Your Hand In Mine

- Kris -

That fucking asshole!

He did this. He was the whole reason why Shane had just walk away from me. He thought he would be funny and give me a fucking tally at morning skate. I wanted to beat the shit out of him.

I did not think much of it because I knew he did it on purpose and it gave the guy something to laugh about. It got old after five minute, though, and I told him to wipe it off. Then I remember I laced up my skate and grab my stick then walk out of the room, thinking he would erase it. I can not believe how much of an idiot I was. Now, Shane though that I cheated on her while I was gone for the past week. And it was all because of Max. I would never cheat on her, it was just not the person I was. I only wanted her and I would have wait as long as it would have took.

Shane alway stuck around and came out with us or went back to one of the guy's place if that is what we all decided on. But tonight, she did not. When she suddenly left the locker room, I knew something was wrong.

It killed me that she did not believe me anymore, that I was not like all the guy. I am not like all the other guy. She knew that, or at least I thought she did. A single tear even rolled down my cheek when she said we were done. When she tore her arm away from me and walk out of my life, that is what really broke my heart, though. I realized right there, in the middle of the parking lot as I watch her, that I had a very good chance of never being with her, or even seeing her again.

When Shane told me that I was the one that cause of all the tear, I felt horrible, yet I did not even know what I did. That was, until she told me she saw the tally. She barely let me get a full sentence out before she deny that I love her. I had to cut her off and stop her so she could hear what I had to say, but she just look away from me. It hurt, bad. It is never easy seeing someone you care so much about not even being able to stand the sight of you. Then she started to yell.. I just hung my head.

I knew her, though. And because I knew her, I knew that she already had her mind made up. She alway did when it came to serious thing. And this, it was definitely serious. The words "we're done" kept playing over and over again in my head. It was like that song that irritate you the most that kept playing on every station of the radio. I could not chase after her, either. I tried, but my feet would not move. It was like I was nailed in place, right to the parking lot.

The one girl I ever truly loved--still love and will alway love--was the first girl to break my heart into two. And it all came down to Max. Max and the asshole he will alway be.

I let out a grunt/growl and punched the concrete wall in frustration. I am not going to lie, when my fist collide with the wall, it hurt. But that was nothing compare to what I had experience a few minute ago, nothing at all.

With my jaw locked, I angrily push open the door to the Mellon and found Max laughing it up with Flower. Marc-André alway knew when something was wrong with me me; he read me like a book. Max on the other hand, he could not understand shit. Usually, he just made it worse.

"Kris?" Marc-André ask, somewhat shock at my expression as he stop laughing and turn serious. "Where the hell did you go?" he ask, concerned. It was then that he notice the girl that was usually by my side, was not there. "Where's Shane?" he ask me as he turned his head slightly, urging me to answer him.

I did not look at him, I glare right at Max. Marc-André took the hint--even though he did not know the exact reason why I was fuming--and turn around and left me and Max alone.

"You son of a bitch!" I yelled as I storm over to him and grab him by the collar. I pushed him up against the wall and grit my teeth together. He look.. almost scared and shock at the same time. I could understand why, though; I rarely got angry with anyone, and I was not one to fight.

"I told you to erase that fucking tally," I said through my teeth. He smirk. That fucking bastard smirk!

I stared dead center into his eye. It took everything in me not to bash his head against the wall or bust his nose--even if he was one of my best friend. I finally let go of him and took a little step away from him. I was not going to beat up someone that I cared about. It would just make me feel worse.

"What's your problem?" he ask me, a certain tone to his voice.

"My problem?" I yell. "My problem is that because you didn't get rid of the fucking tally and because you even drew it in the first place, Shane left me. She fucking saw the tally, Max! The tally you fucking drew! She thinks I fucked someone while we were on the road trip. And it's all your fucking fault!"

"Oh, calm down, Tanger. I'm sure she's just PMS-ing or something."

"Are you fucking kidding me!? It's because of you that I just lost the girl I love! She's everything thing to me! And the best you can come up with to say to me is that she's fucking PMS-ing? You're a fucking dick." I was pissed, beyond pissed. My best friend could not even offer me an apology. Not even one little "I'm sorry."

I look at him again. His face was blank and he just stood there, back against the wall. I shook my head in disgust and start to walk back to the locker room.

"Kris," he call, starting to catch up to me.

"What?" I spat at him as I turned around and glare.

