I Never Should Have Let You Go

As I slammed my foot down on the brake, my head surged forward, hitting the steering wheel with a loud thump.

The airbags hadn't gone off, but I wish that had. The impact had acted like a trigger to all my built-up emotions, and I screamed, pulling at my hair, scratching my face.

The road was now deserted, and I pulled over to sweep the hair out of my eyes.

"What the hell was that Cianna?!" Joe snapped, wrenching the keys from the ignition.

Both Maya and I were shaking. My rings rattled against the horn rapidly.

"I-I, oh, oh my God." I mumbled, my throat closing up in a panic. "I could've, could've k-killed us!"

Surprisingly, neither Joe nor Maya were angry at me for putting their lives in severe danger.

Joe got out of the car and opened my door. I swung my trembling legs out, leaning against the side of the vehicle.

"What's wrong with me?" I whispered.

"You're very hurt Cianna. I know it's the most horrible thing, but you need to get back on your feet." he soothed, rubbing my back.

"No." I shook my head, pushing against his chest. "Don't do that. It's what N-Nick did."

Tears were spilling again but I refused to let them break the dam. It was hard to stop my feelings from billowing out in the form of liquid, although it was possible.

"I'm going to be strong." I vowed. "There's been weeks of crying. No more. If Nick wants to come back to me he will, but until then, I will not think of him.

Well that promise to myself only lasted a few hours.

I was relaxing on the lounge, Snowball in my lap, when a text message arrived.

Opening it sleepily, my brain didn't register the words for a few moments.

From: Nick xxx
Message: Thanks for the rubbers. I hope you didn't think I'd be using them for you. I've got Sarah here and I'm she'll look great in those panties. They're just her size. ;). She really loves me. Take her advice. :)

After my desperate attempt for some contact, he'd finally answered my pleas.

But what was he talking about?

Rubbers? Rubbers. Oh! Condoms, oh, cond-Megan!

Shit!

n i c h o l a s

Sarah nibbled at my neck, her dainty fingers trailing down my arms.

She smelt sweet, just like strawberries and cream. Her tongue flicked out as she grazed her teeth over my skin.

"Why don't we go and take this up to your bedroom?" she whispered huskily, licking the inner shell of my ear.

In the heat of the moment, I nodded feverishly, scooping my hands under her shorts as I held her close.

Something inside of me was resisting. Sarah and I were in love, and I knew that maybe it was time to take things a lot further. The only time Cianna ever satisfied my hormones was when she was in her bikini or grinding on me.

Selfish.

"Come on babe." she growled, digging into my back pocket. "Let's put those condoms to good use."

If I went up those stairs, I'd be making the worse mistake of my life.

But I did it anyway.

j o s e p h

Frankie and I were playing video games on my bedroom floor when there came a loud bang from Nick's room.

Shrill giggling following, and I thought nothing of it. That was, until, the noise became a rhythmn.

Frank looked at me as I paused Simpsons Hit and Run.

"What did you do that for?" he complained. "I was totally aceing that mission!"

Pressing my finger to my lips, I hushed him, straining my ears to hear any more sound.

"Oh Nick."

That was it. Jumping to my feet, I stormed to my little brother's place of residence.

Pinching my eyes shut, I threw the door open. The room was muggy, and it was disgusting.

They both cried out, and I waited for the rustle of sheets before I looked.

The mental image of my brother in tight boxer briefs, will scar me for the rest of my wholesome life.

Sarah cowered under the covers, whimpering as I slammed the door shut.

"What the hell is going on here!" I snarled, folding my arms across my chest. "Does his promise mean anything to you? Does Cianna mean anything?"

The last question was solely aimed at Nick.

"Cianna means nothing to me at al! I stopped caring for her when she walked out of that wedding!" he snapped, readjusting the material around Sarah so she was properly shielded.

I'm glad he did so, because I really did not want to know where else she was pierced apart from her belly button.

Shudder.

"If Cianna told me rightly, and I don't believed she lied, you pushed her out. You touched her! You shoved her! She was your girlfriend Nicholas, and she meant more to you than Sarah ever will. You know that!"

"Why don't you piss off Joe?! I was in the middle of something really important!"

I scoffed, "What's really important is making Cianna feel like she's loved! She was hurt today she almost ran us into another car! She has nightmares! She can't sleep! Cianna's still in love with you Nick, and she always will be!"

c i a n n a

Megan calmly explained to me over the phone that she had sent the protection as a gift, considering the fact that I had previously mentioned numerous times that Nick seemed to have a fascination with women's panties.

"I got size small but I don't think they would fit him anyway. I put some water balloons in there too." she had said.

This was the least comical thing I had ever heard at the time, but when I thought back, it was funny.

At 10:30, I decided it was time to go to bed. It had been a stressfully tedious day, and it was time to retire.

Snowball padded along beside me, racing ahead to jump onto my mattress.

I passed the piano, gazing at it lovingly. The grand was my baby; many of my hits had been penned on it.

And suddenly, I felt like it was time for another.

Placing my fingers on the ivory, I pressed down the A flat key.

The sound was gentle, comforting even. Shutting my eyes, I let my hands move themselves.

A successful sounding melody was created, and words fitted easily.

It was like Nick was singing in my ear, coaxing the words out like honey from a bottle.

All of you
Shaped me into what I am
Carried out the bitter woman,
Do you have a master plan?
Oh no.

Somewhere I let all my defenses down,
Mever thought to turn around,
And you did not make a sound.

See it turning red.
Like a bullet through the chest.
Lay me down to rest.
It's a lovers final breath.

And I found out,
Nothing comes without a cost,
Life was just a game we lost,
Do you have a better thought?
Oh
Now you're gone,
Nothing's ever felt so wrong
A moment seems to last so long
Do you have faith so strong?

See it turn it turning red.
Like a bullet through the chest
Lay me down to rest
It's a lovers final breath.

Now I die,
Kiss your tender lips goodbye
Pray to God who hears my cry.

It was the perfect song, dedicated to the perfect boy.