How to Save the Universe

What is pain? Thanks for the memories

Alaina opened her eyes and stretched luxuriously under her purple comforter. The warm morning sun streamed through her windows painting the walls and floor in a lemony yellow.

Alaina yawned, rubbed her eyes and sat up, ignoring the meow of protest from the dark gray cat at the bottom of her bed. She glanced over her shoulder at her alarm clock. It was dark. Alaina got up and walked over to the light switch, she flicked it up and down several times but nothing happened.

Alaina groaned, "Great, the power's out. I better go check the breaker." Alaina padded out of her room--still in her happy bunny pj's-- and immediately started hopping up and down on the cold hard wood floors.

"Brr! That's freakin' cold!!" She glanced out the window at the bright sunshiny day and glared, "You tricked me. Stupid Sun." Alaina continued down the hallway (on the balls of her feet, trying to expose as little of her feet to the glacier-like floor,) towards the kitchen. She stopped at the doorway of her mom's room down the hallway and opened the door a crack.

"Mom? You home?" She called out. Opening the door a little wider she saw her mom's empty bed and the previous night's pj's on the bed. "Guess not..."

Alaina continued down the hallway and turned into the kitchen where the sun was even brighter. A note was taped to the front of the microwave.

Ally,
If the power is still out when you wake up will you call the power company please? I woke up late for my trip so there was no time to say goodbye I'm sorry. (I know how much you love your sleep anyway :P) I'll be back in four days so don't get the house too dirty while I'm gone. Love you and don't forget Spring Break's over tomorrow so don't stay up late tonight. I'll probably reach the hotel around 1 in the morning or so, so don't expect a call until tomorrow night.
Love you! Be good!
Mom

"Oh yeah... I forgot she was going out of town." Alaina grinned. "Sweet." Alaina turned and headed towards the other side of the kitchen where a door led to the garage and banister separated the kitchen's tile floors and the stairs leading to the basement. As she made her way down the stairs a loud BANG sounded from the kitchen. Alaina raced back up a few steps and looked through the banister into the kitchen. She didn't see anything but... she felt like something was wrong--and not just the cold or the power being out either...

Alaina shook her head vigorously as if trying to clear it. "I bet it was the cat. Mio's always getting into something..." Alaina continued down the carpeted stairs to the basement.

Unlike most homes, Alaina's house did not have a creepy basement--well unless you counted the time Alaina was 7 and lived in the little room next to the stairs and a ghost was haunting her, but that ghost was long gone.

Well, she was pretty sure it was gone.

The basement was even colder than upstairs, Alaina shivered and hugged herself tightly, trying to get some warmth into her arms.

Alaina walked past her old room and turned into the laundry room. Now this room—was creepy. There was no carpeting so the concrete was exposed--and freezing. There was a drain in the floor next to the water heater (they had problems with floods sometimes) and the walls were nothing but unfinished dry wall. Alaina had to close the door to get to the breaker behind it, which made the room even creepier since the only light came through a small sliver of window in the corner thanks to the uneven walls.

She opened the panel and slowly started switching everything completely over to "OFF" before she began switching them back to their "ON" positions. "I feel like the chick in Jurassic Park," she mumbled. She finished switching everything over and walked over to the wall of the laundry room and flicked the light switch. Nothing. Alaina sighed heavily and walked back over to the breaker. Even though it was probably pointless she flicked all the switches from "OFF" to "ON" again. Again, nothing.

Alaina growled, frustrated and switched the Kitchen's switch off and on again. She knew it was stupid but she needed something to take her anger out on.

BOOM

BANG BANG--THUD

The noise came from directly overhead, Alaina's head snapped up and she stared at the ceiling--the floor of the kitchen.

"Oops.."

Alaina flung open the laundry room door, raced down the length of the basement and thudded up the stairs to the kitchen she used the top of the banister to swing around the landing and stopped—dead in her tracks. Alaina felt her lungs expand as they sucked in air—about to let out a scream...

. . . .

Alaina coughed violently hacking up phlegm from her lungs. Her lungs--her lungs felt like they were on fire and her whole body ached and tingled. Alaina's head pounded and her mouth felt dry and itchy from lack of water. She desperately needed water. Where am I? What happened? That memory... it felt like I was reliving that whole day over again...

