Your Hand In Mine

"So, I'm thinking that these would be perfect for your bachelorette party tonight," I smirked, a handful of penis lollipops in my hand.

"Aw, no. My mom's coming! And my gramma! I can't have dicks on sticks," she said, laughing anyway.

"Oh, come on. It'll be funny. Imagine your gramma becoming addicted to them. Tell me that wouldn't be hilarious..," I told her. "She'd go back to her nursing home and hand them out to all her friends."

I watched her face, knowing that she was picturing what I had just said. "Fine, you can get them," she huffed.

"Thank you, thank you, thank you!" I sang as I gave her a hug.

"Do I get a stripper?" she asked after unwrapping her arms from me, pushing the buggy further down the aisle.

"Do you want one?" I asked. "Or two? Or three? I'm pretty sure it's not a bachelorette party if you don't have at least one."

"Yeah, but my gramma wanted to come to this.. said she wanted to feel young again. I don't know."

"In that case..," I said with a slight smirk, wiggling my eyebrows.

"You sick freak!"

"Hey," I said, raising my arms so it seemed like I was surrendering, "it's not like you're disagreeing that your ninety-some year old grandmother can't have her own personal stripper for a night."

"None for gramma, okay?" she told me.

"Well, that's no f-"

"I'll have hers," she winked

I gave my head a nod before I noticed a dick-shaped cake pan on a shelf. "How do you feel about a cake in the shape of a dick?"

"You can make it as long as you put pretty sprinkles on it," she joked, taking it off the shelf and tossing it in the buggy.

"Oh, don't you worry."

"Who's paying for all the shit?" she asked.

"I am," I told her. "You're not supposed to be paying, your bridal party is. But, uh, they're not exactly here," I informed her, motioning to the area around us.

"I didn't really want them helping. I don't exactly get along with some of them, especially Grace."

"If I were her I'd probably hate you for switching the bottles of hair dye, too. Nobody wants bright purple hair." In case you hadn't caught on before, Lex doesn't have very many friends. She could barely get along with her family, let alone be nice to people that weren't related to her. She was that snotty bitch that you secretly wished fell off a cliff. She grew out of that, though, kind of. And I was one of the few that stuck around long enough to see the good in her. Sure, she was still a bitch, but she my was best friend.

"It was an accident," Alexa replied as she gave me a look that said it really wasn't an accident.

"Yup, I'd hate you. Did you two ever make up?" I asked, pushing the buggy around the corner and down another aisle.

"Um, sort of. We hadn't seen each other for a few years and only the tips for were purple the last time I saw her.. she sort of let the whole thing go and kind of forgave me, I think."

"Oh, well, uh.. That's great news?" I said. "So, when I went to Ashley's bachelorette party, we made her a 'Suck for a Buck' shirt. I'm making you one when I get home--except I'm gonna write '$5 Zone' on the chest of the shirt. Then I'm sticking Blow Pops all over it." I felt bad as soon as I brought up Ash; I hadn't talked to her since I left in the middle of the night. But the whole idea of watching Lex wear that shirt around a bar, it made me feel a little better.

"Oh my God," she laughed. "You're kidding, right?"

"Nope," I smirked.

We were silent for a few minutes, just looking at all the strange stuff on the shelves and racks around the store.

"Hey, did you ever go to talk to Kris?" she asked. I looked away from her, finding the floor more interesting. My mouth was opened so I could explain, but nothing came out. I heard her sigh. "Why? she asked me.

I ran a hand through my hair, shrugging. "I wanted to, really, I did. I tried to go to his place a few days ago. But I just couldn't. I-I'm scared of what could happen," I whispered.

"Aren't you scared of what could happen if you don't go, though?"

"Yeah," I nodded. "But I'm more scared to go over there."

"Didn't you listen to anything the guys or I said? He's lonely, not himself.. He just wants you back, Shane."

"How do I know that's the truth?" I asked.

"How do you know it's not?" she said.

