Right Now, I'm Anyone's

The rest of the show went off without a hitch, so to speak. After Architects finished their set, I went back to serving tenants their drinks with something that felt like a hole in the pit of my stomach. By the end of the night, I was severely impressed by the bands John had managed to get to play here.

Architects were followed by All Time Low, First Signs Of Frost, The Blackout, You Me At Six, Funeral For A Friend, Lostprophets, Oh, Sleeper, A Day To Remember, VersaEmerge, Asking Alexandria, Deaf Havana and Alexisonfire. Deaf Havana did brilliantly; Ryan held his microphone out to the crowd during Friends Like These, and even dragged a young girl onto the stage and let her sing with James. James still looked a bit out of it as he played and shared his microphone with the girl, but he didn’t complain.

I smiled at every single song Alexisonfire played; I adored them. I remembered that George had said I could come and meet Chris, Jordan and Dallas after their set and felt the hole in my stomach disappear at the thought.

Truthfully, tonight was the first time I’d heard First Signs Of Frost or Oh, Sleeper, but it was definitely not the last. The last few customers – who’d hung back to meet a band member or two – had just exited the premises. I checked the time on my phone and groaned; 12:00AM.

“Princess,” Dimitri smiled as he leaned against the bar in front of me. “Find Georgia so we can go home and go to bed.”

I smiled knowingly. “You don’t want to come meet some bands then?”

Dimitri raised his eyebrows. “If you’re offering, I won’t say no.”

Zoë interjected. “I’m getting off Leila; everything’s basically tidied up anyway. See you tomorrow.”

I called a goodbye over my shoulder to her and turned back to Dimitri, who looked extremely excited. I placed my cloth back under the counter and hopped over the top, rather than walking the length of the bar to exit it properly.

“Come on, then,” I smiled at Dimitri, walking towards the now empty stage. “I’ll introduce you to some friends.”

*****

“So, everybody!” Callum called over the congregation of bands and staff – minus Zoë – gathered in the main room, ready to leave. “Congratulations on that fucking amazing first show! Let’s hope they’re all as immense!”

Dimitri, Georgia and I were stood amongst our friends, even some idols, cheering with everybody. Various members of each band clinked bottles of beer with each other and the staff and made small talk.

“Leila, right?” I turned around at the sound of my name. It was George Pettit. He smiled at me. “I hear you’re responsible for the lighting; nice job.”

I smiled back. “Thanks George.”

“It’s good,” he said. “Do you want to meet everybody else anyway?”

I just stared for a moment or two before nodding my head. I turned quickly to tell Dimitri and Gee I’d be right back and followed George towards the bar. I could see three people standing there and felt a bit queasy at the thought of meeting those three people. I was getting hysterical, I knew it; it should stop.

“Hey, guys,” George said as we got closer. “Got someone for you to meet. This is Leila.”

Chris, Dallas and Jordan all smiled at me kindly as George pulled me a little bit further forwards. Like the idiot I was, all I could do was smile like an idiot and shake every hand in front of me.

“How’d you like the show?” Dallas asked me, leaning back with his tattooed elbows on the bar top.

“Loved it,” I smiled. “Best yet.”

“You’ve seen us before?” Jordan interjected.

I nodded. “Yep, twice. After Crisis and on the Eastpak tour.”

Dallas laughed. “You can make it...seventeen times by the end of this tour, right?”

I laughed and shrugged my shoulders. “I don’t work every night.”

“I wish my life was that easy,” Chris said, slumping his shoulders. It was a joke, I think. So I laughed anyway. He didn’t give me a strange look, so I suppose I was right in assuming it had been a joke.

“Leila!” I turned around again when somebody shouted my name.

“Yeah, Jack?” I asked as he bounced over to where I stood with George, Chris, Dallas and Jordan. Jack very nearly crashed into me again. He steadied himself and said hello to the four musicians behind me before addressing me.

“Just wondering,” Jack said, like a four year old. “Us – Alex, Zack, Rian and me – The Maine, Versa, Deaf Whatever and a couple others wanna go bar-hopping. Do you and some friends wanna come?”

“Jack,” I sighed. “I don’t know. I’m not really dressed for it and I’m tired.”

Jack pouted. “But that Zara chick’s coming! Borrow a shirt off her or something!”

“I hardly know her, I can’t borrow her clothes,” I laughed. I noticed that Dallas and company excused themselves, saying goodbye.

“Come on,” he pleaded. “Please!”

I rolled my eyes. “Fine. But only if I can find someone to come with me so I’m not an outcast.”

“Don’t you know like, all of Deaf Thingy? And those Eye Witness kids?”