"Look," he sigh. "I'm sorry, for everything. I should have erased of it like you asked me to, but I thought it was just all fun and games. I just wanted to make the guys laugh. I didn't mean for this to happen, I swear. If I wanted you two to break up, I would have done it in a way knowing full well what I was doing. If you want..," he said, letting out a breath. "If you want me to talk to her or anything.. try to explain that I did it as a joke and you didn't really fuck someone behind her back?" He told me, not really making sense, but I understood what he was trying to get out.

"No," I said sternly before turning away from him and opening the locker room door.

Max threw his hand out and slam the door shut, keeping us on the outside. "I know you probably don't believe me, but I really am sorry. I know what you look like and how you act when things like this happen, and I would never intentionally make you feel like that."

I stopped staring at the giant Penguins logo on the door and look at him. What I saw in his eye was something you rarely see when it come to Max. He was truly sorry, and you could tell he felt responsible for the end of my relationship with Shane. And the sad part was.. he should, he should be feeling that. I barely gave him a small smile and a nod of my head in return. Technically, it was all Max's fault, but I could have at least check to see if he erase it, but I did not. There was no way Max would have been able to tell the outcome of erasing or not erasing the tally, either. I was not ready to forgive him yet, not even close, but someday I would.

He moved his hand away from the door and I push it open. When I walk in there were only four guy left--Sidney, Geno, Staalsy, and Marc-André. All of them were staring wide eye at me and Max. Nobody spoke. I assumed that they all heard us yelling. They might not know much French, but they sure as hell knew something happen between us.

I moved my eye away from the guy and land them on my stuff, which was sitting under my name in my stall. I walked over to my area, grab my shit, and left, not bothering to say goodbye or tell them good game. They did not say anything to me, either; they just watch me walk out.

Things did not get any better when I got to my car and turned on the radio, either. Bad Romance, a song that both Shane and I sang every time it came on, was blaring through the speaker. I reached for the knob to change the station, and the same fucking song was playing on that station, too. What the fuck.. I could not catch a fucking break, could I? I turned off the radio and sat back in my seat. I look in the rear view mirror; I was a mess, and it was my best friend's fault.

I pulled out of the parking space, and stop in front of the fan that were waiting for autographs. I forced a smile on my face as I got out of my car and walk over to them. I grabbed Sharpie after Sharpie and sign whatever they hand me. I talked to a few of the fan while I scribble my signature then move on to the next person. Some of them wanted a picture with me, and as much as I did not want to stand there and smile, I did it anyway.

When I signed something for every fan, I got back in my car and drove the familiar street back home. By the time I walk into my apartment, it was just past midnight.

I knew I was probably wasting my time, but I did it anyway. I had to.

"Hey, this is Shane. Leave me a message, or don't. But do me a favor, don't text me, it's gay." I let out a small laugh.. She was a little too obsessed with The Hangover. And then I felt a little sad; I was sitting next to her when she record this, it was right after the movie ended. I might not ever have the chance to sit next to her again.

"Alo'a," I said softly, my voice cracking. "I know..," I sigh. "I know that you probably do not want to 'ear from me, but I need to talk to you," I pause. "I just want you to know that I did not cheat on you, and that I would never cheat on you. I can not even think about doing that to you, you mean too much to me. Even though you might think that I am just like every other guy, I am not. I would not lie to you about that, I would not lie to you ever. Max drew in that tally as a joke because I planned on keeping that spot blank until you were ready. And if you think I am upset or mad about you not being ready.. I am not, I promise. I am so sorry that you are 'urting. If I could make it so you would not 'ave to feel that pain, I would," I said into the phone then let out a deep breath. "Call me back, please. I do not want this to be the end of us. Je t'aime, Shane," I finished then press the 'End' button.

I threw my phone at my bed and change out of my suit. When I came back, I check my phone, hoping she would have called me back. There was nothing.

I paced around my bedroom for a minute or so then walk over to my window and place my hand on the bottom of it, looking out to the city. Except for hoping my phone would ring as every second pass, my mind was blank. Five minute went by, and I could not take it. I grabbed my phone and call her again, and again, and again.

"S'il tu plaît.. please, pick up the phone," I begged after only my sixth call.

I called her seven more time, hoping she would pick up. She didn't.

I finally laid back on my bed, making sure my phone was right next to my ear, before I fell asleep with a few tear stained on my cheek.