This Beginning
Courage
He chewed his lip. He had wanted to talk to her for days. He had wanted to say hello or something. That was probably stupid. He had known her since they were in kindergarten. But she didn’t talk to anyone. She never had. What most people didn’t know about her was that she was deaf. He had guessed it the first time he met her. The way that she stared at people’s lips every time they spoke. How she couldn’t seem to notice when people spoke on the side of her or behind her. It had made the other children, the annoyed children, upset. He had understood though. He had walked over to her and he had looked directly at her and just talked slowly and carefully so she would know every word she was saying. He had tried to keep it up, but all the other children, even some of the teachers, had teased her about the funny way that she talked. The fact that some words that came out of her mouth didn’t sound the way that they should have. She grew distant from everyone including him. It had broken his young heart to think he had lost her to such cruelty. So he had had to content himself to watching from a distance wishing that he could go near her at least one. To try and do anything. But she wouldn’t have anything to do with him anymore. Not after what had happened. He wondered if she really did still blame him after all these years.
The bell rang and he watched as she sailed passed him, a queen in white. She didn’t even realize how beautiful she was. How majestic she appeared to him. She ruled his dreams, giving him sleepless nights. Times when he would dream of just holding her and times when she was slipping away and he couldn’t keep up. He wanted the nightmares to end. They were never going to end though. He was too afraid to say anything. He was an utter failure. He was going to spend his life mourning over the fact that the most beautiful woman that he had ever met was never going to know how he felt because of stupid people, their terrible opinions and his own cowardice. He sighed and packed up his book bag. It had been his last class of the day. Time to go home and work on homework. At least that was what he would tell his parents. He was more likely going to go to his room and lie in bed thinking about her and wondering if he would ever have the strength to go to her. Just like every other day of his miserable life.
He shuffled out of the classroom, his head hanging low. No one really noticed him as he passed by just as he did not notice him. He was lost in his own thoughts. He could imagine himself having the courage to stride across the room to her. He would kneel down in front of her and take her hands. She would look anxious, uncertain, but she wouldn’t pull away. It was then that he would profess his undying love for her. He would tell her how over the years he had slowly been falling more and more in love with her every day. He would tell her how he would protect her from the people who couldn’t see past the things that made her different and wonderful. Those were just the silly dreams of a silly guy though. Teenage boys didn’t go around making professions of love. They might want to sometimes, but they kept it inside. They kept it safe and where it hurt the most.
Someone was shoved into his shoulder pushing him against a locker. A half-apologetic and not very audible apology was thrown his way. Another day, another fight. He glanced over, wondering if any of the regulars were involved and stopped dead in his tracks, his jaw dropping. She was there, his queen. She stood in the center of the ring. She was being spun around, pushed, and taunted. Sometimes one of people in the main circle would grab her face, forcing her to look up and spit at her or say something rude. It was as if they knew, they remembered if it was the only way she’d understand. He caught a glimpse of the terror in her eyes.
All his fear disappeared.
He charged forward through them and scooped her up in his arms. She curled against him, her hands pressed over her face and into his chest. He carried her away, ignoring the frustrated threats and half-hearted curses that were thrown his way as he walked down the hall, still holding her small, fragile body in his arms. It wasn’t until they were outside the nurse’s station that he even considered setting her down. Even then, he kept a hand on her shoulder. He knew that he shouldn’t be doing this. He was a coward after all, but his body didn’t seem to remember that. She looked up and their eyes locked before she pulled away from him. He watched with a heavy heart as she went inside the nurses’ station alone. He should have been with her.
He pressed his back against the wall outside the door and slid down to the ground. There had to be something that he could do. It couldn’t end like this. Not when he had just saved her. Not when he had proven that he wasn’t a coward. A thought sprang into his mind. Something he had wanted to do in kindergarten but hadn’t been able to. A grin spread across his face. He grabbed a notepad from his backpack and ripped off a little piece of paper, scribbling a note.
He peeked into the room to see what was happening. Inside the nurse moved away to grab something while she sat on the bed swinging her legs back and forth, clasping her hands in her lap. He slipped inside the room, feeling anxious and excited. He walked up until he was certain she could see the tips of his shoes. She looked up slowly and held out the note.
You are beautiful
He saw a smile light her face for the first time in over ten years.
The bell rang and he watched as she sailed passed him, a queen in white. She didn’t even realize how beautiful she was. How majestic she appeared to him. She ruled his dreams, giving him sleepless nights. Times when he would dream of just holding her and times when she was slipping away and he couldn’t keep up. He wanted the nightmares to end. They were never going to end though. He was too afraid to say anything. He was an utter failure. He was going to spend his life mourning over the fact that the most beautiful woman that he had ever met was never going to know how he felt because of stupid people, their terrible opinions and his own cowardice. He sighed and packed up his book bag. It had been his last class of the day. Time to go home and work on homework. At least that was what he would tell his parents. He was more likely going to go to his room and lie in bed thinking about her and wondering if he would ever have the strength to go to her. Just like every other day of his miserable life.
He shuffled out of the classroom, his head hanging low. No one really noticed him as he passed by just as he did not notice him. He was lost in his own thoughts. He could imagine himself having the courage to stride across the room to her. He would kneel down in front of her and take her hands. She would look anxious, uncertain, but she wouldn’t pull away. It was then that he would profess his undying love for her. He would tell her how over the years he had slowly been falling more and more in love with her every day. He would tell her how he would protect her from the people who couldn’t see past the things that made her different and wonderful. Those were just the silly dreams of a silly guy though. Teenage boys didn’t go around making professions of love. They might want to sometimes, but they kept it inside. They kept it safe and where it hurt the most.
Someone was shoved into his shoulder pushing him against a locker. A half-apologetic and not very audible apology was thrown his way. Another day, another fight. He glanced over, wondering if any of the regulars were involved and stopped dead in his tracks, his jaw dropping. She was there, his queen. She stood in the center of the ring. She was being spun around, pushed, and taunted. Sometimes one of people in the main circle would grab her face, forcing her to look up and spit at her or say something rude. It was as if they knew, they remembered if it was the only way she’d understand. He caught a glimpse of the terror in her eyes.
All his fear disappeared.
He charged forward through them and scooped her up in his arms. She curled against him, her hands pressed over her face and into his chest. He carried her away, ignoring the frustrated threats and half-hearted curses that were thrown his way as he walked down the hall, still holding her small, fragile body in his arms. It wasn’t until they were outside the nurse’s station that he even considered setting her down. Even then, he kept a hand on her shoulder. He knew that he shouldn’t be doing this. He was a coward after all, but his body didn’t seem to remember that. She looked up and their eyes locked before she pulled away from him. He watched with a heavy heart as she went inside the nurses’ station alone. He should have been with her.
He pressed his back against the wall outside the door and slid down to the ground. There had to be something that he could do. It couldn’t end like this. Not when he had just saved her. Not when he had proven that he wasn’t a coward. A thought sprang into his mind. Something he had wanted to do in kindergarten but hadn’t been able to. A grin spread across his face. He grabbed a notepad from his backpack and ripped off a little piece of paper, scribbling a note.
He peeked into the room to see what was happening. Inside the nurse moved away to grab something while she sat on the bed swinging her legs back and forth, clasping her hands in her lap. He slipped inside the room, feeling anxious and excited. He walked up until he was certain she could see the tips of his shoes. She looked up slowly and held out the note.
You are beautiful
He saw a smile light her face for the first time in over ten years.