Cabin Fever

“I said, 'back then, I was.'”

His words hit me like a freight train traveling at one hundred miles an hour. My breath left my chest as I stared down at him. I stumbled as I tried to remove myself from our entangled position. Alex possessively held me close to him, his eyes wide with what seemed to be confusion.

“Let me go,” I snapped and tumbled away from Alex and onto the floor. My skin felt as though bugs were crawling all over me while the realization of what he said set in. A game? He played me just like he does the puck.

Tears stung my eyes as I stood up and glared at the man before me. He lay lifelessly on the couch, his eyes on everything but me. At least he has a conscious, I thought bitterly as I shoved a hand through my hair.

“You were playing a fucking game? You charmed me into thinking you actually gave a shit only to turn around and drop me to the floor?” I screeched, my anger taking control over my body.

Alex cringed as he sat up. The silence coming from him did nothing to help my anger but instead fueled it. Lightning lit up the sky and thunder shook the house as he stood up and ran a hand through his dark hair. I squinted to see him better in the dark room as I crossed my arms over my chest.

“Silence? That's your fucking answer? You're a coward, Alex. That's what you were playing, you were afraid and that's why you left,” I snapped harshly once the silence became too much for me to handle.

Sarcastic laughter filled the room as Alex took a step closer to me. “Bullshit,” he started as I took a step back. “Did you ever stop to think that maybe I wasn't into you? That all I wanted was the sex?”

His words stung but I refused to let him gain the upper hand. “Sorry, didn't peg you as a douche bag. Guess I had my rose glasses on,” I deadpanned. “But sweetheart, that still doesn't cover the fact that you said you were playing a game.”

Alex laughed again and closed the space between us. Another flash of lightning lit up the room allowing me to see his face clearly. Anger was painted across his expression as clear as day; his dark eyes were stormy as he stared down at me. “You want the truth?” He asked, his voice heavy and raspy with his French Canadian accent.

“Obviously,” I drawled sarcastically. When he didn't reply right away I yawned for show; to make him think I didn't care and felt bored with his shit. Unfortunately the action reflected no truth, something I think he could tell.

“I made a bet with Cookie that I could get into your pants within three months. Guess what? I won.”

My mind went blank as his words sunk into my skin. A triumphant grin graced his plump lips as another flash of lightning brightened the room followed by a loud clap of thunder. Almost as though I was controlled by someone else I pulled back and slapped Alex across the face with all of my strength.

He recoiled in pain and a soft groan slipped past his lips.

“Fuck you,” I spat before turning on my heel and walking straight to my room.

- - - - - - - -

Sleep didn't come easy for me and when it did finally come it wouldn't stay. I tossed and turned, waking with every little sound or flash of light. Thoughts of my fight with Alex were to blame for that. They plagued my mind as I tried to sleep and infiltrated my dreams once I managed to grasp just a couple minutes of rest. When I finally woke up around eight – four hours from the last time I could remember looking at a clock – it felt like twenty minutes.

Noises of Danielle and Alex in the other room pulled me from bed hesitantly. I quickly ran a brush through my hair and grabbed a long sleeve shirt from my suitcase to put on over my tank top. After twirling my hair into a messy bun on top of my head I slid my feed into my furry slippers and prepared to meet with Alex for the first time since our shouting match last night.

I slipped into the kitchen unnoticed by Alex and Danielle. They were running around playing some sort of game or more accurately, my little Goddaughter was giggling and laughing while Alex chased after her. A soft laugh escaped my lips as Danielle tripped and almost went sprawling across the floor. Instead she was caught by the man I was trying to ignore with every little piece of my being.

“Auntie Lauren!” Danielle giggled before running towards me at full speed. She latched onto my bare legs and wrapped tiny arms around them.

“Hey baby doll,” I laughed and laced my fingers through her short hair as she continued to hug my legs.

The feeling of someone staring at me brought my attention to Alex. As much as I hate to admit it, he looked good despite looking like he got very little sleep. Good, he doesn't deserve to sleep, I mused as my eyes traveled up and down his body. His hair stuck up in every direction on top and lay flat in the back, his blue sweatpants hung low on his hips revealing the very top of his boxers but the best part of his attire was up top; he was shirtless.

Light bags outlined his dark eyes and his lips were pressed into a tight line as he stared back at me. Our eyes met somewhere in the middle bringing a smirk to his lips. Caught, I mused but I couldn't find any anger within my body at being found out. Alex is a pro athlete, why wouldn't he have a nice body that I'd want to stare at?

