Trail Runners

”Hello Keylie, this is Dick Hartford, Director of Human Resources, calling from the Adventure Science Center in Nashville, Tennessee. I’m calling on behalf. . . ”

The Adventure Science Center? Nashville, Tennessee? I frowned. I applied for a job there months ago. My dream job was working at a science museum for children and the Adventure Science Center in Nashville, Tennessee was one of the best science museums for children.

”. . .sorry for your loss—“

I stared at the answering machine, scowling. ’Sorry for your loss’, how did they know about that? I never mentioned that in my application.

”—hard time for you. . .until the end of the summer to decide. . .start as soon as possible. . . Please call me anytime at. . .deadline for your decision is September 1st. Thank you and have a wonderful day.”

A click sounded as the phone hung up. I stared at the answering machine for a while, before pressing the save button in the upper left corner of the machine.

Neil was right. Everything was going to catch up to me sooner or later. Right now, it felt like everything I had been through was on top of me, squashing me into the ground – all because of one little message.

I knew what I needed to do, but was I willing to take the risk in doing it? Yes, I was.

It was nearly four o’clock in the afternoon when I stepped out the door shutting it quickly behind me. I scanned the house in front of me nervously. The orange motorcycle was absent from the driveway easing my nerves a little bit. Even so, I took off from the porch like a shot running down the dirt road until I came to the nonexistent entrance of the trail I had run earlier this morning. Leaping over the ground hugging shrubs I ran at full speed, scared to look back.

I didn’t stop running until I absolutely had too. I collapsed near the end of the trail, my knees sinking into the rich brown soil. Somehow the pain shooting through my legs and the fact that the bottom of my feet felt like I had been walking on crushed egg shells was refreshing. It reminded that I was alive, I guess.

Breathing heavily, I wiped the beads of sweat off my face. It didn’t matter though; the loose strains of mahogany red hair no longer held back by the hair tie still stuck to my face. My mouth was completely dry; my throat scratchy.

I knew I couldn’t keep doing this to myself. But it helped. It helped me forget about her, even if it was just for a moment.

I needed a moment to breathe. I needed a moment to gather myself and then take off again.

The sound of a motor bike slowing down on the gravel pulled me from my reverie. It reminded me that he still didn’t know I was here, he still didn’t know about her, and that I needed to get away. Fast.

I pulled myself off the ground, ignoring the aching sensation in my legs and feet. I had a choice; I could walk to my house via the gravel road, or I could turn around and walk a mile back and then go through the dense forest to get home. I choose the latter.

Silently and slowly I made my way down the trail, before finding the point that would take me through the dense forest and then to my house.

It wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be, considering the underbrush was thick with vines of kudzu and other types of ivy. I crawled over fallen rotten tree trunks, and pushed my way through dense bushes with thorns on the branches. I managed to stay mostly away from poison ivy and oak, only managing to have a few times where it was impossible not to touch them – I’d just have to take a long shower when I got home.

I knew I was about a third of the way home when the sun started to set, not that I could see much of the sun due to the emerald leaves above my head. The sun setting meant it had to be sometime around eight; I had no idea that I had been outside for that long.

A sudden sound made me stop. It was someone singing along to some soft, ballad music.

“On sleepless roads the sleepless go. May angels lead you in.” I could faintly make out the song Hear You Me by Jimmy Eat World. I froze. I didn’t understand who would be out here at this hour singing to Jimmy Eat World in the middle of emerald leaves. Judging by the voice it was definitely a man.

And he was good.

I crept towards the music as quietly as one could when walking across a floor cover in dead, crunchy tree leaves.

Then I saw it. It was a small meadow, filled with shin length brown grass. It looked dead. I couldn’t find the person singing, but I wasn’t brave enough to venture further into the field.

“And if you were with me tonight, I’d sing to you just one more time. A song for a heart so big, God couldn’t let it live.” the person continued singing. His voice was soft and gentle, but you could tell that he was in some kind of pain, whether it is emotional or physical I do not know.

“Riley. . .” I whispered after, continuing to listen to the soft, rough voice sing. I stood still, my eyes widening at the voice I now recognized.

He smiled softly, his hand brushing her frizzy red hair out of her face, his fingers leaving a trail of burning flesh across her smooth, silky skin. “You’re so beautiful,” he whispered, pushing her down into the soft grass full of the blooming lavender lilies that only bloomed during the spring.
He kissed her softly, his hand rested on the inside of her shirt, igniting an intense flame inside her stomach. His other hand was tangled in her wavy red hair, his body flush against hers. “I love you, Keylie.” He hummed breathlessly while breathing in her scent.
He needed her, more than she would ever know. Hearing her whisper ‘I love you too, Brian’ was like heavenly music to his ears. She was his red haired angel. He’d run until his legs stopped working, he’d run to the ends of the earth, he’d run until time stopped, he’d run forever.
All for her.

