Your Hand In Mine

Note to Self #61: Always expect the unexpected while hanging out with members of the Pittsburgh Penguins--specifically Max Talbot, Billy Guerin, and Pascal Dupuis.

The guys picked me up half an hour after we got off the phone like they said they would. We let Max decide where we should eat, and he picked TGI Friday's.

First, you should probably know our seating arrangements so you don't get too confused. Geno was on the opposite side of the table from me at the very end on the left. Sid was next to him. Then came Billy. Jordan was directly across from me. He was sitting next to Max. Alex was at the head of the table. The first person, and to my right, was Kris. Then me. Next to me sat Dup, who was followed by Flower, then Tyler.

It all started with Pascal and his salad. Apparently, he doesn't like croutons.. So what does he do? He throws them at Geno. Evgeni picked them up, looked at them for a few moments, shrugged, then whipped them back in the direction he thought they came. The croutons hit Max in the side of his face. He blinked a few times then wiped his face with Jordan's hoodie. When Jordan caught Max, he was horrified. Jordan then proceeded to wipe his greasy fingers all over Max's t-shirt.

I laughed slightly and noticed that nobody else was laughing. Was I the only one witnessing this? I tapped Kris on the shoulder and when he just looked at me, I pointed in the direction of Maxime and Jordan and told him to watch.

Max took the ketchup and drowned his teammate's pasta. Jordan took about five of Max's fries and set them on the end of his fork that was aimed in Maxime's direction. Then he slammed his fist down on the pointy end of the fork. They flew through the air and smacked Alex in the face then fell to his lap. Alex asked who threw the french fries, and without any hesitation at all, both Max and Jordan pointed to Kris. Before Kris had time to react, Alex was already sending his onion rings in our direction.

By this point everyone was well aware of what was happening. And from the looks on their faces, they were all thinking the same thing: food fight. Yeah, you heard me. A food fight right in the middle of TGI Friday's.

Jordan threw his ketchup-y pasta. I tossed spoonfuls of my strawberry smoothie at the boys. Max dipped his fries in whatever sauce he could find then launched them across the table. Billy picked up one noodle at a time, then threw them up in the air, batted them with his palm and kept score every time they hit one of us in the face. I got hit with three of the eighteen that were worthy enough to count. TK and Flower dunked their wings into sauce then sent them flying. After Kris ran out of his shrimp, he threw whatever was sitting around him. Pascal threw all of the toppings that were on his salad first, then the lettuce. One of the tomatoes even exploded in Max's face. It was gross. Alex chucked everyone's food but his. Evgeni threw his onion rings at our straws; it was similar to a game of horseshoes. I didn't even know if they played that back in Russia.. I'll have to ask him someday. And Sid, he innocently sat there covered in food, trying to get us to behave ourselves and act like adults. But I guess he saw so how much fun we were having, so he joined in, throwing the pieces of steak he hadn't yet eaten.

We made a mess until the manager came over and told us to cut it out. Fun sucker. Since these boys were, after all, the Pittsburgh Penguins, we got off relatively easy. The manager told us that we needed to apologize to the people in the restaurant because we 'caused a commotion'. Then we had to clean up our mess and wash the dishes. It really wasn't that bad, actually. Sidney, Geno, Marc-Andre, and Jordan got stuck doing the dishes; we figured it was better they were in the back away from people because they were probably the most recognized out of the team. That left me, Kris, Gramps, Pascal, Maxime, Alex and TK to clean the table and the surrounding area. We did what was asked of us, and it only took us an forty-five minutes or so.

We got our coats, paid the bill, said we were sorry for the millionth time, then left Friday's.

"Who even started the food fight?" Sidney asked as soon as we reached the parking lot. Everyone's head turned left and right to see if the person responsible was going to fess up.

"It was Pascal," I said as I jerked my thumb in his direction.

The guys let out a bunch of 'aw, Dup's' and some 'you asshole's'.

"Thanks for ratting me out, Shane," Pascal said.

"Anytime," I smiled.

"Hey!" Max shouted. "I got an idea!" Almost everyone groaned. I took it that his ideas weren't the best and ended up bad..

"Okay, well, I have Halloween costumes in the back of my car--I don't know why, but they're in there. I think there's four actual costumes, and there might be a pizza box in the back. I'm not too su-"

"Where is this going, Talbot?" a skeptical Jordan interrupted.

"I was thinking that we could all race to my car, and whoever doesn't make it has to wear one of the costumes around the city for two hours."

"Well, I lost already. You're all hockey players, you run like, ten miles a day," I commented.

"Deal, Princess."

"Maybe we'll tie, Gramps. You are getting old, you know."

"I not understand," Geno said.

"Uh..," TK started. "You go to Max's car as slow as you can."

"Oh." Poor Geno. I'd tell him, but that would ruin my chances of making it to Max's car first.

"So we'll start at this tree," Max explained as he pointed to a tree to the left of our group. "Then end up at my car, which is directly across the parking lot."

"You catch that, Geno?" Pascal asked, then received a nod from the Russian.

I turned to Kris. "You want to be nice and let me win?"

"Maybe," he told me.

"Okay. On the count of three," Max ordered. "One, two, three, GO!" he said real fast.

We all took off towards Max's car. Well, some of us did. Geno started to walk at an unbelievably slow pace. I was in front of him, but behind the majority of the guys. I looked up from the pavement and just as I did, I saw Alex push Jordan out of the way and then eventually onto the ground. Jordan tried to reach out and trip Alex, but instead he caught Max, who pulled Kris down along with him. I stopped running because A, I was going to trip over them if I kept going, and B, because I had already lost.

