Letters From Cages

My tires felt thick on top of the road, as if they were weighing my car down making it drive slow and cautiously. Or maybe it was just me freaking out and not having the ability to step on the gas pedal. It was one of the two I had decided as I turned onto the main road and towards Filmot Glen. My stomach felt in knots and a bead of sweat was gathering on my forehead ready to fall, even though it was freezing in my car and was raining bullets outside. I reached forward towards the vent that was supposed to be blasting warm air but instead stale cold air came out of them. I sighed and distractedly drummed my fingers on the steering wheel.

Was I doing the right thing? Should I be driving, by myself, to a house where I know nice things don’t happen? What do I think they’re going to do to me when I go inside? Make me tea and crumpets?

I pulled my car to the side of the road and screeched my car to a halt. I was stupid. So stupid. Was I seriously thinking I'd just waltz right up there and expect them to tell me the truth and then let me walk out of there the same way I walked in? I’d end up just like Daniel Cody, just like Carter had told me.

I wanted to call Adam and tell him what was going on, but some part of me was holding back. I know for one that he’d tell me I was being stupid for even considering going over there, but I also know that things were still awkward between us. We hadn’t talked and he hadn’t called to wish me a happy birthday, so I assume that means we’re not really on speaking terms.

I ran my fingers through my hair, not really knowing what to do. I was confused, and scared, but most of all I just wanted to know what this was all about. Why did this happen? Why was the only person I ever loved, the only person who ever understood me behind bars while I sat in the car on the side of the road completely lost?

All of a sudden there was a loud pounding noise on my window that made me almost jolt out of my seat. A gasp escaped my lips as I saw a figure whose fist was banging against my fogged window. I looked to make sure my car was still locked and cautiously leaned over to wipe my sleeve on the window. I widened my eyes and my lungs felt as if they closed in my throat as it revealed to be Jerry McDowell’s face staring right back at me. A small smile was curled at the side of his mouth and a few strands his wet dark blonde hair were plastered to his forehead from the rain.

My heart rate sped up and I panicked. I didn’t know what to do. He obviously wanted to come inside my car, which just sounded like a terrible terrible idea. I couldn’t even guess what he’d do to me if he had me in the car on a dark rainy afternoon. It was almost dark out in general…

I almost scoffed at a sudden realization... how stupid was I? I wouldn’t let Jerry into my car but yet I thought it was completely suitable to go inside Nigel Crow’s home?

Jerry hit his fists against my window again, making me jump.

“Hey!” He yelled over the rain. Thunder clapped low in the sky and then exactly seven seconds later a flash of lightning lit up the sky for a quick second, and then disappeared. “Hey Gwenith! I'm kind of standing in the rain here, do you mind helping a guy out with a ride?”

I slowly pressed the button on my door to roll down the passenger side window and suddenly Jerry’s handsome yet extremely intimidating face was in full view. He realized I hadn’t locked the door yet and he put his hands up in the air like a police officer would demand someone to do, as if he was letting me know that he wasn’t going to hurt me.

“Gwenith, c’mon, it’s freezing out here and the place is only about a mile away,” He insisted. He grinned his perfectly straight teeth at me and leaned into my car a little bit, causing me to lean back away from him. “Sorry, just trying to get some part of me out the rain.” He laughed, which caught me off guard. I had never ever heard Jerry McDowell laugh.

“I don’t think I… it’s probably not the best…” I stammered. Jerry sighed, his head already in my car.

“Gwen,” I flinched at his shortening of my name. Carter was the only one who ever called me that.. and my mother. “I know that I haven’t been the nicest guy to you when you were going out with Carter, but I can explain why and everything if you just let me in. I think I’m catching pneumonia.” Another laugh. He laughed again. My eyebrows scrunched in confusion. Was this the same guy I knew that scowled whenever I was near him and gave me dirty glares with his dark eyes? I knew something was up, I couldn’t trust him.

I saw Jerry’s hand reach down towards my unlock button on the passenger side door but I quickly rolled up the window, making his head jolt up with it. Jerry chuckled and put his hands in the air again.

“Sorry, sorry, shouldn’t have done that,” He said.

“No, you shouldn’t have,” I said quietly. I didn’t understand why I wasn’t just driving away already. Maybe it was because part of me was truly wondering what he would say to me if I let him in. What his excuses were for being so awful to me when I did nothing wrong. Part of me, mainly most of me, just wanted to know the truth, which was exactly why I was driving to Filmot Glen in the first place.

“You can even search me if you want, I do not possess any weapons or narcotics,” He said in a playful manner which made me feel even more confused.

I debated and debated and soon it seemed like a lifetime, but Jerry still stood there with his crooked smile and his dimpled cheek. Stupid little rich boy pretending to be tough. It made me want to laugh, but my throat felt too closed up to even try. I finally relinquished my extreme hesitance, and with a shaky hand, pressed onto the unlock button. The unlocking made a click sound, which almost echoed in my head as Jerry pulled on the door handle and let himself in. He was soaked from head to toe and I winced as he sat on the seat.

