The Consequence
can't be too careful anymore
“I’d rather watch CSI,” Sophie looked around at the room full of boys.
“We can’t watch CSI,” Josh looked at her apologetically, before sending Stephen a sideways glance.
“Because every time someone finds a body Stephen hopes it’s Justin or Zara’s,” Ryan Steele filled in the gaping hole of explanation.
Sophie sighed heavily and sat back in the squashy armchair she’d been occupying for the past couple of hours. Brian had called her that morning and sweet talked her into skipping work and going to Stephen’s apartment. She only had a couple of days left in Arizona, and the thought of being in the same place as Brian beat work.
So, here she was. Brian had asked her to try and make him see some sense, but Stephen was in no fit state to listen to anything anyone had to say. He didn’t respond to anything, he just sat, his eyes glued to the television screen. Red rimmed and bloodshot. His skin was pale and oily, hair tangled and greasy and he smelled like popcorn and cologne from two days ago.
90210 was playing on the television. At first, Stephen had insisted that was what he wanted to watch. He’d said Justin had hated it, and so he must watch it to spite his friend. That had been a full forty eight hours ago. He’d deteriorated drastically since then. He wouldn’t speak or eat. He just drank from a bottle of vodka. Tiny sips every couple of hours.
“You know that’s never going to happen right? And you know if they did die and their bodies were found you’d hate yourself forever knowing they died and you never got to resolve anything with them?”
Stephen just looked at her slowly uncapping his vodka and taking a long gulp. “I wouldn’t hate myself.”
Josh and Ryan both turned to face Stephen, shock painted over both their faces. “Fuck me, he speaks!” Josh declared.
Sophie raised her eyebrows at Stephen, “yeah you would.”
Brian emerged from the bathroom, rubbing his hair with a fluffy towel, sensing the atmosphere in the room. “What’d I miss?”
“Stephen talked! It was amazing!” Josh marvelled. “He said, he said ‘I wouldn’t hate myself’ in response to a question, a very smart question, Sophie asked, or told, depending on which way you interpret her tone.”
Brian looked at Sophie questioningly, “Oh-kay then, so have we gotten to the bottom of anything?”
“No,” Sophie shook her head, “only the fact that Stephen possibly wants Justin and Zara in body bags.”
“No,” Stephen shook his head, “that’s harsh. I don’t want them dead. I just - I don’t know. I want them to hurt, I want them to feel these fucking feelings I’ve had to put up with. I want to hurt them like they’ve hurt me. I want to see them both cry and beg for the pain to stop. I want them to be sorry for what they’ve done. They’ve ripped my fucking heart out and used it as a freaking bouncy castle. I don’t know what I feel about either of them right now, I was angry and I hated them and now it’s just numb.”
Ryan, Josh and Brian all exchanged a glance. None of them knew how to answer that.
“Do you want to see them? Talk to them?” Sophie asked, keeping her voice soft. She didn’t want him to lash out.
He looked up at her. “I don’t know. What the hell am I supposed to say?”
“Everything you just said to us. Tell them what they’ve done to you and how they’ve made you feel. I wouldn’t scream at them though, they won’t take you seriously if you do. Zara especially.”
“Sophie, have you ever thought about a career in counselling or therapy?”
“I’ll stick to my pencils and paper, thanks Gomez.”
He cracked a weak smile, putting his vodka bottle down and looking around at his friends. “I think we need to go and see them.”
“Are you sure? If you’re not ready to go and see them, then that’s okay, we can sit here and watch 90210 for a little longer, I don’t mind,” Josh shrugged.
“You only love it when the girls are prancing around in their bikinis,” Sophie commented.
“Maybe. But it’s a good show, the bikinis are just a bonus!”
She rolled her eyes, “such a boy.”
“I’m sure. If I don’t do it now, I probably never will. And I don’t know how much longer I can sit here wallowing,” Stephen nodded, rising to his feet and heading for the bathroom.
Just as he closed the door behind him, Ryan’s phone buzzed on the coffee table. He snatched it up and listened, nodding his head even though the caller couldn’t see him. “Yep, bye.” He exhaled slowly, before looking around at the three pairs of eyes focussed on him.
“That was Justin. Evie’s awake.”
