Over and Done

I try to make an effort to go out more, so that Katie doesn’t report back to Tom. I stay out late and don’t get much sleep. Katie and I are drunk a lot in the weeks following Tom’s initial visit. We go to the club. We go dancing, boys buy us drinks and I wake up with terrible hangovers. But it’s not so bad. Because at least I don’t spend my mornings and evenings brooding alone in my room. I guess it’s better to be drunk than desolate.

I call Tom twice a day usually and he takes the train down from Sheffield almost twice a week. Sometimes Evie comes with him and we all hang out. Katie doesn’t like Evie much but I’m not exactly sure why. I ask her and she tells me that she doesn’t trust anyone without tattoos. Evie has none. I don’t laugh at Katie when she says this, because I know she means it, in a sick Katie sort of way. I don’t mind Evie, I never have. She’s been Tom’s other girl for almost two years now, on and off, back and forth. She drives Tom mental most days and sometimes he complains. But when I see him give her weary smiles I know that somewhere in him, there is real love for her. And this is good. To hell with what Katie says.

Katie doesn’t seem as worried about me as before, but she still asks how I am more than she should. Tom’s the same. Asking just a few too many questions. But he doesn’t mention Oli anymore. It’s a rough subject for us. He’s convinced of one thing and I am convinced of another. I have a feeling that if we brought the topic up, something catastrophic would happen, or something I’m not ready for. I’m not ready for anything.
--

Tom convinced me to get on the train and go to Manchester for a Bring Me The Horizon gig. I’d already planned on going to the Brum show the following day, but Tom was insistent, saying that if I didn’t have to work, what reason did I have for not going.

Of course I didn’t tell him that I had a good reason. The reason being that the elder Sykes had proclaimed us ‘over and done’ and I was petrified to see him. I was still very much wounded by Oli. It was something about pride or something about loss, something about something.

But I thought about it all and was pretty sure it was childish to avoid him forever. We weren’t even on bad terms. I’d been foolish to expect some grand goodbye from him anyway. A wondrous kiss and love proclamation instead of a scribbled note telling me not to care about other’s opinions. I had wished for the whimsical and had been promptly shot down.

However, I sucked it up because Tom had been so adamant about my going to Manchester, and saying no to him was impossible. He did so much for me that it would be bratty to ignore any appeal of his. So I focused on the fact that my presence was at Tom’s request. If I thought of only him, I didn’t have to think about his older counterpart.

And this is why I was slightly upset when there was no one to pick me up from the train station. “Tom!” I shrieked into the phone. “Yeh forgot about me.”

“I didn’t forget yeh.”

“Well yeh not ere.”

“Someone’s on their way.”

“Someone? Yeh not comin?”

“I’m a bit tied up right now. Sorry.”

Naturally, I wasn’t angry with him as it was against the laws of the universe. “It’s okay. Who’s comin instead?”

There was a long pause, some rustling sounds and then he said “Fuck, I gotta go. See yeh soon.”

“Tom, wait—“ But he’d already hung up and I stared at my phone, upset and unbelieving. Something was going on and I hadn’t received the memo on exactly what it was. I assumed that Tom would be sending his father or mother to come for me then and I didn’t mind this, though I wished he wouldn’t have been so cryptic.

Properly sulking, I took a seat on a bench in the open, as to be seen by whoever was coming to my rescue. A variety of people walked past poor old me as they tried to make their train, and very few of them even glanced in my direction. I always felt able to disappear in crowds, unremarkable. The only time I ever felt honestly seen was when I stood next to Tom, Gracie or Katie. And I was only noticed because of my association with them, these extraordinary people. All of them beautiful and interesting. I was only great when bathed in their light. On my own, I was just a girl—with ratty rust colored hair and a terrible overbite—sitting in a random train station, wishing to be something else.

“Uh, sorry I’m late.” The voice was like rain, familiar and carrying with it a very cold shiver. I hadn’t even seen him approach, as I’d been too absorbed in self-deprecation.

“Oli?”

“Yeh’ve not been waitin long, ave yeh?” He said, while my head crooked to the side, staring up at him with narrowed eyes.

“No, not long.” I stood up, slipping my bag over my shoulder and rubbing my hands together.

His eyes caught sight of my hands working rhythmically against each other and he said “Yeh didn’t know I was comin to get yeh, did yeh?”

I shook my head. “No. I didn’t.”

“Right, that’s why Tom were actin like a sketch arsehole.”

