I Never Should Have Let You Go

11:55pm. 5th February 2010. HMV, Time's Square.

"This is Cianna Fox New Year, this is Cianna Fox New Year!" I grinned into the walkie-talkie. Nick squeezed my hand excitedly as he looked out the window of the SUV.

There were thousands of people lining the streets, every single one of them here to watch the release of my album, Stop The World.

The car pulled up, and I made a sudden move to climb out. Nick snatched my wrist and pulled me back.

"Hold on, babe. Just wait for Big Rob to open the door." he laughed, kissing my temple.

"Yeah, but look at all my fans! They're just so incredible! I can't believe it!" I gushed. The smile couldn't be wiped from my face. I was so grateful for everything I had achieved over the past few years.

"I'm so proud of you, baby girl." Nick whispered, clutching my hand as the door swung open. The screaming instantly became louder as Nick and I walked along to the HMV counter.

"I love you!"

"Cianna! Nick!"

"Give me your autographs!"

There lying on the counter was the very first copy of my album, just waiting to be purchased. Glancing at Nick's watch, I squealed as the hands ticked over the 12.

I slapped a $10 bill into the cashier's hand, and jumped around on the balls of my feet as she printed out my receipt.

Nick wrapped his hand over mine, and together, we held our arms up in the air to show off the album.

I let him squeeze my waist tightly, and kiss my cheek. Letting my eyes fall shut, I snuggled into his side.

Normally I wasn't the type of person would display affection affectionately. It was nice to have Nick there to support me, but I still felt quite empty.

For the release of my first album Here We Go Again, my whole family was with me. Megan, Mum, Dad, and even a few aunties and uncles were there.

But this was life and life goes on. I was realising that I needed to grow and to act like the 18 year-old I was. I was letting small things get me down, and if I was to ever succeed as an adult, I had to move past them.

Back in the SUV, Nick removed the album from the bag and turned it over to read through the song titles.

His eyes skimmed over the text and then suddenly stopped. Nick's mouth opened and closed again.

"Why did you record a song with Joe?" he spat, tossing the CD case down on the seat grumpily.

"Because I wanted him to be the one I sang the song with. It's not really a big deal, Nick. He only sang half of it."

"Damn it, it is a big deal! Stop The World is our special song, okay? You go and let Joe record it with you! Are you trying to make me upset?"

I didn't take his tone. It was ridiculous how competitive and jealous he could get over something innocent.

"Nick, we need to really talk stuff over." The colour in his face drained significantly quickly. "We keep fighting over the silliest things and it's really immature. I'm at fault too, but we both need to clean up our act otherwise we'll never work out."

Nick sat silently for a few moments, taking in my warning carefully. A soft smile graced his face as he took my hand.

"I've been a huge dickhead lately and it's time I actually appreciated us. I know I've said it all before, but I'm actually going to try now."

Big Rob was glancing up in this rear vision mirror, watching us. I wondered if he and his wife had ever had this sort of conversation.

"So from now on, we make an effort to act our age? We try not to bicker and we turn over a new leaf. This is so incredibly cliche, but let's start a new beginning." I breathed, my voice shaky. For a strange reason, I was scared he wouldn't be able to accept my ultimatum.

"Okay, I'm Nicholas Jerry Jonas, born in Dallas--"

--

n i c h o l a s

"Nick! Have you seen my jacket?" Cianna called from our hotel room. I was standing in front of the bathroom mirror, shaving the stubble that had grown on my chin.

"Which jacket, baby?" I laughed, rinsing the razor under the running tap water.

It could be the fake leather jacket, the hoodie jacket, the white button-up jacket. There were just so many jackets! I just didn't understand the female mind. Women often drove me mad.

Suddenly, Cianna's voice was closer as she leant against the door frame. "My studded blazer. I had it on last night for Idol."

Nodding my head, I grabbed a towel and dried off my face. "Oh, yeah, it's under my pillow."

Cianna's brow furrowed. "Why is under your pillow?" she asked carefully.

Pouting my lips, I let out a dramatic sob and pretended to cry. "I'm just going to miss you so much, and that blazer is just so stylish that I have to wear it when you were gone!"