“Thank you,” He said. “Just keep going straight on this road.”

I stared at him for a few seconds and he slowly turned his glance to me before running his hands through his wet hair. I started the car and slowly pulled out and onto the road, where I drove only about 25 miles per hour. My hands were clutched tight against the wheel, and I was waiting for him to reach over and attack me any minute. If Adam knew I had Jerry McDowell in my car right now, he’d absolutely go ballistic.

“So…” I said quietly. My voice sounded small and meek, like it did when I was in high school, when I was afraid to speak my mind. I shook my head, as if to tell myself to pull it together. I was in control of this car and damnit I was going to be in control of this situation. “So, am I taking you to your father’s mansion or… possibly his other one?”

Jerry tensed in his seat and I knew I hit some type of nerve. But as if what I said didn't affect him at all, his body relaxed and he let out a small, sultry kind of laugh. If he wasn’t so scary I would have thought it was charming.

“Sadly, no, you can take me to… a friend’s house. It’s where I stay most of the time,” He replied and leaned back in the seat. He looked over to his right and grabbed the seatbelt and pulled it over him. “Safety first!” He quipped and my mouth just stayed ajar, wondering if I was actually speaking to the Jerry I had come to purely detest.

“Aren’t you going to ask how I know about your father?” I asked, still driving straight on the road.

“Well, I’m thinking Carter probably told you that my father was the one he was interning for – turn left up here.”

I turned left.

“That’s not how I found out,” I replied. Jerry raised his eyebrows and ran his fingers through his hair again.

“Ah, well, that's understandable. Carter did keep a lot of things from you. I know a lot about you too, Gwenith,” He responded. “But I’m not about to go spewing out it like you just did."

“Then what do you want to do?” I asked. “You found me. You asked me for a ride when you could have asked one of your… your friends to pick you up. There’s a reason you’re in my car right now. And there’s a reason Carter is in jail and not you.”

I had said the last sentence very quietly, but I knew Jerry heard me. And much to my surprise he let out an even louder laugh than the one he had before. I jumped, startled by it and he let out a loud sigh, as if what I said was the funniest, most comical thing he had ever heard.

“You actually believe Carter is innocent?” He laughed again. “Oh man, that is hilarious – take a right up here, at the stop sign. Man, that’s funny. Gwenith you really are as naïve as I perceived you to be. I was right all along.”

I stared at him, intensity in my eyes, and I realized that they were stinging, ready to let unshed tears fall. I shook them back and coughed. Thunder roared again, feeling as if it was shaking my car. I could imagine my dad saying “A big storm is comin’!”

“Stop it, I’m not naïve, and I am definitely not stupid. I know everything, Jerry. I know what you guys did,” I spat. Jerry raised his eyebrows at me and flashed me another grin. He probably thought that this was a fun little game.

“You’re a silly girl, Gwenith Hewlett,” He retorted. “Hey look we’re here.”

I stopped and exhaled some breath I hadn’t realized I was holding in because there we were, right in front of the house on Filmot Glen. I hadn't even been paying attention, but Jerry was leading me right to the destination I had planned.



It was the fourth night in a row that Carter had come in late, and it had been weeks since he has been acting strange and distant. It was almost two-thirty in the morning as I sat on our couch in the living room feeling anger pulsate through my veins. I didn’t want to seem like such a clingy girlfriend, but when I kept getting little scribbled letters and notes hanging on our refrigerator under a magnet of a porcupine saying “Hey now, I’ve got a soft side.” (Carter thought it was hilarious and bought it immediately), saying “I’ll be out late tonight, don’t wait up for me and I’ll see you in the morning!’.

It was becoming unbearable. I’d hear him come in around two or three, smelling of cigarettes and old cars. I knew where he was. I knew he drove the half hour to our old town to visit Jerry and that whole group.

It was stupid of me to be jealous, but I was so damn jealous! I couldn’t tell if it was because of the time he was spending with them, or if it was because he always seemed so happy the mornings after he came back, as if what he was doing with them was some fun secretive game that he was a part of and no one else was. If I hadn’t known better, I would have thought Carter liked being around them... of men, more than normal. He seemed to enjoy their company that much. I closed my eyes tightly at the thought, trying to whisk it away. It couldn't be that. There was absolutely no way.

All of a sudden I heard the sound of our door unlocking, a small click, and then another, and then the door slowly creaked open. Carter walked in the door and the same smell of cigarettes and car parts filled the air. I knew he didn’t smoke, but I knew Jerry, Marco and Charlie all did. He placed his keys on the counter by the door and closed it, and I took that as my queue to cough loudly. He jumped and then looked over at me.

“Jeez, Gwen I didn’t realize you were there, way to give me a heart attack!” He said and placed his wallet on the counter and then turned to me. “What are you still doing up? Did you get my note?”