“Can you make breakfast Auntie Lauren?” Danielle asked, successfully pulling my gaze away from the man before me. I glanced down at her as she extracted herself from my legs.

“Sure, what do you want?” I asked as I knelt down to her level. Her bright brown eyes matched her dad's perfectly and suddenly I realized why he liked the song Brown Eyed Girl by Van Morrison so much.

“Scrambled eggs and bacon!” She exclaimed before running off to undoubtedly find some toys to play with.

I sighed as I moved to the fridge and began digging out the ingredients. I pulled out the eggs, milk, bacon and butter before turning to the stove. However, I didn't get very far as Alex was playing wall.

“Get out of my way,” I snapped and hip bumped him to move.

His hands found my hips and before I could even react he had me spun around and pinned against the counter via his hips. Thoughts of yelling briefly flowed through my mind but instead I settled on a glare as he smiled down at me.

“I'm sorry Lauren. I was out of line last night,” he murmured as he moved to push a piece of loose hair behind my ear. I cringed and shied away from his touch.

“Get away from me Alex,” I snapped through clenched teeth. His face fell but he released his grip on me and moved away.

I almost felt bad for him as I began making breakfast but then I remembered that he more or less used me. I was nothing to him back when I had feelings for him so why would that be any different now? Alex was never really a relationship guy from what I could but he never seemed like the kind of guy to willingly enter that kind of bet.

As I made the scrambled eggs a new thought entered my mind – did Ryan know about the bet? He would have said something if he did, my mind argued but I couldn't be so sure. Alex and Ryan are close – like brothers, really – and even though Ryan and I have known each other for longer than I can remember a bond between two guys is usually stronger than that of a guy and a girl regardless.

I slid a few pieces of bacon into the skillet and waited for everything to cook. As soon as it was done I made a plate for Danielle and brought it to the table. Her eyes lit up as she sat down and grabbed her fork. After pouring her a glass of milk I set it down in front of her and wandered back to the stove.

Any and all appetite left my system as I felt Alex's hands hover over my hips. What is with him? What makes him think that his actions are even remotely okay? Questions entered my mind as I shut off the stove top and moved the used pans into the sink. My actions and feelings for the man I was forced to tolerate were made pretty clear after his confession, he had no reason to think anything else.

“Don't fucking touch me,” I hissed as his hands graced my hips. My eyes fluttered over to Danielle to make sure she was still enthralled with her food. Alex turned to look as well and after we both made sure she wasn't paying attention to us we glanced at each other.

Something inside of me snapped as I stared into his big brown eyes. He looked gentle, harmless even, as he stared back at me. His hand came up and cupped the right side of my cheek, his thumb wiping away an errant tear. Shooting pains slammed through my stomach as I remembered every little bit of our past together.

I turned away from him, my arm knocking his hand away from me. I focused on the scene outside the window over the sink and prayed that the tears that were threatening to fall would go back to where they came from. He isn't worth your tears, I told myself silently but yet as his arms coiled around my waist I couldn't help but wonder if I was lying to myself.

“I'm sorry Lauren, I have a good reason for it,” he whispered, his mouth dangerously close to my ear. A shudder ripped through my body and the sadness in his voice was almost enough for me to forgive him. Almost.

“Get away from me Alex,” I warned, my teeth clenched so hard my jaw began to ache.

Silence greeted me for a moment until Alex's arms lightened their grip on me. “Just look at me for a second, please,” he murmured, his voice laden with the French Canadian I always found so irresistible.

Despite every instinct in my mind and body, I turned to look at the man that has been occupying my thoughts. His eyes were filled with sadness and possibly even regret as he captured my glance. I shot a look at Danielle just to make sure she was still unaware of the situation between Alex and I – she looked blissful as she shoveled food into her mouth.

“What?” I asked softly as a soft thud of thunder filled the air.

“I really am sorry. I fucked up, I know. When you're ready will you at least hear me out?”

Everything was telling me to scream 'no fucking way' right in his face but I couldn't do it. The sadness and obvious regret in his body language was too much for me and so I nodded my head and watched as he extracted himself from my personal bubble and moved over towards Danielle.

Pain and anger were still running through my veins despite his showing of obvious regret. Just because he was acting that way didn't make those things true – Alex is really good at selling things and I can't let myself fall into his trap again. As nice as he sometimes seems he also has an awful mean streak. The sad thing?

Alexandre Burrows may just be the death of me.