Tears rolled down my check as I remember what took place in the now lifeless meadow.

Ragged breathing joined in with the soft breeze as the two bodies twisted, fusing together like two clichéd puzzle pieces. Together they moved as one in the meadow, a place so magical it couldn’t possibly be real, but neither cared about the world around them, only caring about each other.
It was only them. They were in love, and that’s all that mattered at the moment.

“Why?” Brian sobbed at the end of the song. “Why’d you leave? I loved you. . . I love you. . .”

She could see him now, leaning against a rock, his orange back close behind. Tears glistened on his cheek; they fell like rain down mine.

“What did I do wrong? I need you. . .I love you. . .Keylie where are you? I miss you so much. Just. . .just come home. . . Come home. . .to me. . .please.” he sat there silently, staring up at the open sky.

“Brian,” I whispered.

I wanted to run out to him, and hug him, kiss him, tell him that I loved him, but I couldn’t. My legs felt like heavy weights that I could not move. His head snapped in my direction, and he squinted his watery steel blue eyes in an attempt to search for me. He couldn’t see me though, but I could see he him.

Brian closed his eyes a few moments later, his shaggy brown hair moving in the wind. His leather jacket was left unzipped, causing him to shiver whenever the cold breeze penetrated the gray t-shirt he was wearing, which was often. “Sometimes, I think I hear you. Your voice is like a whisper in the wind.” He paused for a long moment, “I tried so hard to live without you, but I can’t do it. I can’t live without you, Keylie. I need you in my life. I need you Keylie, to live.”

A moment later he got up, wiping his eyes with the sleeve of his black leather jacket before mounting his bike. “I love you.” He said before leaving the meadow behind, his bike revving loudly until it faded into the wind.

I slumped against the tree I was leaning on, completely ignoring the poison ivy all over the trunk. “I love you too.”

--

I stared silently at the pictures in my hands. It was of me and Brian. He was standing behind me, with his arms wrapped around me. He was so happy, it was easy to tell that he loved me with everything he had; I was happy. We were both looking at the camera, big grins on our faces, but I could only think about her – Riley, the little girl whose duffel bag was at the end of my bed – and the words “A song for a heart so big, God couldn’t let it live.”

I needed Brian more than ever, but I had too much pride to walk over to the house across the street, to talk to him.

“Sweetheart.” the sound of the word made me jump, only to relax back into the comfortable couch when my father sat next to me. “It’s two in the morning, sweetheart. You’ve been down here all night. You need to go to bed, get some sleep.”

I nodded in agreement. I was tired, but I didn’t want to go to asleep, in fear of the dreams that would come in the wake of my sleep. Neil sighed softly, pulling me close and kissing my forehead. “He still loves you, you know.”

“I know.” I smiled, my thumb running across the glass where Brian’s smiling face was.

“He misses you,” Neil informed me.

I sighed, and nodded closing my eyes. I could picture her now. She looked so much like her father except for her red hair. Her soft steel blue eyes, her smiling face that was covered in freckles, the nose that would make any girl jealous, and the adorable cleft chin she inherited from her father. Even with all the baby fat she was gorgeous.

“I miss both of them,” I cried, “So much.”

Neil hugged me harder, squeezing tightly around my middle causing the picture to be pressed against my chest. “She wouldn’t want you to be sad, sweetheart.”

“But I miss her.” I missed her so much. She was all smiles all the time. She always saw the bright side of everything, even if she was only four. “It hurts, daddy.” I cried into his shoulder, “So bad.”

“I know, Keylie, I know.” Neil said sincerely. “But I cant help you anymore than I already have. The rest is up to you. . .and Brian.”

I pulled away from him, looking at him with a questioning face. I knew in my mind what he was about to say, but I didn’t want to believe myself.

“He’s the only one that can help you through this.”

“Yeah but–“

“No buts. She was his too, he deserves to know.”

He did deserve to know, but I just couldn’t bring myself to even talk to him. I was a coward to the highest degree of the word. He would surely hate me afterward, right? I mean, I would hate me. I would never speak to me again if I was him.

He wont love me after I tell him, I thought. It was the justification I had for not telling him. He will hate me, and I’ll still be head over heels for him. I wouldn’t be able to handle the pain that follows.

I would die. And the only thing I would have left would be my dreams.