Save Me

I sat on the couch in the living room flicking through the channels on the TV until I stopped at WWE Superstars. That was something I had adored as a kid, I just had nobody to share my interests with. My mom would always complain about the fact that I liked watching people getting beat up; she said that it wasn’t a “good influence” on me. I knew it was purely for entertainment though and it sure as hell entertained me.

I watched as CM Punk slowly walked down toward the ring to face Booker T. I stared at the TV in awe as the crowd roared when CM slid one leg after another over the thick red ropes to enter the ring. Things were starting to get interesting but I was interrupted when someone took the remote control from my side and changed the channel.

“Hey I was watching that!” I shouted before looking up to find Jared hovering over me on the couch. My blood turned cold and I could feel the colour draining out of my face.

“What’re you going to do about it Roxanne?” He scoffed, jumping over the back of the couch and lying down invading my space.

“Ugh. Take it. I’d rather be anywhere else in the world than in your company, you bastard.” I hissed, quickly standing up and chucking the cushion that was on my lap at the now empty space on the couch.

I stormed out of the room to the sound of Jared laughing hysterically. I really loathed that kid. Ever since day 1 of my arrival in this dump he was adamant to make my life hell and needless to say, he’d been doing a damn good job of it.

I walked into my bedroom closing the door behind me. I slowly slid down the back of the door so I was squatted down on the floor. I ran a hand through my hair and placed my head in my hands for a few minutes just to cool off.

I looked up to the desk that was situated by the window and smiled slightly at the notepad that was placed on top. I picked myself up off the floor and took a pen from my bedside drawer before walking over to my desk and setting myself down on the chair. I opened it up to the next clean page and let my feelings take control.

Hey Zacky,
I’m so sorry that it’s taken me so long to write. I’m on week 6 at this hellhole now and nothing’s changed. My life is still worse as ever before. I’m considering running away from this place y’know. I hate it.

Thank you for the present though, I love the cologne. I wear my Vengeance University top to bed and I spray it with the cologne so that I know after the clouds, the sun will eventually show. I hope you understand what I mean by that?

Anyway, I hope your tour is going well and don’t forget to tell Jimmy, Matt, Johnny and Brian that they are always in my thoughts.
Love,
Roxy x

I stared at the page for what seemed like forever, collecting my thoughts and coming to a conclusion in my head. I placed a light kiss on the paper before folding it neatly and placing it into the bin in the corner of my room. I took the lighter from my pocket and carefully set the bin alight. I stood back and watched its contents burn whilst igniting vibrant shades of orange and yellow. The flames burned higher and the smoke started to fog up my room but still I stood there, just watching.

I thought carefully about how long it’d take me to pass out from smoke inhalation as it rapidly filled the room. I just stood still, transfixed on the flames growing bigger and the room fogging up with the blackness of the smoke. But then I thought of Zacky. I thought of how devastated he would be to find out that I’d contemplated – even attempted and succeeded – suicide. I traced over the words from his note in my head. There’s not a day that goes by where I don’t regret leaving you in Cali.

I shook my head violently, astonished by what I was actually considering. I started to cough heavily so I covered my nose and mouth with my treasured Vengeance University top. I searched frantically for the door fingering my way around the obstacles in my room but I couldn’t find it. I started to panic and the air to my lungs was restricted by the smoke making me gasp in small breaths. I started to feel dizzy as the circulation to my brain cut short and I collapsed to the floor.



I vaguely opened my eyes to see a very enraged Lara – my social worker – looking down at me. I rubbed my eyes and sat up gently.

“Oh good, you’re awake” She said sarcastically.

I looked around to find myself lying on the couch in her office, my Vengeance University top and Zack’s cologne led next to me… but no note. I bolted upright looking for the note but I couldn’t see it anywhere.

“Lara have you seen a note anywhere?” I asked frenzied.

“Forget your note Roxanne. You’re in a lot of trouble, you could have killed someone!” Lara snarled, throwing her hands into the air.

“Oh don’t be so dramatic Lara; I would have put it out.” I mumbled whilst rolling my eyes.

“But you wouldn’t have Roxanne, you passed out. How stupid can you get?! You’re not going back there now. You have no home; I hope you’re happy with what you’ve done.” She hissed.
I smiled contently and replied with a simple “nothing new there then.”

Lara shot daggers at me but I shook it off and gathered my belongings. She turned hastily on her heel and stormed out of the room. I stood up steadily and brushed myself down, I checked to see that the coast was clear and made my way over to her computer to see if she had Zacky’s phone number on record.

I scrolled through the files quickly, checking behind me every now and again to see if I was going to be caught out on my scheme. I filtered my search to ‘Zachary Baker’ and to my fortune 1 file showed up. I scanned through the documents as quick as I could to locate Zacky’s number – but something caught my eye.

My eyes traced over the words at least 4 times before my brain had it registered.
“Zachary James Baker, 28 – paperwork application for legal guardianship over Roxanne Smitley: ACCEPTED”

My heart sank into the pit of my stomach as a smile quickly washed over my face. He must have filed the paperwork for analysis before leaving for tour. I punched the air with excitement completely forgetting that I was breaching the rules by accessing confidential documentation. I took hold of the mouse quickly to close the document but was instead greeted with a sharp “uh-hmmm”.

My head snapped in the direction of the voice and to my disarray I was facing the shaking head of Lara. I looked at her apologetically but she didn’t take any of it.

“You know those files are private, Roxanne.” She spat, frowning her brow at me.

I smiled angelically, trying to hold in the happiness that had overcome me. She pursed her lips at me before waving a white envelope in my direction.

“Here, I suppose you had better read this.” She said, handing me the letter.