Alaina tried to sit up and found her hands were tied behind her. Her legs too were tied to a hard wooden chair she was sitting on. What the hell is going on? Alaina looked around, but either her vision was blurry for some reason, or she was in a space with absolutely no light.

"H-hello?" Alaina croaked to the darkness. Nothing. Where am I? Where's the Doctor and Jack? What the hell happened last night? Last night. Alaina remembered last night--vaguely. She remembered going to the party with the Doctor... and meeting Captain Jack... And the band! She remembered the band and bouncing up and down to the song and feeling great! And then...

Her head was full of fog. Not the creepy crawly kind that looked cool through trees but the true deep murky fog banks that kept ships from docking and hid whole towns from view. She struggled to remember the night before.

The cops... the cops showed up. That's right. The cops busted the party... and... and she got separated from the Doctor and Captain Jack! So she went out through the fire escape to meet them at the TARDIS... Only she never made it off the fire escape. Because someone was at the bottom. Waiting for her with rag soaked in chloroform. Some freak must've kidnapped her! But why? What the hell could anyone want with her? She didn't even know anyone in this Universe except for the Doctor and Jack!

"What the fuck is going on here..." Alaina coughed again, and as she continued to hack up her burning lungs, she heard laughter echo from behind her.

"Well look who's finally awake..." A rough voice sounded out of the darkness. Alaina felt someone come up behind her and shivered.

"Wh-Who are you? What do you want?" Alaina swallowed down the hacking cough fighting to rip through her throat. The voice loomed up beside her and whispered gruffly into her ear, causing Alaina to shiver uncontrollably.

"Oh no, no no no. I'll be asking the questions today my dear." The man -or at least Alaina was pretty sure was a man (-a rough voice was not always a given for a man when traveling with the Doctor) moved away to Alaina's relief.

"I have a friend. A really scary friend, he'll be looking for me, and when he finds me--and trust me, he will find me-- You're going to be in very big trouble." The Doctor will be able to find me... right?

The man laughed. A high maniacal laugh that filled the room and raised Goosebumps on Alaina's arms and neck.

"I very much doubt that, Alaina."

"How the hell do you know who I am?" It was so much harder to sound defiant and strong when your throat was burning and your voice only comes out in a scratchy whisper.

"Oh I know more about you than you do. I know that you jump from Universe to Universe changing the course of events and saving people. I know that you've killed and been killed," Alaina's heart pounded rapidly against her aching lungs. The man leaned in closer, Alaina felt his hot breath on her face, but despite his proximity she still saw nothing.

"And, I know that 4 years ago a man showed up in your kitchen and gave you a device that changed your life forever. I want that device, Alaina and you're going to tell me where it is."

Alaina's head whirled. How does he know about the PUMP? How does he know what I've been doing? No one knows the pump even exists the man told me so... Wait a minute... Didn't I have the PUMP with me? In my bag?

Alaina struggled to grasp her memories; they floated like whispers among banks of fog, indistinguishable until stumbled upon. No... I left my bag in the TARDIS... the Doctor said we wouldn't need it. And I thought it leaving it behind would mean less of a temptation to use my technology in front of him something came up...

A stinging slap knocked Alaina's head to the side.

"I said tell me where Dr. Cooper's device is!"

"I-I don't know what you're talking about." Another fit of coughs left Alaina gasping for air.

I can make this very unpleasant for you Alaina. All you have to do is tell me where the device is and I'll let you go." The man said soothingly.

"Liar." Alaina spat in the vicinity where she thought her kidnapper was. A concussive force pounded into her right eye for her insolence. Flashes of light burst in front of her eyes as her already foggy head swam in confusion.

"That's just a taste of what's to come bitch if you don't tell me what I want to know!"

"I don't have it and you'll never get out of me where it is!" Alaina growled her throat muscles complaining loudly.

"Then you leave me no choice..." The voice walked away to Alaina's left. She sensed that the room was rather small and was taller than it was wide. Am I in a basement? A metal clanking from the man's position interrupted Alaina's thoughts.

"I was hoping you would be more reasonable than this Alaina. A smart girl like you should know when to give in. But I guess that's lesson no one's taught you yet."

Alaina scoffed loudly, but she couldn't help the rush of adrenaline that rapidly increased her heart rate.