“We can’t watch CSI,” Josh looked at her apologetically, before sending Stephen a sideways glance.
“Because every time someone finds a body Stephen hopes it’s Justin or Zara’s,” Ryan Steele filled in the gaping hole of explanation.
Sophie sighed heavily and sat back in the squashy armchair she’d been occupying for the past couple of hours. Brian had called her that morning and sweet talked her into skipping work and going to Stephen’s apartment. She only had a couple of days left in Arizona, and the thought of being in the same place as Brian beat work.
So, here she was. Brian had asked her to try and make him see some sense, but Stephen was in no fit state to listen to anything anyone had to say. He didn’t respond to anything, he just sat, his eyes glued to the television screen. Red rimmed and bloodshot. His skin was pale and oily, hair tangled and greasy and he smelled like popcorn and cologne from two days ago.
90210 was playing on the television. At first, Stephen had insisted that was what he wanted to watch. He’d said Justin had hated it, and so he must watch it to spite his friend. That had been a full forty eight hours ago. He’d deteriorated drastically since then. He wouldn’t speak or eat. He just drank from a bottle of vodka. Tiny sips every couple of hours.
“You know that’s never going to happen right? And you know if they did die and their bodies were found you’d hate yourself forever knowing they died and you never got to resolve anything with them?”
Stephen just looked at her slowly uncapping his vodka and taking a long gulp. “I wouldn’t hate myself.”
Josh and Ryan both turned to face Stephen, shock painted over both their faces. “Fuck me, he speaks!” Josh declared.
Sophie raised her eyebrows at Stephen, “yeah you would.”
Brian emerged from the bathroom, rubbing his hair with a fluffy towel, sensing the atmosphere in the room. “What’d I miss?”
“Stephen talked! It was amazing!” Josh marvelled. “He said, he said ‘I wouldn’t hate myself’ in response to a question, a very smart question, Sophie asked, or told, depending on which way you interpret her tone.”
Brian looked at Sophie questioningly, “Oh-kay then, so have we gotten to the bottom of anything?”
“No,” Sophie shook her head, “only the fact that Stephen possibly wants Justin and Zara in body bags.”
“No,” Stephen shook his head, “that’s harsh. I don’t want them dead. I just - I don’t know. I want them to hurt, I want them to feel these fucking feelings I’ve had to put up with. I want to hurt them like they’ve hurt me. I want to see them both cry and beg for the pain to stop. I want them to be sorry for what they’ve done. They’ve ripped my fucking heart out and used it as a freaking bouncy castle. I don’t know what I feel about either of them right now, I was angry and I hated them and now it’s just numb.”
Ryan, Josh and Brian all exchanged a glance. None of them knew how to answer that.
“Do you want to see them? Talk to them?” Sophie asked, keeping her voice soft. She didn’t want him to lash out.
He looked up at her. “I don’t know. What the hell am I supposed to say?”
“Everything you just said to us. Tell them what they’ve done to you and how they’ve made you feel. I wouldn’t scream at them though, they won’t take you seriously if you do. Zara especially.”
“Sophie, have you ever thought about a career in counselling or therapy?”
“I’ll stick to my pencils and paper, thanks Gomez.”
He cracked a weak smile, putting his vodka bottle down and looking around at his friends. “I think we need to go and see them.”
“Are you sure? If you’re not ready to go and see them, then that’s okay, we can sit here and watch 90210 for a little longer, I don’t mind,” Josh shrugged.
“You only love it when the girls are prancing around in their bikinis,” Sophie commented.
“Maybe. But it’s a good show, the bikinis are just a bonus!”
She rolled her eyes, “such a boy.”
“I’m sure. If I don’t do it now, I probably never will. And I don’t know how much longer I can sit here wallowing,” Stephen nodded, rising to his feet and heading for the bathroom.
Just as he closed the door behind him, Ryan’s phone buzzed on the coffee table. He snatched it up and listened, nodding his head even though the caller couldn’t see him. “Yep, bye.” He exhaled slowly, before looking around at the three pairs of eyes focussed on him.
“That was Justin. Evie’s awake.”
♠ ♠ ♠
This is sosososo short, but it's a little filler. There's about three/four parts left now.