How to Save the Universe

Who is this? A traveller appears.

...In one of the many unlighted alleyways, off one of the many streets in the large city of London, one of the many homeless men was digging through one of the many dumpsters...

"Look a' this! Look a' this! These chips are still warm! Yampy rich folk's is always tossing the best stuff," said the scruffy man as he pulled a bag of McDonald's fries from the rotting trash.

Still grumbling, the man sat down on a crate munching on his fries. Pulling a small vodka bottle from his pocket the scruffy man took a good swig, gulping the alcohol down greedily.

It was few minutes later, just as the scruffy looking man was almost finished with his "chips," a strange noise came from the back of the alley. The man jumped up, dropping his fries in the process.

"Sneak! Who's there? Show you'self! I'm warning you I'm armed!" Fumbling the man pulled a swiss army knife from his pants pocket. With shaky hands he tries to flip open one of the longer blades as he yells out into the dark,

"Oy! Jus' back off now ya hear?! I'm not afraid!"

The noise becomes louder now, and more distinct as an orange glow appears bouncing off the aluminum cans and other miscellaneous filth of the alley.

The homeless man is breathing heavily now, he's finally managed to pull open his blade and hurriedly he points it towards the light and the loud sound that he know recognized as... music??

"What the bloody hell is going on here?!" He yelled.

Yes, that's what it is, music. A loud throbbing beat, the kind of music all the kids "dance" to these days, that annoying electronic stuff. He didn't know how anyone could call it music. But it was definitely getting louder and that orange light was getting brighter.

"I really need to stop drinking..." muttered the man as he nervously fingered the bottle of vodka. Pulling it out and unscrewing the cap, he hesitantly lifts it to his lips, only to bring it down again.

"Bloody hell."

Brighter and brighter the orange glow illuminated every corner of the alley as if it were midday, instead of 1 o'clock in the morning.

The homeless man could now hear the sound of voices, talking, shouting, and for all the world sounding like they were under water.

And then he heard the laughter.

At first it was very faint but it grew louder and louder as the light grew brighter still. The laughter echoed through the alley, eerily bouncing off the brick windowless walls.

It was a long hard laugh, the kind that came right up from your belly and shook your whole body.

-The kind of laughter you only made when you've heard the funniest thing in your life.

Or when you were absolutely insane.

"Gawd Blimey!" Terrified the scruffy man turned ghostly pale under his grime, "It's gotta be those bloody aliens 'gain! I ain't letting 'em probe me!" The homeless man turned tale and ran, dropping his vodka bottle and his army knife and screaming in the process.

In the alleyway the orange light was still getting brighter, seeming to emanate from a central point that was beginning to vaguely resemble the outline of a person...

The music, the voices and the laughter all grew louder and louder until at once there was a loud-

CRACK

And then the light was gone as were the voices and the music. But the laughter was still there albeit much quieter now and the source was obvious.

Now standing in the center of the alley, doubled over in laughter stood a 20-something blonde girl. The laughter finally subsiding the girl straighten up and in a mid-western American accent said:

"Whew! Those Q really know how to party!"