"Don't worry, I'll get you caught up. I'm a very gifted teacher when it comes breaking people." Alaina's arms were suddenly wrenched up behind her, forcing her to bend forward until her face was smashed into her knees. Her arms were burning and her shoulders strained to stay in their sockets.

There was nothing Alaina could do to fight the unnatural position being forced on her, her hands where still tied, as were her legs. Alaina felt cold metal wrapping around each of her wrists and then the ropes binding her hands were cut free.

Tears of relief sprang to Alaina's eyes as her hands separated and some of the pressure was taken off her aching shoulders. Alaina was still in the awkward position with her head in her lap, however, and her arms were still bent back behind her.

"This was my people's favorite method for extracting information before our planet was destroyed. We used to time how long our victims would last before they cracked. Do you know what the record was?" Asked the voice.

Alaina remained silent. I am not going to give in to this sicko. He will not hear me scream, he will not hear one freaking word from me unless it is to curse him to fucking oblivion. I am not going to tell him a damn thing.

The man continued despite Alaina's silent treatment, "Four minutes. Four minutes before they wept for mercy and everything we wanted to know came pouring out."

The voice laughed and then whispered in Alaina's ear, "How long do you think you're going to last bitch? How high is your pain threshold hmmm? I bet you don't last a minute. I bet you cry and beg me for mercy. I bet the sweetest screams will come pouring out of your rosy lips. Who knows, maybe if your lucky and you tell me everything I want to hear real sweetly you and I can have a little fun later..."

Alaina suppressed the shiver of revulsion creeping up her spine. She was not going to give this freak the satisfaction knowing he got to her. The man laughed and leaned away from her.

"Now, anything you want to say before we get started? Some information you want to share? Hmm?" He taunted.

Alaina licked her dried and cracked lips, "Yeah, I want to say something. Bring it."

And he did, Alaina's only warning was a slight whirring sound. Pain. Sharp shooting pain like nothing she ever felt before was sent screaming up her nerves from her right elbow to her brain. But Alaina clamped down and would not let the message shoot from her mouth. No screaming. Not today.

The pain stopped for a minute and Alaina could feel blood dripping down the side of her arm and her heartbeat throbbed in her elbow.

"Do you want to know what I'm doing to you? It's quite interesting, I wish you could see it," the man laughed, "My people invented this machine you see. Very similar to your corkscrew on Earth but it's definitely not made for wine. The difference is this corkscrew is attached to a drill and it has spikes all along the edges. But these spikes do not stick straight out, oh no, that's no fun. These very special spikes point upwards towards the drill, so going in..."

The man paused his sentence and started the drill again. Again the pain lanced up her elbow as the drill dug deeper into her skin, biting into the bone. Alaina bit down on her bottom lip drawing blood to stop from screaming. The drill stopped.

"Isn't nearly as painful as going out." The drill started again in reverse, the spikes ripping and tearing at bone and skin as the drill went out. Alaina saw red and white bloom before her eyes in a non-existent fireworks display. A small gasp escaped her mouth before pure, sweet blackness consumed her...

. . . .

Alaina froze on the stair.

A man was in the middle of her kitchen. In the middle of the kitchen floor to be exact. In fact, he was laying in the middle of the kitchen floor, bleeding. A lot.

"Holy shit." Alaina's jaw dropped. How am I going to explain this to Mom? Or the police? "Hello 911? There's a man bleeding in the middle of my kitchen and I have no idea how he got there or why he chose to die here." Oh shit. He's not going to die is he?

Alaina jumped the next few steps to landing and turned into the kitchen and skidded across the floor to land on her knees next to the mysterious man.

"Whoareyou?Howdidyougethere?Whyareyoubleedingonmyfloor?What'shappening?Wheredidyoucomefrom?Pleasetellmeyou'renotgoingtodie." The words rushed out of Alaina's mouth in one long sentence.

The man groaned, and what sounded like a chuckle gurgled out of his mouth along with some blood.

"My name...is Doctor Cooper... and I'm sorry... but yes-I'm going to die."

"W-what? No! No, no, no, no. I'll just call 911 you'll see. You're going to be fine you just need to get to the hospital. You're not going to die!" Alaina sprang to her feet but was stopped by Cooper's hand on her arm.

"Please don't. There's nothing they can do for me... And... no one else can know I'm here." Suddenly Cooper gasped in pain and clutched his stomach.