Cianna laughed, pulling out said clothing item from under the fluffy pillow. "I just don't understand the male mind sometimes." she chuckled.

Maybe this was why we were arguing so much. We just didn't get each other. All along, we hadn't agreed on much, and this was the area we had to fix. I was determined to make this love work.

--

Cianna held onto my torso tightly, nuzzling her face into my neck. I don't know who was holding on tighter. She was about to crack my ribs. It wouldn't be a very attractive look to have a cast around my chest. What if I wanted to go shirtless and tease all the fans?

"Flight 201 to Port-Au-Prince is now boarding. Please make your way to terminal 3."

Can somebody please rip that intercom from the ceiling? Please? Thanks.

"Okay, I have to go." Cianna whispered, trying to pull away.

"You're not going anywhere." I muttered, yanking her back into me so our chests collided.

"Ow! Are you trying to give me a breast reduction?" Cianna laughed.

"No." I whispered cheekily in her ear. "They're perfect the way they are."

She brought her small hand against my back with a giggle.

"What's next? A slap on the ass and handcuffs?" I teased, kissing her jaw. "Mmm, I love you."

She ran her hands through my curls, and held onto the back of my neck as we kissed. Joe was grumbling on beside us about how they were all going to be late.

Whatever, douche.

"Love you too." Cianna breathed, squeezing my tightly before letting go.

"Yes! It's all one big giant circle of love! Everybody feel free to join!" Joe exclaimed sarcastically, grabbing my arm.

"Shut up, man! Do you want me to kiss your girlfriend too? No? Okay, then close your mouth!" I replied, poking my tounge out. Oh yeah, I'm real awesome, I know.

"Flight 201 to Port-Au-Prince is now boarding. Please make your way to terminal 3."

"Cianna, we really have to go." Demi sighed. My beautiful girlfriend bit her lip, pecked my lips again, and disappeared onto the plane.

The wait in the airport for my flight back to LA was tedious. I sat typing away on my Blackberry. I replied to fans on Twitter and listened to some music. It was mostly Cianna's, but it's still music.

Halfway through my adventure of trying to get to sleep, my phone buzzed in my hand.

Incoming call; Jackass.

Even though I really didn't want to talk to the moron on the other end, I answered anyway.

Before I even got a chance to speak, Micheal opened his big trap and started blabbing.

"Sarah told me you tried to dump her yesterday."

Rolling my eyes, I lifted my Indiana Jones Jonas satchel over my head and wheeled my suitcase to the binoculars positioned at the furthest part of the airport.

Maybe if I shoved my foot up Micheal's ass hard enough, I could see him soaring through the sky and into the future.

"I did break up with her, dickhead." I spat. What a waste of time.

"Like fuck you did. You break my little sister's heart and I'll post those drunken half-naked pictures of Cianna all over the net. Wouldn't want me to do that to your little princess, would you?"

"You do anything of the fucking sort and I swear to God--"

And I swear to God, I'll chop your head off and use it as a marshmallow bowl for Miley.

"What was that, you little prick? Don't have the guts to stand up to me cuz you're scared I'll reveal to the whole world you're gay?"

"Fuck you. Cianna never did anything and I'm not letting you hurt her again. She's already out of pocket because of all that money she gave your wasted ass, and now her mom wants money so she can buy a house cause she cheated on--"

It took me a few moments to realise I was blurting our personal problems to some arrogant cocksucker.

"Thanks for that bud. Now I have more shit I can threaten your dumb girlfriend with."

I exploded, attracting the attention of other travellers, but to be honest, I couldn't give a rat's ass.

"You don't even fucking know Cianna, and she's better than your clingy sister could ever be! We don't need you fucking with our lives! I don't even know why I'm wasting my breath talking to you! Fuck off and don't call me back!"

Some old grandma was staring at me with disgust. She didn't know who I was so I disregarded her muttering.

When I got near Micheal I was going to whoop his hiney. He didn't have the right to talk about anybody like that.

After five minutes of cooling down time it hit me that I shouldn't have retaliated so badly. He was probably planning to do even more worse things now. Cianna's speech the previous night had just slipped my mind in the heat of the moment, and when she found out about my conversation with my ex's brother she was going to be pissed.

Damnit.