One Heart

Brian’s POV

“What’s happening?” I screamed, pounding on the viewing window into Nathalie’s room with my free hand and keeping my son cradled in the other. I had only been gone twenty minutes at the most, but now there were a number of people bustling about in her room, obscuring my view on her. “What’s going on?!”

A female nurse came out at the moment, walking over to me. “Sir, you need to calm down-”

“Calm down?” I was anything but calm. “Calm down?!That’s my wife in there!”

“I know sir, but if you could give me a minute to explain-”

“EXPLAIN?”

She flinched as I shouted at her, resorting to Zack pulling on my arm and whispering, “I know you are worried Bri, but you really need to calm down. Plus I think you are waking the kid up.”

“Okay, okay.” I took a deep breath, lowering my voice so that our son wouldn’t wake up. How he already wasn’t was beyond me, but I guess he managed to pick that up from me. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t worry, I completely understand,” she replied. “I think perhaps you should take a seat before I explain-”

Whatever calm I had managed in those last thirty seconds disappeared when a couple of doctors moved from the bed and exposed Nathalie; along with the defibrillator pads shocking her chest. Without a second thought I passed my son to Zacky to hold before bursting into her room, only just about managing to touch her fingers and hear the words ‘cardiac arrest’before two of the group working on her still body turned and quickly blocked me from going any further. The nurse from earlier followed soon after and quickly apologised to the two men who held me back for having let me in.

“I’m so sorry, he just ran in here.”

“Don’t worry about it Poppy,” the male on my left replied, before turning his attention to me. “Sir, I’m sorry, but you cannot be here right now.”

“Like hell I can’t,” I growled, forcing my way through their defence before they ultimately pushed me back with a renewed strength. “She’s my wife!”

“Even if that is so, you are impeding the doctors’ abilities to work on saving your wife’s life, so you need to wait-” By mid-sentence they had managed to escort me outside, finishing with one word before disappearing back into her room to help. “-outside.”

“Nathalie…” All strength just drained from me at that moment as I dropped to my knees, unable to focus on anything as everything just seemed to become one big blur around me.

“Oh shit- Syn?” Zack’s voice echoed faintly around me, but I couldn’t tell exactly where it was coming from. I guessed it was him that began to shake my shoulders, but I didn’t pay any attention.

All I could think about was one thing.

“Nathalie.”

--

“Brian, you should try and drink something,” Val said, pushing a glass of juice into my hand. “You’re not helping yourself.”

“I don’t want anything.”

She sighed, but didn’t try to press the issue, instead returning to sit beside Matt nearby. I watched as he wrapped his arm around her and pulled her close, something that I could only wish to do right now. Looking around in the room we had all gathered just seemed to emphasise the fact that my other half was lying on that bed, fighting for her life; no one in that room was alone except for me. Everyone could pull on their partner for strength while I had to fight on my own.

“Family and friends of Mrs. Haner?” All heads in the room turned to Nathalie’s doctor hovering in the doorway.

Instantly, I answered, getting to my feet. “Yes. Is Nathalie alright?” He shifted his feet slightly; something I picked up as meaning the opposite of what I wanted. My voice dropped. “What happened?”

“Your wife suffered a cardiac arrest; it took some time but we managed to stabilise her condition,” he replied.

“So… So what does that mean?” I was stumbling over every word I spoke, unable to fix even two words together without a stutter. “Is she… Will Nat be alright?”

“It’s too early to say, but we are doing everything we can,” he said reassuringly. “Currently we have put your wife into a hypothermic state-”

“Hypothermia?” Chloe’s attention snapped to the doctor, worry creeping into her eyes. “Isn’t that a bad thing? Shouldn’t you be warming her up or something?”

“In most cases, yes, but it’s a new variation of therapy to help ease the possible after effects of a cardiac arrest.”

She edged closer, the worry increasing. “Like what?”

“Possible brain damage.”

“Brain damage?!” She glanced fearfully to me. “Is she… Is she…” Her voice trembled. “Is she going to be a vegetable?”

The doctor was taken aback. “What? No, I think you must have misunderstood me. They are only possible scenarios, in most cases our patients have recovered with minimal or none at all after this therapy.”

“Really?” She whispered, clutching onto Zacky’s arm for all she was worth. It was like she had regressed to the mentality of a child. “You promise?”

He shifted slightly. “I can’t make any promises, but we’ll do the best we can.”