For the first time Alaina really stopped to look at him. Dr. Cooper was a handsome man--or at least her Mom would think so, he was a little old for Alaina, in his fifties at least. His black hair was shot through with gray and he wore a loose white shirt and tan breeches. It actually reminded her of a pirate's clothes. Except for the blood. The source of the blood was a large and deep gash from the right shoulder to the left hip. Alaina winced when she spotted a strip of white--obviously bone. There was blood everywhere, it poured from the wound and formed a slowly spreading puddle on the floor. Alaina was actually kneeling in Cooper's blood.

"Oh god... What happened to you?" Alaina choked on tears while Cooper choked on his own blood.

"There's... no time for that... You must take this." Cooper blindly reached for a medium sized silver box lying next to him that Alaina hadn't noticed. Finally his fingers found what he sought and he pushed the box towards her. Alaina took the box examining it. There was large screen on the left and several buttons with symbols she barely recognized as mix between physics and calculus on the right. There was one large orange button underneath the screen.

"You're the only one who can finish..." Dr. Cooper paused, blood gurgled up from his throat. "Finish what I started... I did not... come here by accident..." Cooper coughed violently and his body began to shake. Alaina dropped the mysterious box, grabbed his shoulders and pulled Cooper into her lap, holding him until the seizure subsided.

Ignoring her blood-covered hands, Alaina pushed her loose hair away from her face and leaned closer to Dr. Cooper.

"Finish what? What is this?" Her heart ached for this mysterious man, dying in her kitchen. She didn't know why but she felt connected to him, in spirit. Alaina felt his pain as if it were her own, and tears welled in her eyes at the thought of this man dying in her arms trying to tell her one last message that she was too stupid to understand.

I don't understand what's happening. Why me? Why today? Everything was fine... Everything was normal... this was just supposed to be another day! Alaina's brain whirled trying to find sense in the world again, but she could find none.

"Why me?" She begged. "Why did you come here? I'm sixteen for God's sake, how am I supposed to help you?" Tears rolled down her cheeks still round with youth and fell to mix with growing pool of blood soaking into the wooden floor.

"You... you were meant for this... You are special..." Cooper closed his eyes struggling with every breath, every word. Tears ran down his cheeks as well, cheeks gaunt and pale from age and death.

"You must... you must..." Dr. Cooper drew a long ragged breath, his eyes were glazed over with pain.

"What? What must I do?" Alaina leaned ever closer, despite the bubbles of blood that gurgled from the poor man's throat and mouth.

"Push the button..." Cooper drew another breath, choking on his own blood, and Alaina knew it was his last. "And..." Cooper exhaled, his life and soul floating out of him along with three last words--a mere whisper in the wind. "...Save the Universe"

Alaina's eyes grew wide, and a sob racked her frame. In five minutes her whole life had changed. She knew this man for five minutes and he had died in her arms. I didn't even know his full name..

And with that last thought Alaina was overcome with a wave of emotions and cried. She sat there in the middle of her kitchen bright with sunshine but dark with blood, and cradled the body of the man she had known for only five minutes...

. . . .

Alaina was drowning... Literally!

She gasped for air as water streamed down her face, her wet hair clung to her face. Alaina shook her head, trying to clear her thoughts and swing hair away as she gulped down more precious oxygen.

"Wakey, wakey little one. I figured it out." Growled her captor triumphantly.

Alaina's eyes sparked with temper under her wet mop of hair, "Good for you. Do you want a gold star or a lollipop up your ass?" she fired.

"You know, I'm in such a good mood I'm going to ignore that little remark," he said simply.

"You're just overflowing with kindness aren't you?" Sarcasm made Alaina feel better. It was easier to ignore the the throbbing, searing pain in her elbow with every dig thrown at her kidnapper.

A searing white pain lanced through Alaina's eyes and into her skull. For a moment she thought her captor must have dug nails into her eyes. Am I blind? But then Alaina realized bright pain was from light. Light at last.

Large white lights on either side of large screen were shining down on her directly into her dilated pupils. The screen was filled with white noise and static.

"Soon I'll have everything I need." Her captors voice echoed around the room, now with an artificial metallic twang to it. His voice was coming through speakers? What's going on here?

Suddenly the screen turned from chaos to a more organized chaos of green and black, alien symbols flew across the screen rapidly. Oh no... no...

