Reason to Be

I fell to the ground. I was so tired but all Daniel could do was look at me with that same pleading gaze. It twisted my hardened heart and I felt guilty for the first time in many years.

But I knew I couldn’t love him. At least, not in the way he wanted me to. He was my best friend.

“Daniel…” I started, but he cut me off quickly.

“Don’t say anything Belle. We’re almost there so there was probably no point in showing you that. But you needed to know.”

“Yes, I did!” I replied. “Why couldn’t you tell me how you felt? You’ve blocked that out of your thoughts pretty well.”

“You didn’t want to know,” he replied. “I never blocked it out. You just never saw what you weren’t looking for. You’re always doing something Belle, so much so that you ignore everything around you. And you always want something you can’t have.”

“If you’re referring to what I think you’re referring to-”

“I’m not referring to anything. This has nothing to do with Turner, this is about you. We can all see that you’re not going to go through with the plan.”

“How can any of you know that?!” I said, my voice rising in volume. “I have given up everything for you guys. You can’t think that some kid is going to change that. You’re family,” I finished, as I realised how loud I’d gotten and brought my voice down. “I wouldn’t do that to you.”

“But you’re in love with him,” Daniel started as I stood up and went to see how far away the ship from his tribe was.

“I am not.”

“Standard denial,” he continued. “If you’re not, prove it.”

I turned around impatiently and pulled Daniel roughly by his collar down to my height. I pressed my lips to his which were surprisingly gentle. He moved his hand around my back and pulled me closer to him. But I pulled away and wormed myself out of his hold.

“I knew you felt something for me,” he said as I stared out at the water blankly.

“I love you because you’re my best friend,” I replied without turning around. “But I can’t be with you. To love someone that intensely can only cause pain – I learnt that a long time ago.”

“Then why did you just kiss me?”

“To prove a point,” I replied as I saw William come up on deck. I looked back at Daniel before scampering over to see him and touching my lips to his too. Looking back at Daniel I continued, “It doesn’t mean anything if your heart is incapable of that kind of love. Mine is.”

And I walked into my cabin almost regretting my lie as Daniel’s and William’s eyes followed my retreating back until they could no longer see me.

xxxxx

“Why am I still here?” I murmured to myself as I changed into my worn out comfortable boots and searched through my clothes to find my sword. Daniel and William were making my life hell - especially emotionally. I was thinking seriously of just throwing the whole plan in and leaving Elizabeth Turner to her well-earned fate. But I knew I couldn’t do that.

“You forgave her,” I said to myself. “Remember that?”

Unfortunately I did. But I didn’t really want to. I was so ready to give up.

Then inspiration struck and I found myself running outside just as we were being boarded by Daniel’s old tribe; who were all looking older and more fearsome.

“Darè,” Daniel said, boldly walking up to him.

“Daniel,” he replied by way of greeting, but looking past him he saw me and his eyes widened in surprise. “And the girl who does not appeared to have aged a day.”

“Nice to see you too Darè,” I interjected as I walked up to Daniel. “Tortured anybody else lately?”

“Belle,” Daniel warned under his breath. “If you want their help I wouldn’t suggest getting on their wrong end.”

What? I thought toward him. It’s not as if it’s not true.

“No,” he responded. “I can’t say I have. But it seems you have not yet learnt your lesson. Daniel has long been banished and we expected that your own experience would be enough to keep you from returning.”

“I’ve never been one for running,” I replied strongly. “I believe that we have a mutual goal.”

“And that is?”
“We both need protection. I need someone watching my back as I attempt to rescue Elizabeth Turner and you need the crew of the Reaper dismembered to satisfy the wrongs they did your people long ago. I think we can come to some sort of agreement.”

Darè looked me up and down. “You may not have aged on your face – but your mind is much sharper than it was.”

“So…do we have an accord?” I held out my hand.

“Yes,” Darè replied after a moment’s hesitation, taking my hand and shaking it. “I think we do.”

“Excellent,” I smiled. “So, are we talking strategies here or…”

“We will return to the island,” Darè said. “There we will be safer.”