You'll Never Get It

~Zeke~

I stared at my phone.
“Who was it…?” Sean asked me, looking at me like I was crazy. I looked like I was afraid of a text message.
“No one…” I put my phone away. “Brandon.”
“Oh…Okay.” He shrugged. I don’t remember what happened, but I fell asleep.
“…Zeke? …Zeke, wake up, the movie’s over.”
I did wake up, and remembered the dare…and stupid me. Half asleep, I kissed him…on the lips. Not a short kiss either. Like…the first time Brandon dared me. In the van.
He stared at me. Oh God, he’s going to hate me! “Sorry…” I mumbled as I raced upstairs. He didn’t come after me.
I…I couldn’t think straight…The only thought going through my head was that I’d be better off dead.
I opened up my medicine cabinet and grabbed the Nyquil. I took out all the pills…
…and took them all. I made it to my bed…and passed out. “No one will miss me anyways…”

//Sean//

What just happened? I think I’m in a daze. He kissed me again…and ran upstairs. I sat there…didn’t move for like, 10 minutes. Then Brandon texted me.

Hey, is Zeke okay? I texted him, but he’s not answering me. I think it’s because of what I sent him…but the smallest thing sets him off. Remember when his mom died and he tried to kill himself? Well, I’m making sure nothing happened…I just have this feeling in my stomach…

What’s he mean? Why wouldn’t he be okay? I texted him back.

He kissed me…again. That what you texted him? Because he ran upstairs after and hasn’t come down since.

The next text scared me…

OMG GO CHECK ON HIM! NOW, SEAN! I’M COMING OVER!

I nearly had a heart attack…why was he so freaked out? I ran upstairs and saw him laying on the bed. He was asleep.
…I nudged him. “Zeke…Zeke, it’s me…Wake up…” He wasn’t waking up. I started to panic as the door burst open downstairs, and Brandon raced up.
“Oh shit, what’d he do?!?” He ran into the bathroom and found the empty Nyquil bottle. He gasped.
“What, what?” I asked frantically.
“He…he took the whole bottle of Nyquil! Crap!” My heart raced as he dialed 911.

~Zeke~

…Am I dead? …Mom…you here? There’s nothing but white around me…where am I?
I heard someone calling my name…but…who?
“Zeke…Zeke don’t die…” It was Sean…I opened my eyes.
His were closed tight, and he was kneeling next to my bed. “S-Sean…?” I asked weakly.
He looked up immediately. “Zeke!” He hugged me tight. “Why would you try and kill yourself? Why? You’re my best friend, I can’t lose you…!” Tears were streaming down his face…Sean was crying…
…And it’s all my fault.
“Because…no one would miss me anyways.”
He blinked. “Do you really believe that?” His voice cracked. “Why would you think that!?!
“I miss my mom…Sean, I miss her so much…” She was the only one I could ever talk to.
“…I know…But for now, we need you down here. She can’t have you yet. Okay?”
I nodded. At least I have him as a friend…
…Even if it will never be anything more.

//Sean//

I feel like I’m killing him…But…I’m just not like that.
I’m not gay…
…But I don’t want to hurt him.
Augh, I’m so confused! What am I supposed to do!? I care about him, I really do…but not like that! I just can’t stand the thought of him being gone! I really…really don’t want him to be gone…
…Why am I crying…?
“Sean…Are you okay?” It was Zeke of course. We haven’t left the hospital.
“What? …Yeah…I’m fine.” I wiped my eyes…I don’t cry, I just don’t. What’s wrong with me?
The doctor came in. He told us that Zeke can’t live by himself anymore. “He’ll have to live with a friend or a relative…Someone who can take care of him.”
“I guess that’s me.”
Zeke smiled. Thank God I get too see him smile again. After that, we left. I drove him by his house and we got some of his clothes and stuff he’ll need. Then we went back to my house.
“You look tired…” He said to me. I yawned.
“Yeah, I am…I stayed up the whole time…Heh…”
He stared. “Really?”
“Yeah…” I smiled at him. I couldn’t sleep not knowing if he’d wake up! I decided I would go to bed…But I only got to the couch. I laid there and pulled a blanket over myself. I told Zeke he could watch TV if he wanted, but he just cuddled up next to me. Honestly, I really didn’t care. So I wrapped my arms around him and fell asleep.