Right Now, I'm Anyone's

Exceptionally immense. That was most definitely one way to put how the first show of the festival went. The doors opened at around five to six, minutes after John had informed me that Gary would be working the light/sound board and I’d be behind the bar. Zoë needed the help and without Maddox being around, we were short-staffed.

I didn’t mind working the bar, not at all. I’d even go the extent of saying I liked it better than my other jobs – besides the rider duties – just because we had the perfect view of the stage. About halfway through the first set – a local, unsigned lot called Gentleman & Liars – my phone buzzed from my jeans pocket and I signalled to Zoë that I was stepping outside for a moment.

“Hello?”

“Princess, its Dimitri.”

Oh, crap. I forgot to tell Val to put his name on the guest list. “Fuck, I’m sorry. I’ll come get you inside now.”

“Better had,” he grumbled before hanging up his phone on me. I made my way through to the back entrance of the building as quickly as I could, walking around to the front and spotting Dimitri leaning up against the brick wall next to the main door. I walked straight past him and heard him follow me as I made my way straight to Valarie, the ticket collector.

“Hey, Val.” I smiled. “I was supposed to put my friend on the list but I totally forgot, could you let him inside?”

“He said he knew you,” Val laughed. “Sure, just don’t tell John I let you get away with this.”

I rolled my eyes. “Like I would. Thanks, Val.”

Dimitri smiled at Valarie and made his way inside, pausing to say that he’d pick up me and Georgia afterwards so we wouldn’t have to pay for a taxi home. I told him I’d be at the bar if he got bored and felt like talking while I worked. By the time I got back behind the bar, the first set was over and the second – Ella Sera – were making their way on. It was understandable that the sets were short; there were twenty-four bands playing this festival. If they were any longer it’d go on for far too long.

*****

An hour and a half later and the place was still entirely packed full of people, ages ranging from fifteen to thirty-something. Zoë and I’d had plenty of underage kids trying to get themselves some alcohol. Zoë could spot them like a fly on shit. One boy with severe acne of the entire head tried to flirt his way into it; she poured a bottle of water over his head and told him he’d be kicked out if he kept harassing her.

All, very, very funny.

There was literally something here for everybody to enjoy. A range of genre’s and subgenre’s. So far – after Ella Sera – Abrogation’s Crown, The Friday Night Boys, The Maine, Carcer City and Kids In Glass Houses had all performed. I only really knew The Friday Night Boys, The Maine and Kids In Glass Houses. Abrogation’s Crown and Carcer City were from the northwest, so I hadn’t really known they existed before tonight.

“How can you not know Carcer City?! Zoë shouted to me, laughing as she filled a plastic pint glass with Budweiser for a customer, after checking his ID of course. “They’re so bloody good!”

“Considering I’ve never been to the northwest,” I laughed, also fixing a drink for somebody. “You shouldn’t be surprised I don’t know them.”

Aled Phillips of KIGH announced that Fightstar would be the next band up once their set had finished, so we lost Callum while he went to go and watch from the stage-side area. Charlie Simpson approached his microphone while the rest of the band got to their appropriate instruments and spoke clearly into the microphone.

“Alright, Leeds?” The crowd responded in a massive cheer. “Ready to beat the fucking shit out of each other?!”

Everybody cheered again, a lot louder and I laughed. Half the time, the band was only as good as their banter; it’s what made the show enjoyable when performers were kind enough to interact. Fightstar started up their set with Paint Your Target, Deathcar and their cover of Judas Priest’s Breaking The Law.

I could see that they really did want to start up on the banter again, but John had clearly stated that there’d be no time for it between songs. Boring bastard. Charlie announced that they’d be slowing the set down a bit by playing something they never usually played live. When the opening notes to Amethyst started up, I felt my stomach tie itself in a small knot.

“Leila!” Zoë shouted over the noise of the crowd and the music. “Can you take this to Deaf Havana’s room? Gallows are on next, apparently, and there isn’t a chance in hell I’m missing them.”

