Don't Look Away Because Dreams Only Last for a Night

Kate

I got back to set with a lot of questions.

“Where did you run off to?”

“Do you know how long you were gone?”

“What could be more important right now?”

Blah. Blah. Blah.

I don’t care about any of that right now, just about my brother.

I wanted to hate Alex for assuming I slept with his friend, hence my boyfriend, but I couldn’t. He was so upset that I couldn’t bring myself to ever be mad at him again.

I got home and Bethany was there.

“Hey" I said as I sat on a stool at our kitchen.

“Hey, I heard you ran away from set today?” she asked as she stood at the counter.

“Ok, I did not run away. I needed some air and I ran into Alex”

“Is it good or bad?” she asked.

“Good, but bad”

“How so?”

“It was good because we weren’t fighting, but bad because he was depressed”

“Depressed? What does he have to be depressed about, isn’t he a rock star?”

“Ok, I’ve never told anyone this, only close friends to our family know, so yes Zack obviously knows, but I have another brother” I stopped as she looked at me to continue. “But he died years ago” I said as her mouth opened as if she were to say something, but I knew she was too shocked to say anything.

“His name as Matt and he wanted to be a musician too, him and Alex were going to be in a band once they got older” I explained.

“Is he older than you?”

“Yeah, he was the oldest” I said as she nodded, as if a sign for me to continue with my story. “Our mom left us, our family to pursue a career in music, she never made it big here, in Europe a little bit for some time. She lives there now, and I haven’t talked to her in, oh about eight years”

“Wow”

“I know, my dad became a workaholic and we never saw him after our mom left, Matt hated how our family just broke to pieces so quickly. He missed our mom a lot, he was a momma’s boy,” I laughed lightly as I remembered. “He committed suicide,” I cried.

“No” she said as she came over and hugged me.

“Me and Alex were getting ready to play a couple songs together with him,” I breathed heavily now.

“It’s ok, you don’t have to go on if you don’t want to”

“I want to, I’ve never told anyone and I need to let it out,” I said as she nodded once more.

“So Alex and Matt shared a room, and it wasn’t big, so the guitars were kept in the closet, and, that’s, that’s, that’s…” I was balling at this point. “That’s where we found him, in the closet hanging there” I cried as I fell into Bethany.

“On baby, it’s ok” she soothed me until I fell asleep in her arms.

********

I woke up in my bed with arms around me. I lifted my head to see Alex hugging me.

“Alex?” I said hoarsely, but he didn’t hear me. “Alex” I said louder as he shook and woke up.

“Where am I?” he asked as he looked around.

“I would ask what are you doing here?”

“Oh, right” he smiled. “I came to see you last night and Bethany told me everything that happened,” he said as he hugged me. “I never knew you never told anyone, the first thing I did was tell Jack”

“Well you knew because you were there, and you were my best friend. So nope, I’ve never let anyone know about it”

“Why did you tell Bethany?”

“She asked me what happened to me on set, and she asked why you could be depressed and it all came out” I said as I choked up again.

“It’s ok, you don’t have to cry,” he said wiping my tears.

“I know, it’s just I never really thought about the events of that day until now”

“Do you think we can put that day behind us?”

“Yes. Want to play a song. No, let’s write a song together” I said as we went downstairs and I sat at Bethany’s piano. “Grab my guitar and let’s write ok?” I asked Alex as he smiled and he grabbed my guitar to play a song.

“To everything we’re putting behind us” he said.

“To everything in our past” I said as we played.