“Tom sent yeh?” There were ties being connected in my head, piecing a puzzle together. This was starting to seem like a plot.

“Aye, e said… Nevermind. Yeh ready to go then?”

“Sure.” So we started off, walking side by side, with several feet to separate us. This was all very sudden and a little unnerving. I wished I’d been warned. I could have taken a minute to collect my thoughts; I could have put myself together better. “Yeh don’t ‘ve a signin or press or somethin?”

“Later… Figured I could take a few minutes outta the busy schedule for yeh.” His demeanor was pleasant, in good humor. He seemed to have worked out the puzzle as well. I was glad for it. At least we were on the same humiliating page.

“Thanks, I appreciate it.”

“No problem.” He smiled. A discrete smile, not obvious, but I was hyper-observant, looking for signs of contention between us. There seemed to be none, and for this I was unbearably relieved. I’d been worried and fretful for little reason.

As we got into Oli’s car, a flashy sort of vehicle that was utterly him, I had a strange notion that maybe we could be friends. Oli and Sav, mates. It was more than strange, it was unheard of. We had never exactly been friends. Not in any traditional sense. There was the one summer where he was my best friend, but he’d also been something a little more. So it didn’t count. And I’d pretty much convinced myself that the summer of my sixteenth year counted for very little. There were other epic summers to consider ahead of it.

“New ink,” he said while pulling out onto the road.

“What?”

He pointed to the words at my wrists, ‘fever’ on the left and ‘focus’ on the right. “Yeh’ve new tattoos.”

“Oh, aye… yeh mate did em.” I traced my fingers over one of the almost fully healed tattoos. I loved the way they looked and the way my parents were sure to scoff at them.

“James?” Oli asked.

“Mmhmm.”

“Yeh talked to him then?” Oli turned his head towards me, very curious and a little surprised.

“Well, yeah, e did these, didn’t e?”

“No, I mean, yeh talked to ‘im about workin in ‘is shop?”

“Oh, uh, yeah… E didn’t tell yeh?” I just assumed the message had been relayed from James to Oli, or from Tom to Oli, that I had undertaken the task of apprenticeship, just as Oli had suggested at our last meeting. Though admittedly, it wasn’t something I had wanted Oli to hear about. Knowing he’d had some effect on me would only empower him.

“I’ve not spoke to ‘im since ‘ve been back.”

“Right. Well, uh, we’ve talked an stuff about, yeh know, stuff.” I felt awkward telling him this, as it was all still very tentative and maybe even temporary. “Since I’m pretty busy, I go in there on the weekends. I like James… e’s way cool. But I mostly jus practice tracin things and sweep the floors. Shop bitch, yeh know.”

“Yeh gotta start somewhere.”

“That’s what e said…”

“I’m really glad yeh doin it.”

I looked at my precisely painted nails and not at him. “Me too.”

“But yeh still doin the law thing?”

“Yeah, it’d be stupid to jus quit before I’m even sure what I want to do. I mean, what ef I’m complete shit at tattoos. I need a fallback.” But I was already beginning to doubt that I would ever be a solicitor. I didn’t even want that to be my fallback. The idea seemed positively miserable to me.

“Yeh won’t be shit. Yeh’ll be good, I know it.”

Something in the way he said this, as though he truly believed in me, made my cheeks heat with blood and I tried to hide behind my hair, afraid that he would see. Hiding only drew his attention.

“I’ve made yeh blush,” he said, haughty pride in his voice. He liked that he could get under my skin. Maybe he’d anticipated this. “Yeh blushin.”

“What? No, I’m not” I tried to deny it, but he was smirking and I’d been caught.

“Yeh are. I made yeh blush.” He was pleased with this.

“Shut up,” I hissed, a half-smile emerging on the ever-serious mouth.

He just looked ahead at the road, bright with some sort of satisfaction, and I knew we wouldn’t ever just be friends.

--

Tom had his camera in hand when I climbed out of Oli’s car. We’d arrived just in time, as our pleasant conversation was starting to dwindle and awkwardness was beginning to descend. We climbed out of the car, I more quickly than he, and I made no attempt to look at him. But I wouldn’t doubt that I knew the expression on his face. Tom was surely wearing the same expression, grinning and very pleased with himself. I often forgot how alike they were. It was only when Tom proved cunning and cute that I likened him to his brother, though Tom hadn’t ever struck me as devious.

