I Never Should Have Let You Go

After a hearty breakfast of sausage and pancakes, I lugged my handbag over my shoulder and headed out the door. I'd slept well, even if it only was for 7 hours. From 1am to 2am I thought of a very special man sleeping in the bedroom next to me.

Our first of the meal of the day was already presented on the kitchen bench. I wolfed it down quickly, as I had no time to waste. There was a family picnic being held just like at Christmas, and I had to get to San Diego from San Fransisco by lunchtime.

Halfway down the driveway, a groggy sounding voice called after me. I stopped, and turned around seeing Nick standing there covering his mouth as he yawned. His shirt rode up as he stretched and I caught a peek at those deep 'V' lines.

"You're still wearing my sweatshirt." he murmured, thrusting his arm out. I glanced down to see the 'Team Hilario' font on the grey material. Whoops. He'd let me borrow it after I discovered that a white sports bra was not enough while I was sleeping in a household of men (and one woman).

"Oh, um, let me just go inside and I'll take it off." I sighed, unlocking the front passenger door to put my blazer on the seat.

"And you also forgot Snowball. She's in the backyard trying to eat Elvis's tail."

I smirked. It was typical of her playful personality to nibble on another creature of her kind. There were loud cries from the paparazzi outside the high metal gates once they realised Nick and I were talking.

"Are you two back together?"

"Just give me one shot of the two of you!"

"How does Sarah feel about the fact you're contacting each other?!"

Nick groaned, and looked at me with an exasperated expression, reaching for my hand to lead us inside wordlessly.

Big mistake.

The clicking of cameras went wilder than before, voices were raised, and Nick became even more irritated.

"Why can't they all just piss off?" he grumbled, gritting his teeth. "My life is not that interesting, and to be quite honest, I do not enjoy the fact that teenies now about my every moment."

Once I knew we were well hidden behind the confinements of the foyer, I patted his back gently. There were knots of tension tied up in all his muscles, and I may of kind of wanted to give him a massage, but I didn't.

Joe emerged from the kitchen, carrying the energetic bundle of white fur that was my dog.

I took her in my arms, then quickly realised I couldn't bring her upstairs. Nick raised his brows, and offered to take her. Shrugging, I deposited her into his grasp, slinking up the stairs and dragging my feet along with loud stomps.

n i c h o l a s

Snowball panted along happily as she craned her neck up to run her tongue over my nose. There's nothing better than canine saliva to wake you up in the morning!

There was an open laptop on the dining table, and when Cianna didn't return after two minutes, I found it my right to occupy myself.

Perez Hilton was already bookmarked in the favourites bar, so it had to be Danielle's laptop.

'Breaking Cianna Fox News Only On Perez Hilton.'

The Fox's Shopping Mishap.

Miss Cianna encountered some horrifying tin canned peaches as she trotted around the Gelsons markets.

The pop-star seemed distracted by a call she was making on her cell phone. Apparently she didn't see the gigantic pile of packaged fruit and collided straight into them at full force.

She came off looking embarassed, but, after the mess was cleared, continued on purchasing groceries.

I stifled a laugh, and clicked through a few images. Cianna was sprawled out along the linoleum, her butt sticking up in the air as she crawled around collecting cans. It was kind of cute, even I had to admit it. Her jeans were tight, and they perfectly sculpted her slender thighs. Also, the way she lifted-

There was a loud clearing of a throat behind and I jumped six feet, slamming the laptop lid closed. Snowball gave a yap of terror and leapt of my lap, taking off towards the doggy door.

"Staring at her ass, weren't you?" Kevin smirked, folding his arms across his chest.

"Oh shut up." I retorted, reopening the lid cautiously. "It's not like you don't stare at Dani's every night."

"If I do recall correctly she is my wife, and I am allowed to do that." he grinned.

With a few clicks of the mouse, I had six model-looking shots of Cianna being sent to my Blackberry.

The sound of feet padding down the wooden stairs warned me to shut down Perez and retrieve Snowball from the yard.

Cianna took her from with a grateful smile, and smiled again when I opened the front door for her.

The number of paparazzi had decreased slightly, and Ci was able to manoeuvre her Kombi Van (ahem, piece of junk, ahem) onto the road without hitting one of them.

Drat.

As I turned back around, Maya was right there in front of me, a stupid cocky grin parked on her mouth.

I still had the shits with her because of last night. She had no right in hell to read that receipt. It was a private document belonging to me only.

"What do you want?" I spat.

And it was then a long and tedious lecture on some boring old crap started spurting into my ears.

c i a n n a

I dropped Snowball off at Demi's just down the road and then hit my foot on the gas to get back to my place. My clothes were waiting for me patiently on a padded coathanger suspended on the rack on my bedroom door.