"Hey, Princess!" Billy yelled. "How's it feel to lose?"I rolled eyes and stuck out my hand to help the three boys off the ground.

"Look like we both lost," Kris said.

"Yeah, I guess so. I wonder how bad these costumes could be.."

"Probably bad. It is Max."

"True," I agreed.

"I WIN! I WIN! I WIN!" we heard Geno scream, still at the starting point.

We all laughed and then called him back to Max's car so we could 'claim our prizes'. I couldn't even begin to imagine why Max had the costumes that he had. The more I thought about it, the more I didn't want to know the answer.

Kris and I got pretty lucky, actually. I was Super Woman, and he was Super Man. I was wearing one of those typical girl superhero costumes with the skirt and high boots and tight shirt. Kris had to wear a spandex outfit that looked exactly like Super Man's. It was hilarious. But we did get cool capes and masks. Geno and Jordan didn't get so lucky. They got the Nut and Bolt costume. They fought over who was going to wear which costume--Geno yelling in Russian, and Jordan in English. Evgeni ultimately won and got to the wear the costume with the 'bolt'. It was just a spandex suit, like those things you wear scuba diving, and a bolt that was situated right in front of his hips. Jordan, he was very unhappy. He was also wearing spandex, but instead of there being a bolt, there was a 'nut'. It was this big circle with a hole in the middle in the same exact area as Geno's 'bolt'. Max got to wear the pizza box he had laying around in his car. God knows how long that was there.. Maybe that explains the awful odor I smelled when I got in his car today. Anyway, we managed to cut out the center of the pizza box and stick Max through it. After much debate, the guys decided to let him keep his shirt and tighty whities on so he wouldn't terrorize little kids.

The 'winners' got in the nice and cozy SUV so they could follow us around, while us 'losers' got to roam the cold and snowy streets of Pittsburgh for the next two hours. How freaking great.

"You have fun out there," Marc smirked.

"We'll be watching you," TK added. Creeper.

We decided that it was best if we stuck together and share our body heat. It wasn't below freezing, but it was still pretty damn cold.

After about forty-five minutes, I was really starting to feel the effects. I pulled my cape around me and everything, but it didn't help. I wrapped my arms around Kris and he wrapped his around me, rubbing his hands along my bare arms.

"I'm s-so cold," I stated.

"Me, too. 'ey, they never said anyt'ing about n-not getting somet'ing to wear."

"You're right," I said, hugging him a little tighter. "We could b-buy clothes and stick them under our c-costumes."

"I do not 'ave money with me," he frowned. "These suit do not come with pocket."

"I do," Jordan piped up.

I turned my head back to look at him and immediately laughed. Geno and him were walking down the sidewalk, sideways and hugging. It wouldn't be such a big deal if they weren't wearing the Nut and Bolt costume. Pickin' up what I'm puttin' down?

"Shut up," Jordan told me. I laughed some more then turned back around.

"Where do you think they are?" I asked Kris, referring to the 'winners'.

"I 'ave no idea. I 'ave not seen them in a while."

"Hey, guys," Jorddan grabbed our attention "American Eagle's right around the corner. We could buy warm clothes there, then put these fucking costumes back on."

"Dude, my balls are so fucking cold right now!" Max yelled.

"Suck it up. You're the one who thought of this brilliant fucking idea," Jordan growled.

"Hey, fuck you," Max replied.

"Shut up," Geno said. "We here."

I looked to my right and sure enough, there stood American Eagle. "Thank God," I said as I shivered.

We walked into the store and automatically earned funny looks. I don't blame them, though. I mean, who wears Halloween costumes plus a pizza box in December? Nobody.

"Find something to wear, then meet back here in five, and we'll check out," Jordan told us.

"Break on three," Max said putting his hand in the center of us. We all ignored him and walked away.

I was busy looking for the right size long sleeve shirt when the 'winners' walked in. I ducked down and hit my head off one of the tables and mumbled some profanities. I cautiously made my way to the back of the store and grabbed some pajama pants then changed into the shirt and pants in one of the fitting rooms. I stuck my Super Woman costume back on and peeked around the corner. I saw the 'losers' walking towards the front of the store where the 'winners' were looking at jeans. I took off from where I was standing and got to Kris, Geno, Max, and Jordan in enough time. I told them that the others had just walked in, and Geno's face was priceless; he looked so scared.

We didn't have an issue checking out because Geno hid behind tables and racks to see if they were coming so he could warn us. But he must've thought his job was over while we attempted to walk out the door because Gramps spotted us.

"Don't tell," I mouthed to him. He nodded his head in agreement.

"The 'losers' just bought clothes and they're leaving now," I heard him say to the group. So much for going along with our little plan, Gramps.

The five us booked it out of there, and we weren't exactly sure where we ended up. We sat down on the curb and people-watched for a bit--except there was probably only eleven people who passed us in a span of two hours. We spent most of those two hours laughing at Max, who was singing and dancing up and down the sidewalk in his pizza box. It was definitely a sight to see.

I heard a car horn beep a few times, and I looked up. The 'winners' were sitting in Max's car smirking at us.

"Get in," TK commanded.

"When we get back, you want to come to my place for a while?" Kris asked me as we climbed into the car.

"Yeah, sure," I replied with a smile.

While we were driving back, Billy informed us that he video taped us the whole entire time and said he was going to give it to Dan Potash to show the viewers during one of the intermissions. I really, really hoped he was kidding.