Another Night, Another Score

Dani

Oh good god, I hope my dad was at work, please god oh please, just this once please let this be true. Because if my dad was at work then I could say I was a friend’s sleeping over, but if my dad didn’t go to work and is home at the moment he would see me coming into our apartment in the same outfit I left with, he would be so disappointed. I don’t want to do that to him now, especially not when my mother just left us.

Breath in... Breath out... Breath in... Breath out. I took out my house key by peeling the skin of the back of my iPhone. I stuck it in and turned the door handle slowly. I took a deep breath in and walked through the wooden door frame.

Sitting in the kitchen on a chair my father was talking into a phone facing away form me, his voice laced with worry, fear and panic. “No I know it hasn’t been 24 hours but she wouldn’t just not come home for a night.” There was a pause, “With all due respect detective, I think I know my daughter, no n-no! She isn’t irresponsible like that!”

After another short pause my dad says in a loud and angry tone, “Hello? Hello? Hello!” I could hear the dial tone all the way form where I was standing. “Hi dad...” I said nervously in a high pitched voice, oh god, oh my god I am so dead, he called the police!

“Dan-Danielle? Thank God your okay!” He said coming rushing towards me with his arms out to hug me. “Honey where were you all night? I was so worried!”

I can’t do this! How am I suppose to tell him that his baby girl is drinking and past out last night! How am I suppose to tell him that, that’s practically all what I’ve been doing the past week!

“Honey... Why do you smell like liquor?” My dad says as he was pulling away from me, he look at me in the eyes. As I stared back I noticed his stormy gray eyes held disappointment, disbelief, shock and sadness. I cannot bare to look at him anymore, I just felt so ashamed.

“Drinking is not the answer no matter what, even if it helps you forget for the littlest time, it doesn’t help you will always remember your mother once you wake up in the morning. Dani, baby look at me,” He said as he softly brought his hand close to my chin which forced my head to turn and look at him. “Dani, why would you want to forget your mother? I know that the last moments you had with her weren’t the best however there are better memories, memories that you do want to remember, live your life thinking of those memories.” He continued to say to me softly.

Still lose for words my mouth is closed as if they were glued shut. How can my dad not be mad? How can he be so generous to me? If I were in his spot I would be yelling, and punishing my child. At that moment I decided that I will stop drinking from now on, I will no longer drink until I past out. I will no longer get wasted. I know from now on I won’t drink everyday of the week.
“This has got to stop okay? Before it starts hurting you.” My dad asks me using the same caring tone.

“I promise daddy.” I said as I brought my right hand to his left arm to hold it assuringly.

“Okay honey now go to your room and get some rest, once you wake up I will make you something to eat, okay?” Nodding I walked back into my room and laid on my soft bed.

As I laid there I started to feel tired however the longer I was lying there the more I felt less tired and the more I felt this strong hunger in my stomach. But it wasn’t like I am hungry, I know that because I grabbed an apple on my way out of the apartment.

This hunger soon overpowered everything, I am no longer tired at all, I can’t think properly, I can’t think of anything but this strange hunger. Getting pissed at the fact that I can’t sleep I decided to get a drink of water only to see my dad on the couch drinking beer watching the game. After getting a glass of water and sipping it slowly I saw that my dad had fallen asleep, never noticing that I was even in came out my bedroom.

I walked over to my dad on the couch, I saw a thin blanket pushed all the way to one side of the blanket. Not wanting him to get cold I placed the blanket over his body carefully. As I did that I saw that the beer he was drinking before was still cold and unfinished sitting on the coffee table.

So why not clear the table? I brought the beer to my lips as I walked out of the room my father was in, drinking and walking I brought it back to the kitchen. Once I took one last gulp I threw it into the garbage. Feeling better and sleepier I went back into my room, I laid back down and slowly drifted to sleep. Drifting away to unconsciousness and my body feeling heavier by the minute I felt better than I have ever since I came home.

It was then I noticed my craving was gone and that I am no longer hungry, instead of confusion I honestly felt like I could care less.