“Shut it, Barakat, or I won’t come,” I smiled, patting the top of his head again like I had earlier on. I heard him grumble a complaint as I made my way back over to the throng of bands and co-workers. I searched around for Dimitri and spotted him having a conversation with Sierra Kusterbeck of VersaEmerge.

“Hey, Dimitri,” I said. “I’ve been bullied into bar-hopping, would you like to come with?”

“I’ve already been asked,” he laughed. “Meet my inviter, Sierra.”

I smiled and shook her hand, saying it was nice to meet her before I turned back to Dimitri. “I hate going to places in my work shirt.”

“Excuse me,” Sierra piped up. “I could let you borrow something of mine? Unless that’s too weird, then it’s totally understandable.”

I was going to tell her thanks but it was alright, but Dimitri cut me off. “She’d appreciate that!”

Sierra gave me a radiant smile, which I returned to the best of my ability, before I shot daggers at Dimitri while she wasn’t looking. She told me to follow her out to the vans, and led me to a decent sized one with the words “VersaEmerge” scrawled on the side in neon green Sharpie ink. I shivered slightly against the cold night as Sierra clambered around inside her bands allocated van.

She emerged a couple of minutes later – she’d changed out of her sweaty Hey Monday t-shirt that she’d worn on stage – with a gorgeous, boho style floaty top in her right hand. She told me to get into the van and change my shirt. Once I came back out, she fixed pieces of my hair to the back of my head with a few bobby pins before we made our way back inside.

“Hey,” I said to Georgia, having approached her as I saw Zara walk away. “Feels like I haven’t seen you in days.”

She smiled. “I know; it’s this whole work thing. I think we both have the night off tomorrow, though.”

“Girls night?” I asked.

Georgia nodded. “Definitely, it’ll be great. Nice shirt, too.”

“Oh, it’s Sierra’s,” I rolled my eyes. “Forced to go bar-hopping by Jack Barakat.”

Georgia laughed. “Happens all the time.”

“Definitely,” I smiled. “Aren’t you coming?”

She shook her head. “I’m tired, and I want to talk to Jake now, I haven’t all night.”

I nodded my head and pointed over to where he was standing. “Go for it.”

She gave me a snide little look before making her way to where Jake stood, his sleeping daughter cradled into his side.

*****

“We’ve already established this!” Dimitri shouted over the chatter and the music. “You cannot hold alcohol! At least, not when I’m around.”

I just rolled my eyes and shoved him lightly, almost losing my footing. He was right of course, I was basically drunk. Only because people kept buying me drinks and challenging me to games. Sierra was as bad as me, since we both accepted Jack’s shot challenge. One word; stupid.

The bar we were at was completely packed, mostly of people from Flux. After we left the venue, I discovered that it was more than ‘a couple others’ that were coming with. We had All Time Low, The Maine, Versa, Deaf Havana, Eye Witness – minus Jake – Architects, Gallows and The Blackout; that I knew of, at least.

The bar was a nice one; all neon lights, black marble, gauze curtains and white leather couches. The majority of the couches were taken up by our bands. I was seated on one with Dimitri, James, Ryan, Lee, Tom, Johnny, Sierra, Sam Carter, Sean Smith, Zara and Dean...I hadn’t noticed him before.

So far, Sierra and I had made complete idiots out of ourselves for dancing with some of the strangers in the place and drinking profusely. I didn’t see the point in staying sober if I had the day and night off the next day, so I kept drinking when I fancied.

I slumped back into the white leather slightly, concentrating on crossing my right leg over my left without kicking anybody. Dimitri was talking across the table to Johnny and Sean, having some kind of debate about something or other. I didn’t care enough to pay attention. I glanced around the group and smiled to myself, until I came to Dean. He was leaning back in the leather chair, his arm slung around the back of Zara’s seat. To make it worse, I caught him looking at me.

Because of my new found guts – the ones alcohol helped me find – I held his gaze, my eyebrows raised very pointedly at him. He smirked at me, his blue eyes glazed over and the rest of his features sharpened by the lighting of the bar. Eventually, I looked away from him to take a couple more sips of my drink. I was glad there was someone between me and him. I think it was Sam...

“Leila, you alright chick?” James said, leaning across Dimitri to look at me.

“I’m great, thanks, James,” I smiled at him like an imbecile. I didn’t even care though, that’s the good side of it. I pretty much stayed out of the conversation for the most part, only throwing in a ‘me too!’ every now and again when someone made a point.

“Alright!” Sam said, clapping his hands together. “Who’s up for a shot contest?”

Basically everybody put their hands up and whooped in agreement. Except for me and Dean. I realised that I should’ve stopped drinking a couple of hours ago, so I was going to stop before bad things happened, like they always seem to do when I’m drunk. Everybody stood and made their way to the bar – Sierra only left after a long time of me telling her I felt ill.

