Cabin Fever

Alex's eyes darkened, glazed over with regret and apology as he held my gaze with the utmost confidence. “I didn't realize you cared so much,” he spoke quietly, sincerity and truth blending with his smooth, accent laden voice.

The genuine sincerity of his words kept me from pulling my hand away and retorting in anger. His calm demeanor scared me a bit as I held his gaze despite wanting to cower under the intensity. “Yeah, well now you do,” I replied quietly, my voice sounding breathy and strained to my own ears.

Every part of me wanted to hate him, to yell and scream and curse until the storm around us stopped but I couldn't. The pure emotions radiating off of him stopped me from doing so. He almost looked like a sad puppy, hell bent on making it up to his owner for the chewed up shoes left under the table.

It irked me that he had such an ability to break down my anger and frustration with just a simple look. And even in knowing that, I still couldn't manage to hold onto my grudge and instead could feel my grimace lifting as I stared back at the man before me.

Alex's lips twitched up into a lopsided smirk. It wasn't cocky or arrogant and held no malice but instead just looked like an 'I'm-going-to-seduce-you' smirk; the same smirk he gave me long ago.

- - - - - - -

The mood about the house was jovial, almost too jovial. A good chunk of the Vancouver Canucks decided that they wanted to throw a 'small' party to celebrating clinching a playoff spot. Of course Olivia just insisted that if she was being dragged by Ryan I had to go to.

I'd never tell them but I didn't mind it too much. All it meant was Alex and I would see each other a little earlier than we planned. But then he started showing up everywhere I turned, a cute little smirk painted across his lips. It was unnerving because he doesn't even bother to hide it yet the whole thing was supposed to be a secret per his request.

But that's just Alex. He's pretty open about what he feels and what's going on in his life and he usually speaks his mind regardless of whether or not you want to know what's going on in his mind. It's a part of the reason I find him irresistibly sexy. This is also partially part of the reason why I agreed to our little 'rendezvous.'

Last night, Alex finally decided it was time I could see his apartment. He's been sketchy throughout our whole … arrangement? Always careful about what we can and cannot do in terms of going out because he's 'scared Ryan will kick his ass'. It's silly, really, I'm old enough to handle myself and while Kes may be one of my closest friends, he doesn't run my life.

While Alex and I were at his apartment, things progressed further than they have before to the point where I had to stop it. I'm not a prude but I do believe that being with guys that way should be at least a little special and I'm not going to sleep with just anybody. Only if there are feelings involved can it progress to that level and while I know I have feelings for Alex I'm not sure if it works in the reverse.

He's an enigma, really. When it comes to feelings of that sort, at least. But I'm okay with that, I like that he's my own sort of jigsaw puzzle that I have to put together piece by piece just to figure out. After I stopped things from going too far with Alex we agreed to meet up tonight and give it another go … for real. The situation is unusual and unlike anything I've ever been a part of but isn't that somehow part of the fun?

“You ready to go?” Alex's thick French Canadian accent was music to my ears.

I nodded slowly as the thoughts clouding my mind lifted. Alex's fingers trailed over my cheekbone lightly before dropping away completely. He motioned for me to follow him and didn't wait to see if I would or not. It felt as though someone poured gasoline down my throat and tossed in a match as I followed him.

Every inch of me felt as though I was on fire, especially my cheek where his fingers had just lingered. I watched as he exited through the front door and glanced around before following. Alex wanted secrets; we didn't need someone finding us out now.

Separately we both made our way to my apartment. I made sure to hang back and keep space between us so we couldn't be linked. It felt a little weird and somewhat insulting to go through all these measures to make sure we weren't seen together but if it would keep Alex happy then I'd just have to grin and bear it.

Shortly after Alex turned into my apartment building, I followed suit. Inside the lobby I found him waiting for me. He smiled gently and laced our fingers together as we walked towards my apartment. We rode the elevator to my floor in silence and I couldn't help but feel like a prostitute.

The only thing that was missing from that scenario was me getting paid. Okay, and the fact that prostitutes don't have feelings for their clients. Alex squeezed my hand as the metal box beeped to let us know we reached my floor. I squeezed back and followed him to my room. I fumbled with the key as I tried to open the door.

Beside me, Alex just smiled his cute little smile and wrapped his hands around mine. “Relax,” he whispered, his accent thick and full. I could feel a blush prickling my skin as I sucked in a deep breath. Alex smiled again and removed the keys from my hand and unlocked the door with ease.

I barely had a chance to drop my purse onto the side table and turn on the light before Alex attacked me with kisses. His mouth hovered over mine as his hands grasped my hips and pulled me closer. My stomach did a series of flips before settling as my arms wrapped around his neck.

Alex kicked the door shut behind us and pressed me against it. My tongue slipped into his mouth as his hands inched their way under my shirt. They didn't stay there long. Instead, he lifted me up a little higher on the door to have better leverage. I wrapped my legs around his waist and locked my ankles together behind him as thought I was pulling him in. I rocked our hips together ever so slightly as he tugged on the collar of my shirt to have better access.

