Your Hand In Mine

He was sitting on the same swing as he was when we had first met. He was looking at the ground, like he mostly did, and rocking his feet back and forth against the mulch, barely moving. His iPod was sitting on his lap while his headphones were in his ears as he hummed along to whatever song was on. The black Pirates hat that he never left his apartment without, was turned backwards like it normally was. I watched him pull out his phone from his pocket before he dialed a phone number and held it up to his ear, his eyes still on the ground.

"So close, no matter how far. Couldn't be much more from the heart. Forever trusting who we are, and nothing else matters-" came from my phone. I looked down at it, reading the name of the person who was calling.

Kristopher.

That's when he looked up. At first, shock and confusion appeared on his face, but then pure happiness set in as the realization that I was actually standing seven feet away hit him.

I hit the little green phone button and held it up to my ear.

"Alo'a," he whispered into the phone, a small smile on his face.

I returned his smile. "Aloha," I laughed before hanging up as I moved to sit on the swing beside him.

"That is my favorite band, you know--Metallica," he said, pointing to my phone. God, did I miss hearing his voice.

"I know. My brother set it as my ringtone a long time ago," I informed him.

"I am sorry about him," Kris frowned. "I 'ope you are okay, I know 'ow 'ard it is."

"Thanks," I told him. "And I'm okay, I guess. I don't cry so much, anymore."

"I am glad," he smiled.

"What are you doing here?" I asked him, curious. "I thought you were supposed to be back home in Montreal."

"I-I came back for a few day. I miss being around all the place that remind me of you," he replied shyly. It really was true, he did miss me.. "'ow come you are 'ere?" he asked.

"It's just where I ended up," I shrugged, looking up to the sky. "What're you listening to?"

I saw him hold out his hand to me. "Your 'and in Mine."

I dropped my head so I could look at him, my heart skipping a beat as a few tears welled up in my eyes. "Me too," I whispered, slipping my hand into his. "Kris..," I said after a moment or two.

"Oui?" he whispered, moving his fingers in between mine.

"I'm so sorry, for everything," I told him, looking down at our hands. "I should have believed you. And.. God," I shook my head. "I should have known that it was just a stupid joke and that you would never do anything like that. And then Josh passed away, and I just, I just fell apart even more. I-I walked out on my family and went to a beach in Delaware by myself. And all I did was look at the note you gave me, even though I didn't want to think about anything at all."

"I told you I would alway be 'ere for you," he recited, squeezing my hand.

I choked out a few tears and dropped my head as I slowly nodded. "I wish I would have believed that then," I said. "But when I finally realized that the tally was fake, I couldn't bring myself to face you. I wanted to, I wanted to so bad. But I was just so terrified of what you would do, how you would react, even though the guys told me that you wanted me back more than anything else. And then Alexa got married, and I was so envious of their love.."

"Were you ever going to find me?" he asked, taking in everything I had told him before changing the subject a little bit.

"As soon as the season started. I was going to stand in the crowd and hand you Jorge and have you sign him and hope that you knew it was me," I answered. "What about you? Were you going to find me?"

"I was staring at the wall for 'our last night, and then my mom came down. She was the one who 'elp me open my eye and get on the first flight back to Pittsburgh. I came 'ere 'oping that it would 'elp me find you," Kris told me. "And it did," he smiled. "I don't know 'ow much longer I could 'ave been apart from you.."

I smiled, looking up at the man who had my heart. "Me either," I whispered.

"Question number twenty," he began, offering me a small smile. I gave him a little grin as well, thinking back to all the questions he had asked me since the time I had met him on this exact swing.

1. "Do you mind if I walk you back to your place? I would understand if you did not want me to, though."
"Sure. I could use some company."
Yeah.. I'm really glad I said yes.

2. "So, what is your favorite color?"
"My favorite color's green."
It's still green, although black and gold has managed to make its way into my heart since then.

3. "Okay, see that guy across the street? Would you go over there and ask 'im if 'e would show you 'is sock?"
"Sure! Hang on. I'll be back."
I almost laughed out loud. It was one of the strangest questions I had ever been asked.

4. "'ow many box of cereal do you currently 'ave in your kitchen?"
"I have seven. Captain Crunch--best cereal ever invented. Don't even try to tell me it's not, because it is. I also have Lucky Charms, Cocoa Pebbles, Fruit Loops, Frosted Flakes, Cinnamon Toast Crunch, and Apple Jacks."
I only have one now. Cookie Crisp, Kris' favorite. It was the only cereal I would eat since we had been apart. I threw all of the other one's out.

5. "What do you usually order at McDonald's?"
"I don't really go there except in March when they have Shamrock Shakes. Those things are the best. But if it's not March, I usually order a happy meal. Cheeseburger, not chicken nuggets. Oh! I go when I win a free BigMac at your games if you score in a certain two minutes, too."
I got eleven Shamrock Shakes back in March, thinking of Kris every time I got one. And I hadn't gotten a single free BigMac because I hadn't gone to a game since February second.