But when he put his camera up and flashed one picture at me, I knew that he was mastering the art of Anna deception. And when he flashed a second picture of me, I put two middle fingers in the air for him. I stuck my tongue out when he reached for a hug.

Tom wrapped himself around me, whispering “Yeh ain’t even angry.”

There wasn’t anything I could say in response, as Oli was just beside us then. Taking the opportunity to follow through on what I had been unable to do, Oli punched his brother in the arm, earning a wince from Tom. “Yeh a fuckin sod, hope yeh know,” Oli said, but he wasn’t angry either.

And I was very startled by this arrangement. Oli, Tom and Anna had never occupied the same air so comfortably before. By design and tradition, we were not a trio; we did not function as such. But I liked the idea very much. What if I could have them both? The dream in my selfish mind realized. The dying hope of a sixteen year old, that had been broken and hidden. It wasn’t as hard as it seemed so long ago. This could be easy. It could be done and then somehow everything would be perfect, wonderful, fantastic, etc etc etc.

Or maybe I was getting ahead of myself.

“ANNA FUCKIN HARVEY!” Graceann Donovan made herself known the minute she stepped outside. I looked up to find her stomping towards us in a pair of spiky black pumps that made me worried for her safety; she couldn’t possibly walk around all night in those.

Almost a little eager to put a bit of distance between myself and the Sykes brothers, I pushed myself forward, edging closer to Gracie. I held my arms open, waiting for the hug to come. “How’s it goin?” I said to her as she caught me up in her perfume and Parliaments smell.

“Not as well as it’s goin for yeh,” she muttered, as amused as Tom. And I was pretty sure there had been a group conspiracy against me. I even had a feeling that Katie had been somehow involved. I knew that letting she and Tom exchange numbers was a terrible idea. I couldn’t even fathom what a Katie/Gracie combo would be like. Deadly, I could only assume.

“Piss off,” I responded in my most pleasant voice.

“Come on, let’s go,” she grabbed my hand and started pulling me away.

“Where are yeh takin her?” Tom asked, always a little cautious of Gracie’s actions.

“For top secret girl talk,” she said. “No boys allowed.”

Oli spoke up. “Well, then I guess Tom’s allowed to go… E’s no bollocks.”

Tom gave his brother a hardy shove and offered me a smile as I was being pulled away. “See yeh later, love.”

I returned the affection and waved, trying not to make eye contact with Oli. But my reflexes had the better of me and my attention diverted very briefly to his face. He was smirking and I had to turn away quickly before he saw the blush falling over my cheeks. I could deal with him calling me out on this only once in a day.

Gracie didn’t say anything until we were out of sight. “I missed the hell outta yeh.”

“Well ef yeh ever hopped the train down to Brum, yeh wouldn’t ‘ve to miss me,” I was doing the best I could at a guilt trip.

But Gracie was guilt resistant; she had no real conscience to speak of. “It goes both ways, darlin.” She squeezed my hand and shook her head. “But I’ve been busy anyway.”

“Aye? Doin what?”

“Keepin the boys’ flat clean. Without yeh there to pick up, it turns to shit right quick.”

“So yeh spendin a lotta time over there then?” My eyebrows rose. She’d been rather mum on the subject of Matt, though I had heard the rumors from Tom.

She nodded. “Yeah, I suppose.”

“An what’s that mean then?”

Her eyes narrowed. “It means jus that… I’m spendin a lotta time over there.”

“With Matt?”

“Yeah.”

“So yeh like together again or somethin?”

“Shhh,” she pressed her index finger to her lips in an exaggerated fashion. “Yeh can’t put any labels on it.”

“I can’t?”

“No, yeh not allowed. No one is.”

“An why not?”

“Because it’ll fuck it up.”

“It will?” I probably should have known better than to question Gracie’s unusual life rules. They always seemed to work for her.

“Aye. Because we’ll get all caught up in figurin out what we are or aren’t that we’ll forget what the point is…”

“An what’s the point?” I couldn’t help but ask this. The point of everything was always eluding me. I was perpetually missing it. Oblivious, you might say.

“That we like bein together. That’s good enough for me, yeh know?” Gracie shrugged and let go of my hand. “So, how were the car ride?”

I rolled my eyes. “That were a real shit thing to spring on me, yeh know.”

“Don’t look at me like that, Anna… it weren’t me doin the springin.”

“But I’ve the feelin it were Gracie-endorsed.”