I looked at her for a moment before shaking my head. "I don't," I whispered. "I have no idea if it's one or the other. And that's what scares me."

~!@#$%^&*()_+

There were two lists, one for each group of girls that were going to Lex's party tonight. We, including her gramma and mom and cousins, had met up earlier at a small club. Her grandma wasn't addicted to the penis lollipops. At least, at first she wasn't. As time went on, though, she always had one in her hand. And when she asked Alexa where she got them from, all Lex did was send me a look. I cracked up. And before she could let her gramma know where we found them, she was surrounded by five strippers. They carried her up on the stage, and to my surprise, she actually started dancing with them, in front of her mother. If you would have seen the look on Sharon's face when she saw her daughter grinding, oh, you would have died.

Anyway, back to the lists. Actually, it was more like a scavenger hunt if you thought about it. But you and your group had to find as many things as you could on the list in one hour then meet back at a bar on the South Side. And if you didn't know what the bride or groom's favorite whatever was, you couldn't ask them; you just had to guess and hope you were right.

LIST #1
5 points
- A box of cherry flavored condoms
- A box of Altoids
- A cucumber
- A can of the groom's favorite beer or soft drink
- Sunscreen
- A single man's business card
- A Happy Meal toy
- A Fortune Cookie fortune
- A copy of the bridal registry
10 points
- A restaurant menu from where the engaged couple had their first meal
- A centerfold picture of a celebrity
- A whip
- A pair of handcuffs
- A policeman's hat
- A penny from the groom's year of birth
- A casino poker chip
25 points
- A pair of the groom's underwear
- A street sign from where the bride and groom will live/are living
- A picture of the bride as a baby or very little girl
- A viagra pill

LIST #2
5 points
- A copy of Playgirl Magazine
- A Plunger
- A Beef Jerky or Slim Jim
- A temporary tattoo
- A magnifying glass and tweezers
- A Slurpee cup (empty)
- A pair of pantyhose
- A sex quiz from Cosmo a woman's magazine
- A baby bottle
10 points
- A wig
- A witch's hat
- A deck of nude male playing cards
- Any item of clothing with a cigarette brand/logo on it
- A penny from the bride's year of birth
- A pen or magnet with the bride's name on it
- An expired driver's license
25 points
- A picture of the groom as a baby or very little boy
- A lava lamp
- A male stripper's G-String
- An X rated video

Out of two-hundred fifteen total points, the group I was in--Alexa and some of her cousins--otherwise known as "Lady and the Tramps", got a hundred-fifty. Turns out LIST #2 wasn't so bad after all; we won, only by twenty points, though.

After we added up our totals in front of the bar where we met up at, we went inside, which brings us to Lex's 'Suck for a Buck' shirt.

"Hey, baby! How about I give yoouuu ten buckkss and get twooo licksss!" some guy slurred, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand before downing another shot. Lexa's face, she was disgusted. But she took his money anyway. She probably already had a hundred bucks and she'd only been wearing it for a half an hour. I guess it didn't help that I took a pair of scissors and made a slit from the collar to the middle of the chest area, either.

He handed her his ten dollars then he moved his face closer to her chest. He put his lips around a Blow Pop and started twirling his tongue around it, trying to be all seductive and shit. It was flat out nasty. I just laughed, thanking God that I wasn't the one wearing that shirt. Then he moved on to another lollipop, but this time he ripped it off of her shirt. He moved even closer to Lex then whispered something in her ear, still sucking on the lollipop. She gave her head a nod then a smirk appeared on her lips. Next thing I knew, her hands where on his shoulders and her foot was at his crotch. The guy fell to the ground as the bar erupted in "Ooooh's." It was hilarious.

She smirked again and grabbed a shot. She was sure as hell on her way to being completely wasted. After slamming the empty glass on the bar, she made her way over to me, grabbing my hands.

"Time for Karaoke, babe."

We got on top of an empty table and started singing into the microphone, trying to catch all the words to Girls Just Want to Have Fun, but failed miserably. Truth was, that was the most fun I had had in a while..