“Yes, I got your note,” I replied. Carter walked forward and sat down on the couch near me. He touched my arm and I pulled away. I knew I was being overdramatic but I didn’t know of any other way to prove my point.

“What’s wrong?” He asked.

“I’m just wondering what you’re doing so late at night,” I replied. He gave me an apprehensive look and I shot him another look back. “Okay, I know, I sound like a total freak-show of a girlfriend right now, but I’d be completely okay with you going out with friends and doing what you want if I actually knew what you guys were doing over there at that old junkyard!"

Carter instinctively placed his hand on the back of my neck and rubbed his thumb along my cheek. His fingers intertwined themselves in my hair. I relaxed at this and Carter smiled, knowing that it would.

“We’re just a bunch of guys goofing off. They’re really cool and I’d invite you if you weren’t so suspicious and weird around them,” Carter replied in a light tone. I sighed. “Look, I won’t come back so late anymore. These guys are just different than my friends from high school. They care more about real things and not silly trivial things. I can relate to them I guess. I like them.”

I looked at Carter, my eyes somewhat widened, which he noticed and dropped his hand. He liked them. He liked them. Was I right? Was Carter enjoying their um… company more than me? I shuddered. What was wrong with me?

Then with sudden impulse and pure fright of the thought, I basically leaped onto Carter and connected my lips to his. He jolted back from me but I held onto him as tight as I could. He pulled away from me for a second as I was basically straddling his lap.

“Woah, Gwen what are you-” He managed to say before I cut him off again my kissing him even harder than before. This time he kissed back, but it was obvious he was still surprised at what was going on. I grabbed the bottom of his shirt and pulled it over his head and kissed him again. I placed my lips on his neck and he shuddered before finally pulling away. “Gwen, what’s gotten into you?” He asked. I looked at him and he managed a small laugh and placed his hands up. “Trust me, it’s not that I don’t like it, but what’s going on?”

I wanted to take his words as enough proof, but I couldn’t. I needed to know that he loved me more than them. It was such a selfish feeling but I couldn’t take it anymore.

I grabbed onto both of Carter’s hands and placed them on the outsides of my thighs. I was shaking, I was nervous, scared, angry, confused – almost every emotion mixed into one. I leaned forward and hovered my lips over his.

“Gwen,” He breathed.

A tear fell down my face, and I was surprised by it. Carter saw it and lifted his hand off of my leg to wipe it away. I embarrassingly had my head down but he lifted it up so I would look him in the eye.

“Please just tell me you love me more than them,” I said quietly. I almost rolled my eyes out how absurd I sounded but I needed to hear it. I needed to.

“What in the world? Gwen,” He repeated and placed both of his hands on my shoulders. I leaned into him. “I love you more than anyone in this entire world and I am so sorry I haven’t made that clear enough. Don't you dare think I don't love you for a second.”

I leaned back to look him in the eye, and I could tell he was being honest. I let out a small, childish little sob and pulled him close to me like he was the only thing I had. I felt so clingy, so desperate, so in need of attention at that moment. Carter kissed my collar bone, and then my neck and finally reached my mouth. He kissed me softly and stroked the back of my hair.

“I love you more than anyone in this entire world,” He repeated while fiddling with the bottom of my shirt. I helped him lift it over my head.



“You knew I was coming here,” I said to Jerry as we both faced the old looking house with the too-large front porch. The heavy rain was causing a flood in the small front yard, making a huge mud puddle, and I awkwardly turned to face him.

“What are you talking about?” He replied. “This is where Marco lives, you’re just dropping me off. You wanted to come see Marco?”

“Stop it,” I seethed. “Stop acting like you have no idea what I’m talking about. Marco doesn’t live here, Nigel Crow does.”

“Nigel Crow?” Jerry asked. “Never heard of him.”

What came next surprised the both of us. My hand met contact with his cheek as I slapped Jerry hard across the face. He looked startled and so did I and I slowly crept farther from him in my seat, afraid of what he would do. He reached up and touched the already red mark on his cheek and looked at me with anger in his eyes.

“What the hell was that for?!” He said loudly. I tried to keep my cool and fiddled with my seatbelt.

“Stop lying to me,” I said almost inaudibly.

“I’m sorry. What’d you say? I couldn’t hear you.”

“I said stop lying to me!” I shouted. Jerry smirked and I wanted to slap him in the face all over again. “I know what you are all doing. I know everything. I know that Nigel Crow, the almost convicted jewelry fraud helped you guys into knowing just what to look for in the Cody’s safe. I know that Daniel caught all of you, and I know that you killed him. I know that you framed Carter.”

Jerry turned to me and chuckled, literally chuckled from his stomach. If he kept up this laughing in my face thing, I knew I was going to snap.

“Well, that was nice speech,” He said playfully. He then leaned closer to me, and in response I leaned back against my side of the car. He grinned and leaned back into his seat. “Now, Gwenny, are you ready to come inside and hear the real story?”