Clear The Tears

You know the old saying that you go to high school to find your husband? Well I think that’s completely inaccurate, I think you go to high school to find your best friends and bridesmaids. Your husband comes along much later, way after all the tears from the first failed attempt have dried, and he makes high school worth it.

If your wondering how on earth its possible that I know that already, well let’s do a little bit of a rewind shall we.

Rewind High School

I walk down the hallway on the last day of my junior year, going to my dreaded chemistry class my only bright spot one of my best friends and my secret crush Josh. Of course he doesn’t know that and I should know to leave it that way but I don’t. With a note he now knows that I like him.

Senior year finally rolls around with a few four hour conversations on the computer under my belt I go back excited for senior year only to have my dreams squashed.

“Hey Steph”

I look down a few lockers to my friend Trisha and nod for her to continue.

“Umm your not gonna believe this, but Josh is dating Sara”

I look at her baffled “Boyfriend stealer Sara?” I ask and she nods.

Well looks who strikes again, I sigh and just walk away. It irritates me to know that someone that was one of my best friends just a few short years ago is now dating someone I have a crush on.

But what hurts is that neither one tells me ever, I graduate knowing but never from either of them.

Fast-forward 5 years

It’s my junior year once again, in May of next year I will graduate with my Master’s degree and I couldn’t be more excited. Life has been good I’ve forgotten about what’s-his-name and his slutty girl friend from high school. I walk across campus fully focused on where I’m going and what I need for my next classes as I walk straight into someone and everything goes flying.

I mumble under my breath as I start to grab at papers before everything fly’s away.

“I’m so sorry I really need to look where I’m going”

“No problem, no one was hurt… I think this is yours, Stephenie pretty name”

I look towards the voice smile and graciously take my paper.

“Thanks, for both. Your name?”

I move my hair out of my face as I stand back up making sure I’ve collected everything.

He smiles at me and I can’t help but smile back “Nick”

“Well sorry I didn’t meet you under better circumstances” I say laughing a little bit.

“What could be better circumstances than walking right into each other…. literally” he laughs.

We both start walking in the same direction and I look at him puzzled

“What?” he asks

“Weren’t you going the other way when I walked into you?”

“Actually I wasn’t walking I just turned around to make sure that I hit the lock button for my car” he says and I nod.

“So Stephenie where ya going?”

“Call me Steph please and I’m going to British Literature. First day of the new semester and I already had to write a paper for that class”

Nick laughs and nods “Yeah I know what you mean…. looks like I’ll see you every day this time”

I shake my head and Nick looks at me confused “This is a once a week class” I say and he nods.

We walk the rest of the way across campus in an unusually comfortable silence.

Fast Forward 4 months

“Nick…. do not throw that book at me!” I squeal as Macbeth by William Shakespeare comes flying towards my head.

“That was not funny”

“To you”

“What do you have against Macbeth anyway?”

“Old guy, kills another old guy, and ends up dead at the end…. oh so interesting”

“Nick! We have no choice but to read it, you shouldn’t have taken Brit Lit if you didn’t want to read”

Nick rolls his eyes at me and retrieves his copy from behind me.

“Hey! Watch the hands!” I say and watch Nick turn bright red

“I was nowhere close!” he says and I start laughing

“Just kiss her already” a voice says and I turn to see my roommate Jenny enter the room

“Funny Jen… you know Nick is just my best friend, right Nick?”

Nick nods slowly and not long after says he has to leave. Jenny eyes me suspiciously and I sigh and lay down

“I think I’m tired,” I say forcing myself to yawn

“I think you’re in love,” Jenny says and I laugh at her

“Anyway! Guess who called me today?” I say and Jenny hops to my bed

“Is he cute?” she says and I laugh

“Josh!” her face falls.

“Great! The high school heart breaker”

I furrow my eyebrows together and huff

“Like I said before I think I’m tired”

Next Semester

“So how’s the ‘boy friend’”

“Nick why do you do that?”

