One Heart

Nathalie’s POV

Over the next couple of days Jimmy and Val stayed at mine, with Val sleeping in my bed (even though she tried to get out of it), Jimmy on the couch downstairs while I slept on the floor of Rae’s room or the front room, depending if she fell asleep before we did. Eventually though their visit had to end and like every time before, Rae didn’t want them to leave. Unfortunately for us, she had inherited by stubbornness.

“Rachel McKenna, stop acting like this!” I scolded, trying to pry the body of my daughter from around Jimmy’s leg where she was clinging for dear life. “Uncle Jimmy has a plane to catch!”

“But I don’t want them to go!” She cried, renewing her grip around his leg. “Why can’t they stay?”

“Honey, we have to get back home,” Val said gently, crouching down to run her hands down the length of her hair that trailed down her back. “We’ll come back to visit soon; I promise.”

Her lip trembled as she turned to look at Val. “You... you promise?”

“Of course Rae, I can’t go without seeing my favourite little girl now can I?”

Reluctantly she let go, replacing Jimmy’s leg in order to hug Val instead. “You pinky-promise?”

Val chuckled as Rae raised her little finger, sealing the promise by curling her own around it. “See? I don’t ever go back on my pinky-promises.”

I scooped her up into my arms where she then clung onto me instead, holding her in one arm as I extended the other round Val, and then Jimmy. “Thanks for coming down.”

“I wouldn’t want to miss out on seeing my two favourite girls, now would I?” Jimmy replied with a grin, picking up the bag he had brought up with him and slinging it over his shoulder.

I laughed. “Don’t let Leana hear you say that.”

He chuckled. “I won’t.”

“Who is Leana?”

I had forgotten for those few precious moments that Rae was in my arms, listening to everything we said. Also another thing we had all forgotten was that we had never mentioned any of the others in front of her before, for fear that something like this would happen. Questions we wouldn’t know whether to be truthful in answering or not.

“Leana is Jimmy’s friend,” I replied, exchanging looks with Jimmy and Val. Rae didn’t know about the people in my past other than them, but even then she doesn’t know how I know them. She just tended to go with the flow. I guess now that she is growing up, she’s naturally going to start to question things.

Rae pulled a face at Jimmy. “Is she your girlfriend, Uncle Jimmy?”

He smiled; his eyes glazing over as he thought about her. “Actually, we’re a bit more than that.”

“A bit... more?” Rae questioned, her mouth turning downward into a frown. “Like what?”

“Well in your stories, you know how the knight always marries the princess at the end?”

“Yep! They always wear pretty dresses!”

“Leana is like my princess,” he replied softly.

“And you are her knight?”

“You got it.”

“So that makes her Auntie Leana, right?”

He didn’t know what to say, just like myself and Val. “Well...”

“How come you never bring her here? Doesn’t she get lonely when you leave?”

“Come on Rae, you are going to make them miss their flight with all these questions,” I interrupted, gently propping her up further in my arms. “It’s time to say goodbye.”

“Mummy.”

“Yes baby?”

“Where’s your knight?”

I paused for a few moments before replying, “I don't need one. I have you.”

She pulled the same face she had at Jimmy, her brow furrowing as she thought. “But every princess has a knight. That's why you have me, because you married your knight. That's why I'm a princess too, right?”

Sometimes I hated the intelligence my daughter was blessed with; even if she didn't realise it herself. To her, these were just simple questions.

“Not everything ends like the fairytales,” I stated, feeling Rae suddenly become heavy in my arms even though I knew she wasn't. “Jimmy...take Rae for a minute.”

He awkwardly took her from me before I turned and walked away, unable to take the questions any longer. I walked straight upstairs and into my bedroom, kneeling on my knees so I could reach under the bed and pull out a small box.

Inside were a few things I had taken to remind me of the old times, when partying and alcohol were my heart and oxygen and Brian, Chloe and the guys were all by my side. I rummaged through it until I took out a few things; the silver chain he had given me before they went recording, a photo of the two of us at Chloe’s Club and lastly, the engagement he was going to propose to me with. This last object I centred my attention on, rubbing at the jewelled bat wings on either side of the glowing diamond when I heard someone in the doorway.

“Nat...”

I quickly rubbed at my eyes and closed my fingers over the ring in my hand before standing up, forcing a smile onto my lips. “Hey Val. I'll be down in a minute, so don't-”

Before I could finish she had crossed the room and had her arms around me, rubbing her hand upon my back just like a mother would do her child, shushing me as I tried to pull away. “You can't keep on living like this Nat,” she murmured, pulling away so that I was at arms length before continuing, “Why don't you come back with Jimmy and me? If you bring Rae, we can make it a holiday and-”

“I can't Val,” I interrupted, moving away so that her arms fell from my shoulders. “Even if I wanted to, I barely make enough to cover the bills and keep the fridge stocked, let alone take a week off work and pay for us both to go on holiday.”

“Well Jimmy and I can-”

“No, Val,” I said firmly. “I don't want you to pay for us.”

She laughed once, shaking her head. “I don't understand you. You have friends who are willing to do anything for you, why won't you let us help you? Even if you didn't want our help, then I'm sure it is not hard for you to dip into your company for a measly flight.”

I shook my head. When I left for Phoenix I didn't take anything from my old home, I merely just left. There was no time for goodbyes since the instant I watched Brian walk away I knew I couldn't be around anyone any more, only taking myself and driving until I couldn't any longer. Luckily it didn't take me long to find a job and a small apartment, and with the money I got from selling the car that had gotten me up here I had enough to decorate and get everything ready for when Rae finally arrived. Since then money has been tight, but thankfully things always worked out in the end, but it did mean we did sacrifice a lot. Whenever I could I tried to get Rae what she wanted, but there were times I had to say no, and the heartbreak on her face was enough to make me want to go back to my old life, to where I had none of these worries.

But I couldn't.

I promised myself that when I left, that this was a completely new start, and I would make my own way from now on.

When I didn't reply she stepped back with a sigh, retreating back to the doorway before calling back, “If you change your mind, you know how to get hold of us.”

After she disappeared my gaze drifted back to my hand, the fingers slowly opening and revealing the ring once again. I took it carefully and slipped it onto my engagement finger, smiling at the image for a few moments before taking it off, placing it back within the box along with the photo and chain and hiding it once again, out of sight.

Some dreams just never come true.