“Well, yeh know,” Gracie said with another shrug. “We gotta do what we can for yeh, because God knows yeh won’t do anything for yehself. Yeh too bloody scared. An the only way Oli’d talk to yeh was ef e thought yeh wanted ‘im to.”

“What?”

“Yeh’ve Oli convinced that yeh want nothin to do with ‘im.”

I didn’t even ask why he thought this, because I already knew. I’d been harsh and cruel to him after we’d had sex. I totally lost it, flying into fits of self-loathing and melodrama. I cringed at the memory, still too close to it. I didn’t really blame Oli for any of it, as I had gone to him knowing what would happen. But it just happened as such, taking it all out on him, because he was the only one who would take it. He was better at self-loathing than anyone.

“That isn’t true though,” I said, trying not to sink into a bout of pity.

“Well, yeah. Everyone knows that except im.”

--

I didn’t see Oli much in the early evening, not until the after party at least. There was line at the door, but we were all waved in without question. I would end up spoiled with that kind of treatment.

Gracie kept me busy for most of the night, pointing snidely at the hilarity of the wannabe groupie chicks. They’d only gotten worse over the years, I noticed. These girls, with their applied and reapplied red lipstick and thick black mascara, were more desperate and quite slick, much more obvious about their intentions now that the boys were relatively big. Gracie was condescending but good humored with them, as they tried to speak to us, knowing we had some sort of connections. It seemed to be common knowledge who Gracie was, and even who I was. I wasn’t quite familiar with the nature of gossip, as I didn’t engage in the practice. But I knew that it was not hard to become the target of gossip, all you had to do was be in a popular metal band. Or have grown up with people who were in a popular metal band.

“Anna, right?” One girl, a round faced brunette said, as I stood waiting for drinks at the bar.

“Uh, yeah…” She didn’t look particularly familiar to me.

“We met last year at a show in Birmingham—I’m Meredith, people call me Mer though, yeah?” She spoke loudly over the music, and she had dark rings of eyeliner globbing up her muddy brown eyes. This girl had been one that Gracie scoffed at earlier in the night while ‘Mer’ was attempting to get put on the exclusive list of the after party. (Clearly, she’d made it in somehow.) Gracie had dubbed her ‘delightfully tacky’.

“Oh, uh, right. Sorry,” I said, shifting around awkwardly. “I’m shit with names.” It was a white lie, as I didn’t remember her from anywhere in Birmingham, and I even doubted slightly that we’d met at all.

The bartender arrived back with the two drinks I’d requested, my bottle of Stella and a Redbull and vodka for Gracie, who happened to be in the toilets having a quick pick me up vomit before returning to drinking. “Here yeh go,” he said, and I slipped a few quid on the bar, as a tip; I wasn’t paying for drinks, it was only polite.

“Right, ‘s cool,” Mer nodded and looked around. “This party’s mint… A bit mental.”

“Uh huh.”

“They o’ways go this hard?” She asked.

I hoped Gracie would hurry up and puke, and come to my rescue here. “Hard? This is pretty tame. No one’s on a bad trip or anything. Could be worse.”

Mer laughed, seemingly quite amused by me. “Do yeh know where the guys staying tonight?” She asked, as though we were already close friends.

“Uh… Probably in their bunks?”

Her upper lip curled a little. “Oh. I jus thought there might be a party somewhere after this.” She had definitely been offended by my uselessness.

“This is the party.”

She rolled her eyes. “Yeh don’t gotta—“

“Oy! Sav!”

I was never so relieved to see Oli. “Ello,” I said with a sigh.

“Yeh’ve my drink then?” He took the beer from my grasp, took a drink and said “Cheers, love. Let’s go.” Without allowing eyeliner Mer to say anything more to me, Oli guided us away, with a hand on my shoulder.

A little flustered, over the music I said “Yeh took my drink.”

With a laugh, he rushed into my ear “But I pulled yeh away from the slag. Yeh owe me the drink.”

“Yeah, thanks.”

“Yeh looked like yeh were about to ‘ave a sick on yeh shoes.”

“Girls make me nervous,” I stuttered.

“I know. ‘S why I saved yeh.”

“Thanks,” I repeated.

He was still pushing us along, nearer to where a mass of people were dancing to the dirty dub that was being spun. “D’yeh wanna dance?” He asked, and I tried not to show my shock.

Uncertain of this, I shouted “Huh?”

“Dance, yeh know, move?” He was grinning, clearly just the faintest bit drunk.

Confused but a bit buzzed myself, I nodded. “Yeah, I suppose.”

