I don't need you

Once again I'm shoving everything I own into my duffle bag, quickly pulling the zip as I squeezed in the last item.
"Erica listen to me." Joe said trying to stop me again
"No you listen Joe, if you try and stop me from leaving I swear to-"
"What's going on in here?" Joe's mum asked suddenly appearing in the door way "Erica are you leaving?"
"Yes I am." I nodded my voice calmer then when I was yelling to Joe "Thank you for letting me stay in your home, but I think it's best if I leave now." I said standing up, grabbing my bag by the handle
"Has something happened?" she asked looking at Joe then me again
"Ask your son." I muttered as I left the room, then rushed down the stairs.

I have no idea if i've done the right thing or not, I didn't mean to blurt out that I knew everything, especially when I was as angry as I was when it happened, which is weird for me because i've never been that angry before. Even more when he kissed me again, did he really think that was going to help the situation, like I would just forget what he did and kiss him back and everything would suddenly be ok. Yes I know that playing him wasn't right but what he was doing to me was worse, well it is in my eyes anyway. How can you let someone believe that you want to help them and then act like you like them so that they fall for you, all so you can win a bet with your friends. What made him think that it was ok for him to do that, and then he has the audacity to practically attack a guy who actually was interested in me, yes he may have been a bit forward by kissing me within 5 minutes of actually meeting each other but I kissed him back because I was ok with it. The only possible reason that Joe would do it is because he's threatened by the fact that I was showing interest in another guy, and then he would lose his bet. I think in a way I'm kinda glad it's over with, all the lying, everything. At least now I can just finished this school year and leave just like I planned, no Joe trying to control my life, just me.

Reaching the place I once called home I look at the front door taking a deep breath before reaching for my key and opening the door. All the lights are off so either Allen's not here or he's asleep, either way I hope he doesn't realize I'm back. Not yet anyway.

"Look who came crawling back." Allen laughed as he emerged from the living room, his words are slurred so he's obviously drunk. Big surprise.
"I'm going to bed." I muttered going straight to the stairs, dragging my bag behind me.

Thankfully in the safety of my own room I close the door only now letting any tears run down my cheeks. Kicking off my shoes and pulling off my jeans and top I changed into my pajamas, turning off the light I finally curle up under my duvet just wanting to fall asleep and forget everything.

*******

Thank god it's sunday, it's given me a chance to sleep in and basically not get out of bed. Which is what i've done, I haven't left my bed since I woke up over an hour ago. I dreamt of Joe, I didn't want to but I did, he took me to the beach and brought me ice cream just like I had done for him last week. I know I should've hated the dream but I didn't, only because in it everything was different, there was no bet, there was no lying. It was just two friends hanging out and having fun. Which even though me and Joe were similar to in real life I could never fully enjoy the time we spent together because I was so preoccupied with analyzing what he did and reminding myself that I was trying to out play him. I let out a groan of frustration, why does he still manage to get into my life when I don't want anything to do with him! I've never wanted anything to do with him from the start, so why has he suddenly become all I think about?

*******

Monday morning, school. I've been dreading this day for one reason, Joe. I know he's going to find me or at least spend the day looking for me and I know when he does he's not gonna leave me alone. Slamming my locker I turned to go to class, gasping at the sight of Joe.
"I see you've gone back to jeans and a hoodie." he said gesturing to my outfit
"I thought I told you to stay away from me." stepping to the side to walk around him he stuck his arm out to stop me
"Just hear me out, please." he begged
I took a deep breath "You have 30 seconds."
"Thank you, I really appreciate you letting me explain-"
"25" I said bluntly cutting him off
"Look I know what I did was wrong and you have every right to be pissed off, but the bet-"
"What did you bet?" I suddenly blurted out suddenly wanting to know what it was
"What?" he asked looking confused
"The terms of the bet, what were they?"
"Does it matter?"
"Yes it does actually, because I would like to know what you think I'm worth." I snapped
"Nothing" he muttered
"Nothing? What do you mean nothing?"
"There was no prize, it was just a-"
"So you agreed to the bet because you were bored? Well thanks, it's nice to know I'm worthless." Crossing my arms I went to walk around him again but he's quick to stop me.
"You know for a fact no matter what my answer was gonna be you're going to use it as an excuse to lecture me some more, I'm sorry for what I did but it's done and you can't keep trying to find new reasons to hate at me."
"Don't you dare, where do you get off trying to make yourself the victim. I can yell at you for whatever fucking reason I want, so don't try and guilt trip me into forgiving you." I shouted
"Look Erica when I agreed to the bet I just thought i'd make you a friend and that would be it, but then Ryan upped the stakes I didn't think about what I was saying yes to. I just agreed to do it."
"Don't lie to me Joe, you knew what you were doing and what makes it worse is that you can't even admit to it. What were you going to do afterwards, what if I had fallen for you and you won your bet. What would have happened to me after you went back to your friends and they all went back to ignoring me?"
"I don't know." he shrugged now going quiet, his eyes looking down at the floor
"Exactly my point Joe, you don't know because you don't care." I muttered
"I can't win with you can I?"
"Then stop trying."