Kids in Love

The movie was really boring both Christopher and I. I leaned on Christopher and closed my eyes. “I’m so sick of this movie.”

I heard him yawn. “I won’t disagree with you on that one. What do you want to do?”

I looked at the clock, seeing it was going on 2 in the morning. “Sleep? You seem to have the yawns over there.”

“Shut up, Dakota.” He said, laughing, getting off my bed.

“Hey.” I said quietly, my cheeks getting red.

“Yeah?” He asked, turning around to look at me.

I don’t know how to put this into words without making it seem awkward. I scooted towards the wall, patting the vacant space next to me, smiling subtly.

Christopher smiled at me, crawling into my bed with me, getting under the covers. He faced the opposite way of me. I turned and pulled him close to me, keeping my arms around his waist. He jumped slightly, but relaxed, liking this arrangement.

“Goodnight, Christopher.” I said quietly, closing my eyes, breathing in the scent of his shampoo through my nose.

“Goodnight, Dakota.”

Christopher hasn’t left me alone since last night when we fell asleep together on my bed. That normally didn’t happen; normally he’d be on the floor while I took the bed. Last night I just wanted someone to hold me, someone like Christopher. We’re best friends, we should be allowed to do that without it resulting into something more than that.

“Just admit it, Dakota.” Christopher said, pulling on my sweatshirt sleeve, making me turn around on the sidewalk, standing in front of him, getting lost in his dark eyes. I could never tell him that, though. I know if I do, our friendship will be ruined forever if we get serious and break up. I’d rather make myself suffer than lose one of my closest friends.

I smiled, shoving him a little, turning to start walking again. “There’s nothing to admit.”

“Oh come oon.” Christopher said, grabbing at my sleeve again.

I sighed, stopped walking, and turned around. He looked slightly annoyed, slightly desperate. He really wants me to admit that I like him. He really wants to date me. I want to date him, too. I couldn’t let my shield fall, though. I kept repeating to myself, “Friendship is better than a broken heart.”

Would it really result in a broken heart, though? Christopher and I have known each other for so long, we know each other inside and out. We know what and what not to do around each other. It seems like we would be perfect for each other, but what if I want something different? What if I want to find someone that’s the total opposite of me, just to try something different?

Could I really stand to hurt Christopher like that? To reject him like that for such a selfish reason? I don’t think I could bear hurting him like that. We already act like we’re dating, minus all the physical stuff. To crush him and tell him that I don’t want to be with him would break his heart, and mine.

Christopher got close to me, really close. Our bodies are practically against each other. He rested his arm on my shoulder, playing with a blonde chunk of my hair. “Why are you putting yourself through all this trouble?” He asked.

“What trou-”

“Why do you keep making yourself miserable? Why not just accept it?” He cut me off, getting that much closer to me.

My heart rate increased, my stomach fluttering like the butterflies I like to watch in the summer with Christopher. Those days are always so carefree and lazy, just laying in a warm grassy field next to your best friend, watching the butterflies go by. That was years ago, before we both knew what it meant to be in love with someone. Now it’s crystal clear to the both of us, and I’m doing a terrible job at hiding my feelings for Christopher.

“Dakota Blair, tell me how you feel about me.” Christopher said with a serious tone in his voice, bringing me out of my daydream.

I looked at him, and his eyes said that he was anxious, hoping that I’d have the same feelings towards him as he does towards me. I sighed, looking down, then back up at him again. My eyes bore into his as I placed my hand on his cheek softly. “I don’t know.” I said quietly.

“What do you mean?” Christopher asked.

“I want to be with you, I like you, a lot, Christopher James. I don’t want to ruin our friendship, though.” I said quietly.

He pulled me into a hug, and I responded almost automatically.

“We wouldn’t lose anything. It would still be us, still Christopher James and Dakota Blair.” He said, looking up at me, smiling.

I looked at his lips, having the urge to kiss him. I held myself back, not wanting anything to come out of this. I can’t be with him. It won’t be good for us.

I sighed. “I don’t think-”

Christopher’s lips met mine, his hand resting on my neck. My lips responded naturally, both hands on his waist, pulling him away slowly. “Christopher-”

“Okay, just listen, Dakota, please.” His voice sounded hurt, like I did something wrong.

I looked at him and he had a sad expression on his face.

“I like you. I’ve always liked you, there’s no denying it. Every time I’m around you I get butterflies in my stomach, I feel giggly, I’m not myself. You bring out the best in me. My feelings for you are so strong, they can hardly be classified as just friends.” He said, grabbing my hand, lacing my fingers with his.

I looked at him as he was wearing a cute little smile, which made me smile. Maybe he’s right. Maybe we are, and can be, together. I stepped a little closer to him and put my lips on his softly, leaving a slight tingle on my lips. I leaned away and smiled at Christopher. “I’m sorry. I was being selfish.”

“No, you were being protective, and you still can be.” Christopher said.

“I feel terrible, I made you wait so long for my own selfish reasons.” I said, playing with his hair.

“So you want to be with me?” Christopher asked, smiling.

I kissed him, my hand sliding down to his neck underneath his hair, the butterflies strengthening. “I’ve always wanted to be with you. I just kept telling myself otherwise.”

“I’m glad you talked yourself out of it, then.” Christopher said, blushing slightly.

I smiled and hugged him tightly before we started walking again, hand in hand.