back flips all the same. I wanted to go out in style, so I dived. That’s right, into the lake, form around 20 meters up, in to the moving water. And get this; I didn’t know how to swim.

The wind was nice on my face for the moments it lasted, and then I hit the water. It was everywhere, I couldn’t breath, my wrist and leg were throbbing but my stomach felt worse, I hadn’t hit the water so good, did I mention I was terrible diver to?

But then I felt the hands, strong hands pulling, I heard my name, repeatedly by three different voices. Then, I remembered nothing.

When I woke, it was dark, so dark, and so... empty. I wondered if they were still calling for me, asking me to come back. I listened they were. I could here them through the black emptiness. Was this heaven or hell? I wondered, or was it something completely different? I couldn’t decide.
The calling grew louder, the softer, back and forth.

I started to cry, “Dad!” I called, “Mark! Michael! Help me, please... I want to go back!” By now my voice was jus a faint whisper.

I did want to go back ,I did, I didn’t like this place, I didn’t want this, I didn’t want to die. I just wanted revenge.

They had tried to help me, they had! I didn’t mention the phone calls, everyday. I guess I just wanted you to feel sorry for me, it worked didn’t it?
They had tried to help me, but I didn’t want their help.
Well now I did! But with a wave of hopelessness I realized it was too late. The calling had stopped. It was over; it was too late, far too late.