King of Hearts

I'd been here for about a week and a half, I was guessing. I haven't been keeping good track of the days, and the just seemed to pass on their own, without being tied down by logic or reason.

Everything was this way. Nothing was logical, nothing was within the laws of physics, and I felt myself slowly being pulled into the cycle of insanity.

Everyday, Pete would try to get me to play a card game with him. At first, I didn't play because I didn't trust him. Now, however, I wouldn't play because to be honest, I wanted to prolong my time here. I'd learned to love the way Panda would treat me like a pet, almost. The other day, he took me back to the garden room again, and when he splashed me with the water that I couldn't see I swear I felt wetness.

That first day, when I was wandering in the woods, I told myself that I might go crazy out in the woods alone. That it could happen to anyone.

Now I knew I was wrong. It took someone truly insane to find their insanity alone. I learned that I could never have gained craziness by myself. But, with Pete teaching me, in his ways, I was learning. Everyday I spent with him was more and more random, and I became more and more like him.

A few days in, I stopped trying so hard to change my clothes. They wouldn't get dirty, because they knew it was no use to try and find a way to make me take them off.

After a week, I stopped trying to keep track of time, hence why I don't really know how long I've been here. It could've been years, for all I know.

"Oh muffin!" that was Panda now. He'd taken to calling me muffin for reasons I don't quite understand. But he'd taught me that not understanding was better, or even best in most situations.

"The truth hurts," he'd said. "Ignorance is bliss. The key to insanity." For such a psych, he had so many wise words.

"Oh muffin, guess what time it is!" he skipped over to me, yelling in a sing-song voice. I grinned. It wasn't as creepy as his, but it would have to do for now.

"I don't know, Panda, why don't you tell me?"

"Time for our game! Please? Trust me?" (AN- damn I lost the game!) I sighed. I really wanted to play this game with him.

I trusted him with all of my heart already, but I was afraid if I played I'd get sent away quicker. I didn't want to go back to sanity, all this time that has held so much meaning for me would become memories, and I didn't want that.

"Panda-love, you know I'd like to, but I just don't know if I'm ready yet." his face showed disappointment. The only negative emotion that ever graced Panda's presence.

But, it soon faded back into his usual delirious happiness and he grabbed my hand. He pulled me towards the kitchen, I think.

Sometimes I feel like the rooms change around me. One day the grand ballroom door will become the door to the indoor pool. The indoor pool that didn't have any water in it, ever.

"Muffin, what do you want for breakfast?" the kitchen, according to Pete, had been in a good mood lately, giving us any type of food we wanted. "I don't know, Panda, what do you want?" I'd learned that he generally travels by skipping. And I'd learned it's easiest to just skip along with him.

So here I was, linked arms with Pete skipping towards where we last remembered the kitchen being. "I want sustenance. Anything that will keep me alive." typical Panda. He didn't care about much at all. It's a side effect of the insanity that I want so badly to achieve.

I feel like if I become like him, he'll keep me around for longer. My subconscious mind tells me this, but I'm not sure if it can be trusted. I don't see it often, and can't really keep my eye on it to make sure it's telling the truth.

"Let's see what the refrigerator gives us, shall we?" I didn't think either of us had any sort of preference, so we could just let the inanimate objects around us make decisions for us.

"That sounds perfectly lovely, my lovely!" this being said, Pete suddenly stopped his skipping and flopped down on the ground, his stomach facing the ceiling. "Uh, Panda? I thought we were going to go eat?"

"Ah, my muffin. You have so much to learn! Doing what you've planned is never good. Once something is planned well, it is never okay to go through with it. You have to live life completely unplanned. It works better that way."

I may be becoming crazier by the millisecond, but I'd never reach the level of insanity that Pete has gained so easily. I wonder why he's so crazy, where he came from. What was his past? He had to have one, whether or not he can remember it is another story.

I collapsed next to Pete, turning on my side to face him. "Hey, Panda?"

"Yes, my lovely muffin?" there was that grin of his again. I wonder what didn't trigger it. "Ask the Panda, and he may answer as nonsensically as possible. That's a promise."

I smiled at him, hoping he'd take the question well. I wasn't sure whether or not his past was a touchy subject. "Well, I was wondering what drove you to such a level of insanity. Why are you like this? I mean, what happened in your past to lead you to this?"

"You know, Patrick, suddenly breakfast isn't sounding so bad." he completely ignored my question, his grin never faltering. It was as if he never heard it spoke.

The thing with Pete is that you never know. Maybe he really didn't hear me. It's not like he was predictable.

No matter, I sighed and picked up my hat momentarily, running a hand through my hair. Panda hopped up and helped me to my feet, and we went searching for the kitchen once more.

One day I'll know the truth, Pete. One day I'll know the truth.