"Please, don't. Don't do this." Alaina's head was pounding in unison with her bloody and mangled elbow. Her back ached from being bent over for so long. Her throat was stung and sore, her lips dried and cracked, the cut across her swollen cheek from where that bastard struck sang with pain and grit as the last of the salty sea water he'd thrown on her dried. Worst of all, Alaina knew her eyes were stinging with tears. Not tears of defeat but the uncontrollable reaction to the lights and the water.

I must be the most pathetic looking woman in all the Universe. I can't--I don't want him to see me like this.

But it was too late.

The screen jumped. And there he was. The Doctor.

The pain had been unimaginable, but it was nothing compared to the soul-splitting hurt when Alaina saw the look on the Doctor's face. She watched as his chocolate brown eyes hardened to steel. Anger and the briefest flicker of pain slid across his features and settled into a look she knew all to well. The face of a Time Lord, filled to the brim with righteous anger.

And there was Jack. Dear old Captain Jack, right there next to the Doctor. Alaina felt her heart crack a little more, but she knew there were no two other men she wanted to see more right now.

"Alaina? Alaina! Are you alright? Shit! Where is she?! What have you done with her?!" Jack's anxious face shoved past the Doctor's panic, and worry flooded his features more than anger.

Alaina tried to answer, but her dry raspy throat betrayed her, and all that came out was a hoarse whisper before the coughing overcame her.

"Ah Doctor! A pleasure. I'm sorry we must conduct business like this, I really loathe having to hurt your companion here, but she was very uncooperative. I'm sure you and I will not have the same problem." Her torturer's voice was all soothing charm, Alaina's guts twisted with revulsion and burning hate.

"Whoever the hell this is, you have made a serious mistake and you have only once chance to live through this. Let. Her. Go." said the Doctor. Alaina could see his body shaking with fury through the monitor.

"Of course! Of course! But there's something of mine little Alaina here has by mistake. Perhaps you've seen her with a small silver box? Simply return it to me and Alaina is free to go," said Alaina's captor, his voice still slick with snake oil.

"I do not make deals with people who kidnap and torture my friends. I won't tell you again. Let. her. GO!"

Captain Jack stepped forward on the screen again his jaw tight with anger. Alaina was touched by the concern in his eyes-for her. They had only met a short time ago, and yet he still cared.

"The torture of citizens of a class 5 planet is strictly Prohibited by the Shadow Proclamation! I'm a Time agent and unless you let this girl go you will be severely punished! And trust me, what you've done to her will be a picnic compared with what will happen to you." Said Captain Jack.

He laughed. The man who kidnapped her, tortured her, and threatened to rape her, laughed. His false bluster and charm dropped and his cold psychotic demeanor returned.

"Don't patronize me. I've done my homework, Captain Jack. You're nothing but a con man stranded on this backwater planet. This is not a negotiation. You do not have the power here Doctor, I do. Alaina is my hostage and unless you do as I say she will face the consequences of your failure to cooperate. Trust me when I say I have just started with her, and I am capable of inflicting much, much pain," the man hissed menacingly. "Bring me the silver box, one hour in Time's Square or the next time you see your precious 'Al' she'll be broken, bloody and dead."

"...You think you can hurt my friends, threaten me and get away with it?"

Chills ran down Alaina's body, her heart stopped cold at the ice in the Doctor's voice.

"You have no idea who I am, so let me tell you," he said. " You are nothing to me. I have faced legions upon legions of creatures that would leave you babbling in an asylum. And they have run from me. Mark me. I gave you the chance to let her go, to live. I will make sure you never get to make such a mistake again. This is the day you will have nightmares about for the rest of your life. Alaina. Be strong. We're coming for you."

Alaina was abruptly left in darkness again as the screen cut to black. An afterimage of the Doctor's face burned against the dark. Her heart beat wildly in her chest. Her blood sang with fear, adrenaline and pride. The Doctor was coming for her, and every hurt and indignity she had felt at the hands of this man would be visited on him ten-fold. She had never felt so terrified and so absolutely safe.

"If I were you, I'd run while I still had the chance." She announced into the dark. Alaina hoped he would be too stupid or too arrogant to listen.

"I'm not going anywhere without Dr. Cooper's device. This 'Doctor' doesn't scare me, I'm a creature of the dark nothing frightens me." The man, or self called "creature" no longer spoke through speakers. Alaina felt his presence as he moved closer to her in the darkness.