I rolled my eyes playfully and nodded my head, taking the crate of Carling from Zoë’s arms and making my way to the opening in the bar. Instead of the usual route – climb up onto the stage and go through the stage door – I had to go through the door to the right of the stage marked ‘staff only’ and down a couple of hundred freezing cold corridors.

“Holy fuck! I’m so sorry!”

Somebody had collided with me, sending both me and the crate of alcohol to the hard concrete floor. I grazed my elbow during the fall and scowled slightly. I looked up at my assailant, seeing dark brown hair, lightly tanned skin and a goofy expression on his face.

“I’m Jack Barakat,” he said, holding his hand out to pull me back up off the floor. I knew who he was, of course; who didn’t? I took his hand and hauled myself up off the floor, cradling my injured elbow lightly.

“You’re my new best friend, by the way,” Jack stated, leaning over to pick up the box of Carling.

I raised my eyebrows. “You don’t even know my name.”

“What is it then?”

“It’s Leila,” I laughed.

“Well, Leila,” he smiled. “You’re my new best friend because you have beer.”

“Yes,” I giggled. “Beer for Deaf Havana.”

“Deaf who?” Jack asked, cocking his head to one side and making his dark hair fall into his eyes. It was kind of adorable, but he reminded me a lot of Maddox, except taller, scrawnier and Lebanese.

“Havana,” I said, laughing again and nodding towards the dressing room just a little ways from where we stood.

Jack just shrugged. “I still say I should keep the beer.”

I sighed. “Why?”

“Because, I’m cute.”

I laughed and shook my head. I patted the top of Jack’s head and laughed again as he pouted. I tried to take the crate back from Jack, but he stepped away from me and shook his head. He walked towards dressing room number five and burst through the door.

“Who the fuck?” I heard James say. I peered around Jack and saw James sitting on the floor next to the couch and looking around wildly. Ryan, Lee, Chris, Tom, Jake, Max and Daniel all laughed at his expense.

Ryan was near enough crying, spluttering, “Oh man, that was too good!”

Lee got up from his seat and high-fived Jack with his free hand, his laughter dying down a bit more now.

“Everyone,” I said, trying not to laugh. “This is Jack Barakat; behave, all of you.”

Everybody introduced themselves; even James, who seemed to have forgotten that Jack scared him out of his seat and onto the floor. Jack sat with the boys and started up a speech on why he should be allowed to have the whole crate of alcohol, rather than it going to Deaf Havana.

“Look, dude!” he yelled, pointing at James who was – in all honesty – a bit out of it. “He’s goddamn wasted already!”

Tom just shrugged his shoulders. “That’s not from alcohol.”

I could practically hear the cogs whirring in Jack’s brain as he thought about what Tom just said. Finally, it clicked and he did a little ‘oh’ face that was far too cute to belong to a grown man. I took a seat between James and Lee and listened; I could hear Birth Eater coming from the main room, meaning that Oceana had started their set. After a couple more minutes, Jack said he had to go find Alex, Rian and Zack – his band mates – and left.

“He was...enthusiastic,” Jake laughed, leaning back in his seat again. I think Jake was the only one that wasn’t drinking, using drugs or both. The rest of the guys were under some kind of influence; James by far the worst.

“When are you lot on anyway?” I asked.

Daniel answered for Eye Witness. “In a minute, when Oceana finish.”

Lee answered for Deaf Havana. “Twenty-third, after Asking Alexandria.”

Shortly after that, I ended up walking to the stage-side area with Jake, Max, Daniel and Craig, waiting for their set to begin. I smiled and watched Brennan Taulbee throw himself around the stage through their final song – Reach For The Sky. I caught Denny’s eyes at one point and he shot me a little smile before going back to playing. Oceana were fantastic, no doubt about it.

“Is Edie going to be watching?” I asked, shouting over the noise to Jake.

I saw him smile. “Yeah, Zara’s bringing her up here in a couple minutes.”

I smiled to myself and tried to picture Edie when she grew up a little bit more. I could see her being exactly like her dad.

“What’s she doing here?”