Her grip faltered, but remained unbroken. “I guess that’s all we can hope for.”

As Chloe submitted quietly to Zack’s gentle retreat I stepped forward and took control of the conversation again. “Can I see her?”

“Perhaps it is not-” He stopped himself with a soft sigh, ignoring the details on his clipboard that obviously screamed in protest against what he said next. “Of course. I’ll show you to her room.”

He moved to the doorway and remained there as I lingered behind, looking for Jimmy who had spent the whole time silent in the corner or the room, a tortured gaze fixated upon his hands as Leana simply wrapped her arms around his tall frame, trying in vain to console him. Between the pair of us, we harboured enough sorrow to give everyone in the hospital a minor depression.

“Hey… Jim?”

He looked up at me, but didn’t breathe a word.

“Could you watch Sammy for me?” I walked over to the cot where my son slept and gently eased him out of it, making sure he didn’t stir as I passed him to Jimmy. A soft smile met my friend’s lips as he looked down at him, simply giving me a short nod in reply as he watched the infant with pure adoration.

Stepping back I sought Leana’s eyes. “Do you think you’ll be alright with him?”

She smiled, knowing that I didn’t mean my son. “We’ll be fine.”

--

“I’ll leave you to it.”

After escorting me to Nat’s room he left without another word, seeming to take all sound with him as he slipped the door shut behind him. Even though I knew I was alone I still crept to Nat’s side, encasing one of her hands in both of mine despite the chill of her skin from the hypothermic therapy. The doctor had filled me in all about it on the way here, how they were lowering her body’s temperature so that her organs weren’t fighting with each other for oxygen as much since they needed less in colder conditions and that it had practically doubled the survival rate for cardiac arrest sufferers. He also mentioned that it would probably take three days until they took her off it and then possibly a few days after that until she finally woke up.

If she ever did, that is.

“How is she?” Chloe was hovering by the doorway, holding herself with trembling arms. She walked cautiously into the room and touched friend on the arm. “She’s cold,” she whispered. Tears began to form in her eyes. “She’s going to be alright, isn’t she?”

“I hope so.” With Chloe in the state she was in I left Nat’s hand and drew her into my arms. “I’m sure she’ll be fine.”

“You don’t know that.”

“I know Nat,” I murmured softly, rubbing at her back. “She wouldn’t give up without a fight.”

“But she’s been fighting for so long…” Chloe whispered, burying her face into my shoulder which was slowly sticking to my skin from her sobbing. “What if she no longer has the strength?”

I couldn’t answer. When I didn’t, Chloe broke away, only to look up at Zack as he appeared in the doorway.

“Could you take Sammy for a while? Lea and Jimmy offered to get us all something to eat so they need someone to be with him.”

She looked briefly away before she answered to rub at her tear-stricken eyes. “Sure.” She walked out after with no other words and left Zack to walk over to my side and squeeze my shoulder.

“How are you doing?”

“I don’t think how I am matters right now,” I replied. “It seems there are bigger problems than if I’m feeling a little down.”

“Bigger problems? We all know about Nat mate,” Zacky began, “but she’s being looked after. It’s you I’m worried about.”

“Me?” I echoed. I shook his hand from my shoulder. “Don’t worry about me; I’m fine.”

“Tell me Brian; how long have we known each other?”

“What?” I looked at him oddly. “What has that got to do with anything?”

“Just humour me.”

I sighed. “What, about ten- fifteen years or something?”

“Or something?”

“I don’t know the exact year at this time Zack; I’m too tired to remember.”

“No matter.”

“Then why did you ask?”

He walked around to the other side of Nat’s bed and gazed down at her still frame. “Do you not think that after all that time; I know how my best friend is feeling without him telling me?”

I didn’t have an answer.

“It’s alright to keep stuff to yourself, but sometimes you need to let it out.” He gently touched Nat on the arm before he turned and began to walk away. Just as he was about to leave I called his name and he looked back. “Yes?”

“Have you… have you ever wondered what happens after someone dies?”

He paused for a moment to think, before he slowly replied, “I have once.”

“You have?”

“Yeah.”

“What did you think?”

“That it was stupid to think about it. No one could ever know for sure anyway.”

“Oh.” My heart dropped as the sense of defeat set in.

“I’ll tell you one thing though.”

“I just hope that there is something nice on the other side. I’d hate to think the whole brimstone and fire thing is real, you know? If so, we’re all screwed.”

I chuckled. “Yeah, I guess you’re right.”