A soft groan of pleasure slipped past my lips as I focused on Alex's skillful mouth dancing over my collar bone. Together his lips, tongue and teeth united for a lethal combination as they worked expertly on my soft skin. He hummed softly to create a vibration in his lips as he rocked our clothing clad hips together. His fingers trailed down my arms softly before settling on my hips once more. Alex detached himself from my collar bone and pressed our foreheads together.

“Bedroom?” He questioned as once again rocked our hips together. I could barely nod as Alex's fingers slithered under the hem of my shirt. I threaded my fingers through his hair as I captured my lips with his.

Wordlessly he moved his hands to grip my thighs gently as he began moving us towards my bedroom. I wrapped my arms around his neck and squeezed my legs tighter around him for fear of being dropped. As he navigated us through my apartment I placed feather light kisses along his jaw. Just as I was about to crash our lips together Alex dropped me onto the bed and fell next to me.

“You're beautiful,” he murmured before sliding his hands under my shirt. He lifted it over my head and tossed it aside in one swift motion before capturing my lips with his once more. His hands grazed over my chest, gently massaging as our tongues danced together.

Before I could even process what was happening, Alex unhooked my bra and was pulling it off of me. Waves of pleasure crashed over my body and flowed through me as he straddled me. I reached for his shirt and tugged on the bottom to let him know what I wanted. Alex smirked at me before pulling it off slowly.

He tossed it aside before pressing his lips to mine once again. My world went blank as I fell into a pleasure-like state. All the right touches, thrusts, and kisses sent me soaring for what felt like forever. Except when I landed Alex was nowhere to be found. Cold, empty sheets were the only things to greet me.

- - - - - - -

“Lauren? Are you okay?”

Alex’s voiced sliced through my thoughts and the hazy cloud of our past lifted. “I’m fine,” I replied tersely as I removed my hand from his.

Suddenly everything seemed so clear to me. I remembered things that I tried to block out in forgetting about Alex and our night together. Naturally it never worked but as time wore on details faded and only the most painful and significant memories remained.

But the one thing I always managed to forget was his fishy behavior. The way he was always so keen to keep things a secret just between the two of us. It wasn't surprising, at least not back then, but thinking about it now... well; maybe he was embarrassed of me. Maybe he didn't want his teammates to know what he had to do. In a way that would make a lot of sense.

Especially now because we're all alone in Ryan and Olivia's house. There isn't anyone around to judge him or say shit to him about us. It makes perfect sense that he'd be all over me now.

“You looked lost,” Alex told me softly, his face full of concern.

His concern was melting my sudden anger but I refused to let him get off the hook that easily. A soft groan passed my lips and I shook my head. “No, don't even pull that fake concern bullshit on me.”

“What?”

I stood up from my chair and motioned for him to follow me. The last thing either of us needed was for Danielle to wake up. I opened the sliding door to the back deck and stepped out into the cold air. Alex followed suit and shut the door softly behind him.

“What?” He repeated as a gust of wind swept by us.

I raked my fingers through my hair and stared back at him. Different strings of words rolled through my mind, marinating there but they all died on my tongue. Nothing felt quite right and approaching him head on would only trigger the defensive side that I've seen so much of.

Instead, the key to handling Alex Burrows is facing him head on but not with fighting words because yes, there is a difference.

“I have some questions that need direct answers. If you're really sorry you'll give me the truth,” I told him slowly.

The man before me stared back, his eyes bright in the moonlight. After what felt like years he slowly dipped his head forward in a quick nod.

The cold air burned my throat and felt rejuvenating to my lungs as I gulped in a deep breath. This could make or break everything, I mused to myself. I turned my head to the sky, determined to ignore Alex's inquisitive eyes.

“Back when I was still living in Vancouver, when you used me to get an in with your team, you were always acting so secretive. Why?”

I wasted no time in getting to the bottom line, something that clearly stunned Alex by the shocked look on his face. Ever so slowly, he closed the distance between us. The hairs on my arms prickled with the closeness – or maybe the cold air, I'm not sure. His fingers looped through the belt loops on the front of my jeans and gently tugged me closer.

Alex's eyelids fluttered shut as he leaned in. My body froze in place as his lips covered mine ever so softly. Every inch of my body began to buzz with warmth as he deepened the kiss. His hand found the back of my neck and my eyelids finally slid shut. As his tongue explored my mouth Alex's thumb trailed along my jaw line, leaving a burning trail in its wake.

A groan of protest slipped past my lips once he pulled away. Alex smiled down at me, his brown eyes shimmering in the moonlight. “You want to know the truth?” He questioned, his tone unsure. I nodded anxiously and closed my eyes in anticipation.

When silence greeted me I opened my eyes only to find that Alex turned away from me. He was leaning against the far railing, looking out at the swirling storm. My stomach did a series of back flips as I watched him standing there.

“Alex?” I called softly, my voice swallowed by a loud clap of thunder.

Eerie, how the weather seemed to match my mood. I shook my head as if that would get rid of the haze Alex put me in. Undeniably, he held something over me. What, exactly, I'm not quite sure.

“You wouldn't believe me,” he called back before turning to face me.

“Try me,” I shot back, annoyed that he would think that of me.

“I had feelings for you.”