Ten Things I Hate About Him
He Ruins Me
It had been three days since the “fight” between John and I, and there was still no word from him. I hadn’t spoken to anyone and I barely attended my classes, I felt like a piece of me had died. I lifted myself off of my bed and walked over to the charger where my cell phone laid. Looking at the screen I realized that there were thirteen missed calls, all from Haley.
“Fuck,” I sighed as I dialed my voicemail and listened to the first message.
“Hey Cassidy, I don’t know what happened this morning but I need to talk to you. John came into the house all depressed and moody. Do you know what happened?” I hit the delete button. “Cassidy seriously, I’ve given you a day to get over what ever happened but I need to talk to you. Are you okay? What happened between John and you? Call me back.” Each of the messages was the same as the last. I hit the send button and listened to the ringer on the other end. After a few seconds I heard Haley pick the other line.
“Hello?” Her voice was low and sounded like she had been sleeping.
“Hey Haley, are you up for going to the club tonight?” I said, acting like the past few days hadn’t happened.
“Oh, um, sure. I’ll pick you up in twenty minutes.”
“Thank you,” I nodded and hit the end button. I looked at myself in the mirror, my hair was standing up in several directions and I could feel the oil on my face. It’s going to take a lot of makeup to make me Club worthy, I thought turning towards my bathroom.
“Cassidy, are you ready?” I heard Haley call to me from the other side of my door. I glanced at the mirror one final time before I walked in the direction of the door. My face was covered in a layer of cover up and the small bags under my eyes were no longer visible. My hair hung in long spiral curls, framing my face perfectly. I didn’t want to toot my own horn, but I looked sexy.
“Coming,” I said as I opened the door and looked at Haley. “Hey!” My voice sounded cheerful and upbeat.
“Hey?” She questioned, raising her eyebrows. She guided me through the small dorm complex and into the parking lot. I skipped over to her car, opening the silver colored door. As we drove to the club I explained the fight me and John had, shrugging it off. She shook her head and stared at the road in front of her. I could tell she was worried about me, but knew better than to ask about it.
Within minutes we were inside of the club, the music caused my body to shake. I began to swing my hips and move into the crowd, grinding against the nearest boy I saw. For the rest of the night I sway to the music and drank from a dirty vodka bottle, letting the liquor sink into my system.
All thoughts of John left my mind and thoughts of sex and alcohol replaced them. I don’t remember what happened the rest of the night, but I knew that I had danced for hours and left with a man a little older than me. For the weeks that followed this routine became regular, every night I would go to the club and get drunk. And every night I would leave with another man and let the thoughts of John leave my mind. I was ruining myself, but no one seemed to care.
Reason number four: He ruins me.
“Fuck,” I sighed as I dialed my voicemail and listened to the first message.
“Hey Cassidy, I don’t know what happened this morning but I need to talk to you. John came into the house all depressed and moody. Do you know what happened?” I hit the delete button. “Cassidy seriously, I’ve given you a day to get over what ever happened but I need to talk to you. Are you okay? What happened between John and you? Call me back.” Each of the messages was the same as the last. I hit the send button and listened to the ringer on the other end. After a few seconds I heard Haley pick the other line.
“Hello?” Her voice was low and sounded like she had been sleeping.
“Hey Haley, are you up for going to the club tonight?” I said, acting like the past few days hadn’t happened.
“Oh, um, sure. I’ll pick you up in twenty minutes.”
“Thank you,” I nodded and hit the end button. I looked at myself in the mirror, my hair was standing up in several directions and I could feel the oil on my face. It’s going to take a lot of makeup to make me Club worthy, I thought turning towards my bathroom.
“Cassidy, are you ready?” I heard Haley call to me from the other side of my door. I glanced at the mirror one final time before I walked in the direction of the door. My face was covered in a layer of cover up and the small bags under my eyes were no longer visible. My hair hung in long spiral curls, framing my face perfectly. I didn’t want to toot my own horn, but I looked sexy.
“Coming,” I said as I opened the door and looked at Haley. “Hey!” My voice sounded cheerful and upbeat.
“Hey?” She questioned, raising her eyebrows. She guided me through the small dorm complex and into the parking lot. I skipped over to her car, opening the silver colored door. As we drove to the club I explained the fight me and John had, shrugging it off. She shook her head and stared at the road in front of her. I could tell she was worried about me, but knew better than to ask about it.
Within minutes we were inside of the club, the music caused my body to shake. I began to swing my hips and move into the crowd, grinding against the nearest boy I saw. For the rest of the night I sway to the music and drank from a dirty vodka bottle, letting the liquor sink into my system.
All thoughts of John left my mind and thoughts of sex and alcohol replaced them. I don’t remember what happened the rest of the night, but I knew that I had danced for hours and left with a man a little older than me. For the weeks that followed this routine became regular, every night I would go to the club and get drunk. And every night I would leave with another man and let the thoughts of John leave my mind. I was ruining myself, but no one seemed to care.
Reason number four: He ruins me.