Nick looks at me innocently. I sigh and roll my eyes at him

“We’re fine if you must know”

Nick shrugs his shoulders and mumbles something that I am almost positive was ‘yeah for now’. I shake my head and walk further ahead of him

“Steph!”

He calls after me and I turn around

“What! You really don’t need to talk to me anymore it’s a new semester, we’re not in the same class anymore. Bye”

I walk away slowly, as I hear Nick’s final plea if you even want to call it that.

“When he breaks your heart again like I know he will. You know where to find me”

I stop dead in my tracks and debate turning around to give him a piece of my mind but when I do he’s gone. I let out a huff of air and continue to walk to class, its almost my last year of college I don’t need this stupid drama.

2 weeks later I find myself pacing around my room with a phone attached to my ear. Jenny went home for the weekend and I was going to do the same thing but changed my mind. After 5 rings I hear a beep that pulls me from my trance.

“Nick…. please call me back” I say quietly

After I hang up the phone I change into my pajamas and decide to watch a movie about halfway through my phone rings the name on the caller id makes my heart fall into my stomach.

“What!”

“Steph, forgive me?”

“No!”

“Please, you know I love you”

“No you don’t”

I hang up the phone and look down. Playing with the strings on my pants I think of the person that bought them, of course it was Nick. He always bought me something that reminded him of me when he was in a store, these pants happened to be very warm and fuzzy and quickly became my favorite.

I shut my phone off and toss it across the room and it lands with a tiny thud in the middle of Jenny’s bed. I quickly slide on shoes and take the walk across campus in the middle of January. I sigh as I get up to the door. I gently knock and hear nothing, so I knock a little harder.

“Who’s there?” His voice that I’d hope would make me smile makes a tear roll down my face.

“N-nick?” I choke out.

The door flies open in a flurry

“What happened kiddo?” he asks concerned.

“What do you think?”

I look at him with watery eyes. He lowers his head and lets out a sigh

“Steph…I”

“Nick please don’t say I told you so,” I say and he jerks his eyes towards me. He steps closer engulfing me in a hug.

“ I would never. I was going to say I hoped I was going to be wrong”

“It’s too quiet in my room, can I stay here?” I ask and he nods pulling me into the room.

“Are those my pants?” he asks and I laugh lightly

“No they are mine. But yes you bought them” I say and he smiles

“That’s what I meant”

A yawn escapes accidentally and next thing I know I’m slowly falling asleep on a very comfortable Nick.

The next morning I wake up and see Nick looking at me.

“Good morning sleepy head” I smile at him. “Sleep good?” he asks and I nod

“Thanks Nick” I say groggily.

“Anything for you” he says kissing my forehead, and I sigh

“What?” he asks and I shake my head. “Tell me,” he says poking my sides.

“ I missed you,” I say snuggling further into his arms.

“I missed you too,” he says increasing his grip

Fast Forward 2 years

“I’m scared,” I say turning around to see Jenny, Mary, Kelly, Kendra, and Ashly

“More than you were when you graduated?” someone asks and I think for a moment

“I’m gonna puke”

“You will not 5 voices echo”

“Yes I am,” I say turning back around

We all move to be in the correct order and people start moving forward. I take a deep breath and gulp and then I see Mary turn around before walking ahead of me.

“Just look up” she says and I do

“Still feel like throwing up?” she asks walking forward and I shake my head.

I feel a smile creep on my face as a tear threatens to fall.

“What’s wrong” I look at the direction of the quiet voice and mouth nothing

For the next 20 minutes I bounce between emotions of sadness, happiness, that reoccurring urge to puke and others until finally.

“I now pronounce you husband and wife you may kiss the bride”

I feel a pair of lips crash to mine and all the emotions float away.

“Nick?” I ask

“What? Are you ok? Do you need anything?” he asked worriedly and I just smiled at him “What?” he asks smiling as well

“You are perfect, and I love you” I say still smiling at him

“I love you too,” he says kissing me softly.

Present

So now do you see, don’t let that first heartbreak really break you. Because high school is for bridesmaids real life brings you the perfect husband.