6. "On a scale of one to fifty-eight, 'ow messy is your room?"
"Oh. Jeesh. Um, eleven? No, definitely twenty-five. Or it could be twenty-nine. Nope. I'm gonna have to go with forty-eight."
Definitely fifty-eight.

7. "Will you come to my game tomorrow? It is against the Devil. And I will get you two ticket and locker room pass."
"I'm in."
I was still in. If he asked me to go to another game, I'd go in a heartbeat.

8. "Would you like to do something tomorrow?"
"Yeah, I'd love to."
I'd still love to.

9. "What do you want to do before you die?"
"I've asked myself that a lot actually. I wanna find someone who loves me just as much as I love them, watch my kids grow up, skydive, tell off Ovechkin, beat up a Flyer fan, travel the world, send a message in a bottle, make a difference in someone's life, learn sign language, and find Waldo."
I already found someone who loves me just as much as I love them. He was the guy who made it possible for me to send a message in a bottle.

10. "Do you want to go to dinner with me when I get back from Buffalo?"
"Like a date?"
"Yeah, like a date."
"Sure."
That date was amazing.

11. "If you 'ad a turtle, what would you name it?"
"Uh, Speedy."
I would still name him Speedy, just because.

12. "'ow come glue never stick to the inside of the bottle?"
"Huh. I have absolutely no idea. Maybe there's a special coating on the inside or something?"
Still clueless.

13. "Why do they call it rush 'our when car are moving the slowest?"
"Because everyone is in a rush to get somewhere, but people suck at driving so they move slow, especially in Pittsburgh? Seriously, how hard is it to drive through a tunnel?"
Yeah, traffic's a bitch.

14. "What day of the week do you 'ate most?"
"Probably Tuesday."
"ow come?"
"I'm not too sure, actually. Nothing really ever happens on Tuesdays, I guess."
Tuesday still sucks.

15. "What is the funniest name you 'ave ever 'eard of?"
"You're going to think I'm making this up, but I swear, I'm not."
Shithead's still the funniest name I've ever heard of.

16. "Where did you go the first time you were on a plane?"
"Ah, jeesh. I wanna say Michigan. I have some family up there, so we went to visit them. I was probably only five or six, maybe."
That was right. I went to Detroit.

17. What are you afraid to lose the most? Yoda? Jorge, the flamingo?
You.
I never wanted to lose him again.

18. What brand of toothbrush do you use?
I don't know. I have a cool orange Crayola crayon toothbrush.
That toothbrush still brushes my teeth.

19. If you could know the exact day that you were going to die, would you want to know?
Absolutely not. It's not that I'm scared, because I know everyone dies eventually, but I think I'd live my life in a rush. I'd want to do everything I've ever dreamed of doing, and I'd probably be so busy making sure I did it all, that life would pass me by. And then all of a sudden, I'd have one more day until my life came to an end.
Still true.

"Do you still love me?" he breathed.

"Yes," I whispered, looking into his deep, brown eyes.

That stupid, crooked grin of his that I loved and missed so much made its way onto his face, and I noticed for the first time that there was a small gap between his two front teeth. "Je t'aime, aussi," he said as he stood up, our fingers still laced. Tears fell from my eyes as I smiled up at him.

After letting go of my hand, he placed both of his hands on the chains that held the swing I was sitting on, then bent down and softly kissed my lips. I kissed him back, closing my eyes as I stood up and wrapped my arms around his neck while his hands found my waist. We broke apart after a few seconds, and I stood there in his arms, missing the way he made me feel so safe and so warm while I breathed in his scent.

"First one to the slide win?" he asked after hugging me for a minute or so. "Loser 'as to buy the winner..," he drifted off, trying to think of a prize. "Ice cream!" He could be such a little kid sometimes. But then again, so could I. And that's one of the reasons why we were perfect for each other.

"Deal. On your mark, get set, go!" I shouted real fast, getting a head start on Kris. At least I had a fighting chance this way as opposed to us starting at the same time. Of course, he was going to be faster than me, he played hockey--which explains why it didn't take him long to reach me and ultimately tackle me to the ground. I laughed, trying to wiggle myself out of his arms, even though I wanted nothing more than to lay there with him, forever.

"You cheated," he remarked.

"You're faster than me, it's only fair," I pointed out. He gave me a fake frown. "What? Are you gonna make me sit in the box for two minutes? Because like it or not, you just lost," I smirked, reaching up and touching the metal slide.

"Dammit!" he yelled, laughing nonetheless.

"I like twists with rainbow sprinkles-"

"In a cone, I know," he smiled, rolling his eyes as helped me up from the ground. "Let's go get some ice cream," Kris said.

"Okay," I whispered, just glad that I had him back. His hand found mine, and we intertwined our fingers together as we walked hand in hand out of the park and into the sunset.

That night.. Kristopher had one tally.