“Yeh sure?” There was only a moment of hesitation in him.

This hesitation endeared him to me further, and I nodded again. “Absolutely, let’s go.” I split from him and pushed my way into the depths of the dancefloor. He followed behind me, as I started swaying and bobbing around to the beat.

I had a lot of practice in this club etiquette, from the past few weeks of partying with my endless energy roommate, Katie. All I had to do was close my eyes and ignore everyone around me, letting the music bounce and weave across my limbs. I did this, taking a large gulp of what had been Gracie’s drink, and trying to push any anxiousness from my bones. Music and movement could melt away any crushing melodrama.

The DJ was mixing and scratching, and I was hopping and twisting. After a few minutes, I forced my eyes open to see Oli dancing next to me, eyes at my hips and drink pressed to his lips. He shocked me with his giddy smile, as though he was just as surprised to see me beside him as I was to see him. He leaned in, putting a hand on my waist and with his mouth at my ear, he said “Didn’t know yeh could move like that…”

I just shrugged and took another sip of Gracie’s drink. His hand remained at my side, maybe feeling confident after I’d allowed it once. He was closer then and with my eyes closed, I could feel him dancing too. And we were having fun. Together. In a way that we hadn’t before. A totally carefree way. There was no weight or reasons holding us back. I didn’t even care who was watching, and I’m sure someone was.

He kept inching nearer and nearer as each instant beat past, and as we finished our drinks. I couldn’t find any excuse in me to push him away. I seemed to be forgetting why I ever thought he was a bad idea. Or maybe I’d just forgotten how good we were when we had no constraints, or forgotten that he made me let go. He pushed my limits, he always had. It was just part of his behavior. He had to press people’s buttons, and just so happened to push the right ones on me.

By the time his hips were bumping into mine, I truly didn’t mind. It was better than dancing with some random bloke at a club. Because there was so much energy brewing.

Without any warning, someone clutched my shoulder, knocking me apart from Oli. “Yeh cunt,” Gracie popped in my ear. “Where’s my drink?” She was laughing though, totally hammered.

I held up the empty cup in my palm and then pressed it into hers. “There yeh go.”

“Bitch!” She yelled, giggling like a moron.

“I need another anyway.” I gripped her hand and turned to Oli. “You need one too?”

He nodded without words, still maybe reeling from the impossibly close contact between us. I almost hoped he was. There was something very empowering about the way he was looking at me. It infused me with a strange confidence. Oli still wanted me, and though I had no idea why, after the shit I put him through over the summer, I wasn’t going to question it. Not to say I was going to take advantage of his want—I still didn’t know about all that. I wasn’t sure I could really handle him anyway; I’d proved too weak for it twice in the past.

Oli, Gracie and I lined up at the bar, calling our orders out in quick succession. At the other end of the bar, I saw Tom whispering fervently into Evie’s ear. She had a sour expression on her face, and I wasn’t sure if I wanted to get involved with whatever was happening between them. I didn’t like dealing with Evie head on anymore; she was a little sensitive in recent days, maybe weary of the time I made Tom spend on me. I tried to give Tom a wave, but he didn’t notice me.

“Ere,” Gracie said, pressing a shot glass into my hand. She and Oli had their own and she raised hers, saying “Cheers.”

I didn’t even ask what was in the glass, I was beyond questions. “Cheers,” I clicked my glass to hers and then Oli’s, a smile on all of our faces.

--

After a considerable amount of dancing with Oli and me, Gracie was tugged away from the floor by an understandably wasted Matt Nicholls. It was two or three drinks after I’d seen Tom at the bar with Evie, so there was a good possibility that I was as wasted as the rest.

My fringe was slicked down to my forehead with sweat and I was out of breath, sucking in air with big huffs. When Gracie had disappeared, I pulled on Oli’s sleeve. “I need to go outside a minute. ‘S hot as fuck in ere.”

“I’ll go with yeh,” he spoke into my hair.

I guess I’d expected him to say that, to follow me. Or I’d hoped he would. I was already surging with some kind of power, seduction maybe. The fact that he’d danced with me so long, that his hand had continually found my hip or my arm, gave me strange confidence. Or, of course, it could have been that other kind of confidence, the liquid variety. Either way, I led us over and out of the club.

“Aw, fuck, fresh air,” I breathed in deep. My face was beating red, and covered in a thin layer of moisture.

“Feels fuckin good.”

