Dead in the Water

"I knew you couldn't stay away from me. You always have to interfere in my life somehow." Amanda began to say.

"Look, I wanted to give you some time to let what happened blow over before I tried to apologize for my actions." I started to say.

"Apologize? You expect me to accept your apology after what you did? What I saw?" Amanda said trying to get out of bed.

"Amanda!" I said running over to her as she grabbed for the bed after her knees gave out when she tried to stand up.

"Don't touch me! I'm fine. I can do this myself and I don't need your help." She said trying to stand back up. "I am not a kid anymore. I am not this fragile flower that people seem to think I am that will break. I don't need people looking out for me all the time. My heart has been broken enough that by now I should be immune to anything that tries to hurt me." She said walking slow over to the window of her room.

"Amanda, I am sorry for what happened. I know I have hurt you in the worst possible way. I also know that you can't forgive me right now but I hope you can eventually. We are sisters. I love you." I said walking over to Amanda.

"Why?" She asked looking me in the eyes. "Why did you take Sisky away from me too?" She asked.

"It just happened. He really did care for you but I don't know exactly about how he really did feel.. With me, we bonded over you. I was afraid of losing you in the hospital that night you were brought in. You died and was brought back. As much as I hate to say this, Martin was there. It was like your soul felt him. You came back to us. I know you are mad at my mistake but you have a caring boyfriend now because of this waiting for you out in the hall. I don't like him and I know the feeling is mutal but I know he makes you happy because he made you happy back all those years ago." I said trying to seek forgiveness.

"You just don't like him because you tried to come on to him and he denied you." Amanda grinned. "Oh yeah, believe me, I know all about that." Amanda said.

"How would you know I did that? Did he tell you?" I asked.

"No. You tried to steal all of my boyfriends. I just seemed to find the one whose soul clicks with mine." She said laughing a bit at my expense.

"How did you guys meet up again? I mean how did he know you were here in L.A.?" I asked confused.

"Dreams. Martin dreamed of me the same way I have dreams and found you. Enough about me and Martin, you do realize that Pete is on his way here I am sure." Amanda said.

"Yeah. I just had to see that you were ok for myself. Sisky called me when he was told you were in the hospital. He didn't want to come here and cause a stir so he is staying put in the morgue." I replied.

"Do you love Pete?" Amanda blurted out.

"I do. Look, Amanda if you thought that I would come here and beg for you to talk to Pete for me then you are wrong. Pete and I need to work on our problem ourselves. I really do love him and I made the biggest mistake of my life sleeping with Sisky. I regret it and Pete may never speak to me again because of it. I accept that. I don't want to but I do.

Pete and I have a connection. I hope I didn't break it but I may have. Sisky was just a pain reliever. We bonded over the thought of losing you and what we had was just a way to relieve our frustrations and pain. I would like to think that Pete can eventually forgive me but that may never happen. I hope that you will forgive me. I am ready for a clean slate. No more jealous Elissa because that is how I think I know why I do the things I do sometimes.

I am jealous of you. I never wanted to admit it." I explained.

"Why would you be jealous of me? I was always jealous of you." Amanda said shocked.

"I was jealous because I thought you were prettier then me. I know we look alike but you had the blue eyes and when the sun hit your hair it showed off the natural highlights better. You studied hard and wanted to make a name for yourself in high school where all I did was flirt and goof off. I don't know how I survived really. You were the total opposite of me and sometimes I wished I could disappear. Any guy that talked to you was one less talking to me.

Wow, I can't believe I am finally letting all of this out." I said.

"Do you feel better?" Amanda asked.

"Yes. I had no reason to be jealous and because of my jealousy I caused you pain." I said regretting all of the things I had done to Amanda over the years. "Yet, somehow you have managed to forgive me for all of the things I had done." I added.

"This time it is different." Amanda said.

"I know." I sighed.

"I forgave you because you were my sister. I was a bit jealous of you because you had all the boyfriends and was popular but we were always still close. Mom always liked you better though and I thought that if I was like you, she would love me the same too." She said walking back to her bed.

"Mom loves you." I said.

"I know but it is different. I am the one who tried to take care of her after you vanished but it never seemed good enough what I did. I was not you." Amanda sighed.

"Amanda, you are smart and strong. You are way stronger then me. I have always been the weak sister. Mom was dumb to not see that." I said.

"Well, I better go before Pete drops in here and sees me. I don't think I will be seeing him for awhile." I said. "I am glad to see that you are ok." I said walking to the door.

"Elissa, you hurt me and it is going to take some time but I can't stay mad at you for long. We are sisters and nothing can come between blood. I just need some space for a bit." Amanda replied.

"I can do that." I smiled as I left her room knowing that that was Amanda's way of letting me know she will forgive me. I understand that she needs some space away from me and if that is what it is going to take to have my sister back then by all means I was going to do it. Now, if only Pete can forgive me.