A Thousand Tears

I watch him from afar; he is at his weakest, most vulnerable. In his eyes I see pain, and I see loneliness. My heart pangs as a tear slides from his face and splashes to the ground. I follow it with my eyes and hear its echo in the empty building. He looks so young, so unlike himself; the wise and old soul he is. His pained whispers float through the air and rip at my chest, “Mother,” I can hear him choke back sobs, trying to be strong. It’s the star festival, and its name is so unfitting. His mother was killed on this day, and yet we refer to it as a festival; oh, the irony.

He’s normally so arrogant, so powerful, and yet when I see him like this, I admire him more. There is reason and there is pain behind that mask, that goal he strives for. Today is the only day he lets himself cry, lets himself hurt and doubt. For a thousand years he’s chased these dreams, died for these dreams, but here he is in pain. Another cry crawls from his lips, and I cover my mouth. He has a hand over his heart, clutching at his cloak. The tears are streaming down his face, leaving it an angry red, as they slam to the ground, dying it a dark color. His eyes are unfocused as he looks to me, an uninvited visitor. I go to bow, to show my respect to both he and his mother, but his words stop me. “Kirsa,” He cries, “it hurts.”

His voice is weak as he says my name and begs for my help. Air is heavy as I attempt to breath, “Please,” he falls to his knees. “Please.”

I let out a sob as I watch him there; so sad, so pathetic. He looks to me, his eyes pleading for me to rid him of the pain. I step to him; his dark tresses are spread across the tear stained concrete, his head placed against its cold surface. I kneel at his side, my eyes scan his body; it shakes as he cries and convulses as he sobs. With a heavy heart I lay my unsteady hand on his back. My fingers play an unnamed melody across his thinly clothed skin, an attempt to soothe him.

“Shh,” I coo, calling to him and straightening him up. “Shh, calm, Oji- sama. I’m right here,” I offer him my arms, ready to hold him if it need be. With a sound that tugs at my heart strings he lays his head against my chest. Slowly, I wrap my arms around his shaking body and hold him to my body, like his mother would.