I shrugged on a nautical striped playsuit, then on went a pair of white socks and red Converse. An anklet was clipped around my ankle, and then I slipped on my new favourite accessory - an emerald and diamond ring.

--

My mother, father and sister were waiting at the baggage terminal of the airport. Extra security had been called in in advance of my arrival, and a clear path had been made ahead of me.

It was nice to be able to walk with bumping into others, but I felt like one of those celebrities who thought the sun shone on their armpit hair.

A few fans stopped Megan and I, asking for autographs, and I happily obliged. They were, after all, the ones who helped me get so far in my career.

"How are you sweetie?" my mum Helen asked, kissing my cheek. "How are things with Nick?"

With a shrug, I opened my purse to retrieve some Tylenol to rid of a massive headache I'd developed. "They're okay, I guess. Um, we're trying to work things out."

Meg elbowed me sharply in the side. "He's still an douche-monkey, that hasn't changed." She was glaring at me dangerously. I suppose maybe I shouldn't have revealed anything.

Dad spun around, glaring at his oldest daughter. "Megan, what have I told you about using that language in front of Cianna?"

With a silent sigh, I rolled my eyes discretely. "Dad.." I complained shortly.

My father Peter cracked his stone-set face, and enveloped me in a warm bear hug. "How's my girl?" he asked, squelching my insides into a mass of pulp.

"I'm...good!" I wheezed, prying his fingers away before I fell unconsciousness.

"It's good to our family back together again." Mum sighed happily, throwing her arms around Megan's and my shoulders.

And as corny as it sounds, I felt the same way.

--

"Come on Cianna! Get in the water!" my cousin Adam yelled. To be honest, I was much more comfortable perched under a beach umbrella whilst playing acoustic guitar, rather than getting salt water in the cut on my finger.

"Maybe later Adam!" I called back, experimenting around with a couple of chords.

"Party pooper!" he chastised. "I bet you Megan will come in!"

I glanced over at my sister skeptically. She was lying down on a beach towel, flipping through a movie script.

Then I looked back at Adam's incredibly annoying sibling, Paula, who was pleading with me to tell her stories about 'the adventures of Cianna and Nick'.

"How about you go in the water with him, sweetie, and I'll promise to tell you some stories." I smiled, lying through my teeth.

She nodded feverishly and bounded straight into the water. I returned the fingers on my left hand to the strings, and strummed out an E chord.

"What are you singing Cianna?" Megan asked, coming to sit next to me. I shrugged, tearing the corner of my lyric sheet. "A song?" I replied. A song about Nick. Again.

There was a silence as she leant over and hugged me. My phone interrupted the sisterly love. I pulled it from my bag and opened the new text message.

From: Kevin
Message: hey cianna. just a quick question. did u see the engagement ring when u got changed this morning? i'm not accusing u, but its gone missing. nick's freaking out. thanks. kev.

My hands started to shake rapidly as I realised I had made a big mistake. The temptation was something I had given in to. The ring box had been sitting on Nick's dresser, and I smuggled into my handbag. I don't know why I did it, but when I wore that certain piece of jewellery I felt special and still loved.

To: Kevin
Message: no, it didn't see it. :) i was more focused on leaving on time. tell nick i hope he finds it soon. xx

Almost three weeks passed with no mention of the 'missing' ring. I kept it safely in my wardrobe, and never wore it out in public.

The guilt of stealing something was wearing off, but then when it came to recording the last song for my album, it hit me like a tidal wave.

Joe was meeting up with me at Starbucks, and then he was recording background vocals for Stop The World. It had been his suggestion, but I needed a deep voice to echo me anyway.

A large caramel iced latte was my pick me-up while Joe sipped on a hot chocolate. He swallowed a gulp, and looked at me seriously.

"Did you take that ring?" he asked. My mouth went dry, although I believe I kept it together.

"No. Why? Does Nick think I did?" I spat, sounding more harsh than I intended to. Joe pursed his lips.

"Well Nick doesn't know what's happened to it. I'm telling you now, that if you do have it, just let me know so that we know it's safe." he sighed, rummaging through his wallet to find a bank note to hand the waitress.

"I didn't take it Joe, and even if I did, I would've told someone sooner. I'm not a person that keep in regret for too long." I snapped. My legs were trembling under the table with fright.

For not one more moment could I put up with Joe's interrogation. I was in the bathroom, passing up bile into the toilet. The middle Jonas's voice flooded into the tiled place.

"Hey, hey, what's wrong?" he soothed, rubbing my back as I chucked up more into the porcelain.

All the events that had happened between the family outing at the beach and the latest recording made me too sick to the stomach to even recall them.

"N-nothing's wrong." I stammered, tossing my head away when Joe tried to tuck a strand of hair behind my ear.

"You can talk to me Cianna. You're like my little sister, I'm always here to listen to you." he whispered, enveloping me in his arms.

And it was then that I revealed to the first person what had happened.