I leaned against the brick wall of the building, my head rolling back and my eyes closing. It was nearing three in the morning, and the line to gain entrance to the party had dissipated. Most everyone had been let in eventually; they had come and gone by then. “I think I’m drunk,” I said, with a little giggle in the back of my throat.

“Yeh THINK yeh drunk?”

“Uh huh.” I nodded.

“Well, I KNOW yeh drunk.”

I lifted my lids and said “Ow’d yeh KNOW?”

“Yeh was dancing with me.” He had a glassy eyed stare in my direction, which made me a bit anxious.

“An that means I’m drunk?”

“Don’t think I see yeh dancin with me otherwise.” This sounded like a challenge.

“I don’t like ow yeh said that,” I said, eyebrows dipping.

“Ow’d I say it?” His brows lifted.

I looked at my feet, thinking about what Gracie had said earlier, a little bit of my guilt sneaking up beneath my carefree inebriation. Inhibitions low, I bubbled over with words. “Like I’ve got something against yeh, like I think less o’ yeh now. An I don’t. Not a bit, Oliver. I know I weren’t that great to yeh before an fuck I shoulda told yeh I were sorry for it all when yeh came to see me that day, that day I left for Brum. But I mean, yeh came an it blew me away, yeh know? Didn’t know what to say. An then there’s that fuckin note yeh wrote. An I—“

Over put his hands on my shoulders. “Hold on there, love… Take a breath.”

Like a scolded child, I inhaled sharply and folded my arms across my chest. “But Oli—“

“Just relax,” he instructed. “No need to panic.”

I took a more earnest breath, slow and smooth. “Right, sorry.”

“’S fine, Sav.” His hands were still at my shoulders, but he kept a sizeable amount of distance between us. Though drunk Anna might have disagreed, I still needed a little space. He shook his head, almost in disbelief, and a comparable smirk pressed across his mouth. “Christ, Savanna… Yeh and me, we’re a bit fucked up.”

“Fucked up? In what way?” I knew he did not mean in the drunken sense of the phrase.

“Well we let ourselves be manipulated by Tom today.”

“Yeah…” I pursed my lips. “What’d e say to yeh anyway, so yeh’d pick me up?”

Oli dropped his hands from my shoulders. “E said yeh wanted me to… I thought maybe yeh wanted to talk to me or something.”

“Sorry e did that.”

“Don’t apologize for im, e’s a sneaky motherfucker e is… But whatever, I ended up talkin with yeh anyway, and dancing with yeh too. ‘S a win for me, I’d say.”

I was happy that my face was already burning red from intoxication, because I felt very flattered by Oli’s statement. “Yeah, I’m glad e did it.”

“Glad like yeh glad we not fightin or glad like yeh glad to be spendin time together?”

“Both.”

“Right then.” He took a few steps back and rocked on his heels, a hand rubbing one of his cheeks. “Well, damn… Now what?”

“I dunno? Maybe yeh could kiss me?” It was the first thing I could think of, and then the only thing I could think of.

His head whipped up with alarm. “Don’t say that.”

My mouth twitched, a reflexive frown. “Oh, okay, I jus—“

“What I mean is… don’t say it, because I’ll do it ef yeh ask me to. I’d not be able to say no.”

“Why should yeh say no?” I tried not to feel rejected.

He stepped a little nearer. “Yeh on thin ice, Savanna.” This was a warning.

“I am? Jus tell me what reason we ‘ave not to do it?” If I acted anything other than confident, I would lose my cool.

“Yeh drunk.”

I laughed at him. “When ‘as a girl bein drunk ever stopped yeh in the past?”

He scoffed, ready to get defensive.

“Relax, Oliver, it were a joke.”

“I know, I—“

“I’m gonna go back inside now.” I felt a bit embarrassed over the fact that I’d asked him to kiss me, and he’d not done it. “Yeh comin then?” I shifted towards the door.

“Oy, wait.” His fingers closed around my wrist. “I’m not sayin I don’t wanna kiss yeh, Sav. I’m jus sayin—“

“Listen, it shouldn’ be somethin yeh talk to death, Oli. Ef it happens, then it—“

And it happened. Clearly, he agreed with my statement. He tugged me forward, I stumbled only slightly. I caught my balance by placing a hand on his chest. The other hand was still in Oli’s grasp, and was being used to his advantage, to close any distance left between us.

His mouth grazed my cheek, sliding across my jaw and down to my lips, in a teasing way. I caught his lips, a little stuttered surprise in my response, but absolutely no hesitation.