Raven's View

Stumbling blindly into the worn down powder room. Head throbbing, the sensation of warm thick liquid slipping down the planes of my face. Starting at my temple and collecting at my chin, seeping deep into the fabric of my blouse. Bare feet scraping across the linoleum pealing floors. Dimly lit light casting down a rotten yellow shade over the far end of the small room. Making the old rusted over claw foot bathtub seem harsh and unwelcoming. Water already rested silently in the tub, cold and musking from the lack of movement. A soft draft filters through the small overhead window. The splintering glass ready to give way at any given moment. The air on the opposite side of the glass, dark and swirling with fog. Small wisps of it streaming through the cracks, vanishing into the warmer air of the room. Rustling sounds of night creatures set as my only soundtrack.

Walking unsteadily to the tub's edge, skimming my finger along the rusty rim, bringing a small bead of blood to my fingertip. I stare down out it curiously confused. After a few short moments of the eerie pause, I wipe the red substance onto my dirtied skirt, shivering slightly to myself. Looking into the reflection caused by the smooth water's surface, I see a frightened little girl. With matted hair, and blood streaks along her ghastly pale face. Eyes brimmed with red and swollen, once bright green now darkened with busted blood vessels. The browning red spreading throughout the whites, giving a disturbing glance. I reached my shaking hand out timidly to touch the girl, give her some comfort. At the moment my skin contacts the frigged water edge, the image falters. Rippling and altering in unreal ways, before all together the girl burs together, unnoticeable. Slowly I pull myself back, bowing my head down. I stay like that for what seems the longest moments of my entire life. Till finally I tug all of my clothing off, putting it in a sloppy pile by the side of the tub. Grasping the rim to help steady myself, I lift my body bit by bit into the awaiting water. Slipping my body low in the chilled liquid. Breathing in short shallow breaths, I watch my chest rise and slip below the water quickly. I stretch my stiff long legs out off the edge of the tub, sinking my head lowing into the water. Hearing the sudden waves of water flood into my ears.

The instant silence aside from the frantic beating of my heart, sooths me. Though it slips away all too soon, numbness fading away softly. At that exact moment it all comes through, like a dam breaking, all the water running freely, taking everything down in it's path. Every cut, scrape, gash and tare turns to a blazing fire of pain.Screaming for an escape. After that, as if on cue, the amnions floods in after it. The moans, sighs, giggles, voices hushed, screams, pleads and wails. No depth of silence could conceal the dreaded haunting memories that I carry within my head. Sinking my head lower into the icy water, craving for that pause of silence again. Water blinds my eyes, to stare up foggily at the chipped and cracked ceiling. Scared to close my eyes against the water, fear that the images will soon to follow. I now breathe in ragged torn gasps, my lungs begging for more oxygen than is given. I push out my last exhale, pressing my head to hit the grainy tub floor. Whole face comforted my the swirling, calming laps of water. Lungs begin to scream out in protest, for a release. Though I refuse to show any mercy. Every second that slowly ticks past, the noise dies down more and more. Lightness floats into my body, brilliant patterns beginning to show in spots of my vision. The fire in my wounds seemed to have been put out by the splash of water against them. I feel like the lightest down feather, carelessly twirling in the vast ocean, just for my liking. The spots in my vision begin to spread, till the point all I can see is blackness. Sweet, sweet blackness. Nothing more. I see people I once knew, all rushing to my side, all smiling and happy. Happy to see me. Insanely I smile back, my chapped lips parting ever so slightly to wisp out one final word. One meaningless, forgettable word.

"Raven."