I felt somebody’s eyes burn into the back of my neck and made the decision to turn around and see who it was. Dean was standing a metre or so behind me, half-glaring at me and swaying on his feet. Johnny shot me a smile after punching his brother in the arm and telling him to stop being a prick for no good reason.

“I think I’ll go back to the bar,” I told Johnny and Jake. “Come see me when you’re finished, I’ll be watching from there.”

Jake and Johnny smiled and nodded in turn as Brennan announced Eye Witness. I watched Jake run on-stage, followed by Max, Craig and Daniel. Johnny jumped down into the photographer’s pit and started fiddling around with his camera, leaving Dean and I alone on stage-side. I glanced at him briefly before I turned on my heel to walk off.

“Hey, Leila?” Why? Why even try talking to me?

“What?” I sighed, not even bothering to turn around again.

“Did you miss me, babe?” I could hear that stupid smirk and I wanted to smack it off all over again.

I scoffed. “Don’t be fucking ridiculous.”

*****

As much as I hated to admit it, Dean was really quite good at what he did. He sang like nothing I’d ever heard before, screamed and growled like a nightmare and jumped around, interacting with the crowd whether they wanted him or not; like he was put on earth simply to do what he was doing. Watching him up there, putting his heart and soul into something even slightly meaningful was actually really lovely. It reminded me a bit of the boy I fell in love with six years ago.

Those thoughts were quickly locked into the back of my mind.

Occasionally, I’d see the flash of Johnny’s camera going off from below stage, and then get a little view of him clambering around the stage to get some decent photos of the entire band. Regardless of John’s preferences, Dean took a small break in between every song they did so that they could speak to the audience.

“So,” he said into the microphone. “I think we’ve performed this last song about...three times before, and completely fucked it up every time. Anybody heard of a fucking amazing band called Parkway Drive?”

The entire room blew up in cheers, except for a couple of ditzy girls standing, waiting for Zoë to serve them – what they didn’t know, other than music, was that Zoë was purposefully missing them out. Because she could.

The song started off really slow at first, almost acoustic sounding. I recognised it more once Craig started playing the rhythm part of the guitars, but I only really caught onto it when Max started with the lead. It was one of Parkway’s slower songs, but also one of their best in my opinion. Dean was putting all his passion into this song; I could tell. I still knew him.

“ So it begins, our eyes drawn open, free from the thought of doubt, free from the selfish conflict.
Now blind these words chase us.
With open arms we stand, before the dawn.”

Dean’s voice was entirely different from Winston McCall’s, but he was just as good at the same time, if that makes any sense. At the end of the last line in that first verse, Dean raised his spare arm up over his head, before slamming his body forwards as Max came in with more lead guitar. Honestly, if any other band had performed this song, it would’ve been butchered; but Dean and Eye Witness kind of made it their own, in a sense. Jake was brilliant, and I caught sight of Zara standing at the side with Edie balanced on her hip.

“Sit back and watch as time eats us alive!” Dean growled. The line was followed by a short breakdown, during which, Dean, Daniel and Max all threw their heads and torsos up and down in time with the music.

“In time, and so it ends, in time, we all find an end.”

Dean leaned out towards the crowd for a couple of lines, all of which made grabs at his black t-shirt, trying to pull him down to them. He stepped back onto the stage and heaved himself effortlessly on top of two stacked speakers, cupping his hand around the microphone and tilting his head back as he growled the final couple of verses, putting the last of his energy into it.

The entire band stopped playing at the same time and the entire room erupted into cheers and whoops of ‘more’. Dean jumped down off the speaker and leaned out to his audience again, oozing confidence and sweat. He held out his hand and walked from one end of the stage to the other, grabbing a couple of peoples outstretched hands. He held the microphone back to his lips as the rest of the band exited the stage.

“Alright, Leeds,” he said. “That was fucking brutal; now give it up for Architects!”

The crowd cheered again and he placed the microphone in a stand near the front of the stage. Just before he walked off, he scanned the entire right side of the room – especially the bar – and caught my eye. He moved offstage and hugged Zara – she’d waited for him to come off – while she kissed his cheek. He walked away with his arm around her waist.

Embrace our last empty horizon.