Alaina smiled, "Good. I'd hate to miss the look on your face when that changes."

Her face exploded with pain, her nerves sending frantic signals to her brain. His punch had been aimed well and Alaina felt her left eye immediately begin to swell shut. Well that's going to be a shiner in the morning. She thought.

"Don't be a fool! I'm not done with you yet Alaina Brayden. You're going to tell me everything you know about Dr. Cooper and his device including how it works before your little boyfriends bring it to me. Unless you want to be nothing but a broken, blubbering girl when we meet them you'll answer my questions!"

"Fuck. You." She said.

He laughed again. A hard cold laugh that echoed in the black. The sound covered her like frost.

"Oh I'm going to enjoy breaking you of that attitude before I kill you and your friends." His voice was inches from her ear, she felt his breath tickling her ear, it was as cold as his voice and she shivered. Alaina tried to tell herself it was in revulsion, but she could only half convince herself.

The sound of a drill whirred in the perpetual black. Alaina shut her eyes and her breathing quickened. Shit. No lying to yourself about this one Aliana. You're afraid. Afraid of the pain. Of this man. She felt tears begin to well under her eyelids and her soul quavered. She didn't want to hurt again. She didn't want the pain anymore. Please, God no more. But from somewhere inside, hope flared. The Doctor's coming Alaina. He's coming from you so you better fracking hold yourself together.

And then the drill touched her skin. It was her other elbow this time, and it was all Alaina could do to choke down the whimper in her throat. The bit bore down hard, shredding her skin, drilling through bone to the nerves and tendons.

"Now Alaina. Tell me. Tell me how Dr. Cooper's device works. Tell me Everything." The man demanded.

Alaina ground her teeth in pain and fury. She let the anger fuel her soul, her mind sparked in a sick sense of humor, "Pain? I laugh in the face of pain! Ha ha ha!" and Alaina laughed. God, she didn't know how she could still laugh but it was the most fucking hilarious thing in the world that she could quote Lion King to this man who had beaten and tortured her and he had no freaking idea.

The man didn't understand the reference of course, but he sensed Alaina's contempt in the joke and it infuriated him. He changed a setting on the drill, slowing it further, so the drill took even longer to tear through Alaina's skin and bone. He reversed it, pulling the drill out nice and slow. He felt deep satisfaction when Alaina's laughter cut off abruptly and she sucked in a deep breathe. He imagined the reverse hooks on the drill bit, how he was doing even more damage and pain taking the drill out than in. He felt that familiar tingle of pleasure wash over his skin. Her pain was his ecstasy. And she was lasting so long. It was so exciting. Next he was going to get the other bit, the bigger one he liked to call Bone Shredder. And he would get to start on her knees.

"I'm so pleased Alaina, you have no idea. You've lasted 6 minutes in total already. And hardly a whimper! I'm going to so enjoy it when you finally scream." Her torturer said. The drill finally pulled free of Alaina's elbow and her body sagged in relief before him.

"I finally get to test out my other drill bit! No one's lasted long enough to get to it before. When you finally break and tell me what I want to know, I might hold off on killing you... You're rather a very... enjoyable specimen."

Alaina was disgusted to realize his voice was husky with... god she couldn't name it. Revulsion roiled in her stomach so violently she was sure she would puke. She was panting, her body quivering from the strain it took to stop the screams. She felt the fear begin to overwhelm her again, but the doctor's face floated through the haze of her thoughts and her will strengthened. I can do this. I can. Just. keep. fighting.

She felt her captor move in front of her in the dark. Despite how long Alaina had been in the gloom, her eyes never adjusted to see anything around her. There was not even a speck of light for her eyes to capture.

"Alaina. Meet Bone Shredder." The man said.

That was the only warning Alaina had before the drill bore down again. This time on her right knee. Fire. Fire burned along her nervous system, it burned and charred every nerve along the path to her brain.

Pain. Pain was her existence. Her only thought. Her beginning, her middle, the end. The long suppressed screams tore from her throat, so savage Alaina felt her vocal chords rip. She was breaking, she could feel herself breaking...

The sweet cloud of unconsciousness swept Alaina away before she begged the man to stop. Before she told him everything. Because she would have done anything to make the pain stop.