“So,” Dean spoke up, moving along the seat to where Sam had been situated beside me.

I rolled my eyes and turned my entire body away from him. “What?”

I felt the skin of his arm touch my shoulder and felt my stomach lurch like I was going to vomit everywhere. I jiggled my foot along with the song playing – Tiesto, I think – and waited for him to say something or leave. Hopefully, the latter.

“It’s weird seeing you again.”

“No shit,” I said, glancing sideways at him.

He laughed at me. “Come on, stop being like that and talk to me.”

I turned my head to look at him. “Because I don’t have a right to be, is that it?”

“Fucking hell, I’m trying to fucking talk to a girl I haven’t seen in years,” he exhaled heavily. “Who thought you’d hold a stupid grudge for six years!”

I shook my head and scoffed, feeling my face heat up some. “Dean, go and fuck yourself. You’re nothing but a pain in my fucking backside.”

I was standing up to leave him sitting alone, but he grabbed my wrist and pulled me back into my seat, sending shockwaves all over my skin whenever he touched me. “I don’t care what you say, I know you missed me.”

*****

I know you missed me. I know you missed me?! What the fuck was that supposed to mean? Who was he to say something like that to me? Nobody, that’s who.

I threw his hand off of my wrist and stood up, managing to keep my balance. It didn’t matter how old we’d gotten, he still pissed me off to no end, sometimes. I wandered away from him towards the packed bar. I found James and stood beside him, ordering myself a drink before I turned to him.

“Alright?” he asked, holding onto the bar for support.

“I’m fine, what about you?”

He just laughed. “Well, I’m a bit fucked.”

“Just a bit?”

He actually looked like he was thinking about it. “Yep.”

“Where’s Lee and everyone?” I asked, picking my drink up after the bartender slid it down to me. James just shrugged his shoulders and almost fell flat on his face. That is, before he started talking to a couple of girls standing the opposite side of him. I was left to wander again.

I think I walked around the entire bar about four times before I actually saw anybody I knew. At first, I thought everybody had left to go to a different place without trying to find me first, but I spotted Jack, Alex Gaskarth, Dimitri and Architects sitting back where we were earlier on. Dean wasn’t around this time, so I went over there and plopped down in between Dimitri and Alex.

“You alright, chick?” Dimitri raised his voice over the music.

“I’m far too drunk,” I shouted into his ear. “And I hate Dean.”

Dimitri laughed at me. “Do I have to hit him with my man-bag?”

Alex overheard and spat beer everywhere. He wouldn’t stop saying ‘man, that was classic’ until I elbowed him in the stomach and almost caused him to spit his beer everywhere again. Once he’d lost interest in our conversation, I told Dimitri about the whole conversation between Dean and I.

“It sounds to me,” Dimitri said, pretending to stroke an imaginary beard. “That he was trying to be nice.”

“Shut up,” I grumbled, rolling my eyes. “I don’t have to be nice back.”

“You know, if you were this feisty all the time, I might just be straight.”

I raised my eyebrows. “Okay, literally the most disturbing thing you ever said...apart from when you said you’d like my boyfriend to spank you.”

“Okay, talking time over,” Dimitri laughed, a huge smile splitting his face. “Dancing time now.”

Alex and Jack jumped out of their seats and basically ran towards the dance floor, before they started grinding up against each other. I nearly died, I was laughing so hard I couldn’t breathe. Dimitri just sighed and shook his head, standing up and dragging me after him. Eventually, we got Sam up to dance, after much pleading from me. I don’t even know why I cared if he’d dance with us, I hardly talked to him until tonight.

Alex and Jack were still dancing with each other when we went over to them. Sam ended up dancing really close to some random girl. I just danced clumsily with Dimitri, having him step on my feet every couple of seconds. He almost had a heart attack when Lady Gaga came on from the DJ booth. I laughed and stopped dancing, feeling more tired.

I looked around, trying to spot some familiar faces, but I failed miserably. The only people left that I knew here were Dimitri, Jack and Alex. Sam and the girl had both disappeared somewhere I’m glad I wasn’t.

Oh, correction, there were two more people I knew here.

Dean was leaning against the wall near the bar, speaking to Zara. I knew it was her because of her blonde hair, reflecting the light coming from behind the bar. I noticed that her hand was placed on Dean’s chest and he was smirking down at her.

“Leilo,” Jack whined behind me, tugging at my arm.

“Leila, Jack. Leila,” I said, emphasising. He rolled his eyes and pushed me away from him.

“You’re mean.” He walked away, back to Alex.

I just raised my eyebrows at Dimitri, who wasn’t even looking at me. He was busy talking to some skinny guy with blonde hair. For a reason unknown to even myself, I thought I’d look at Dean again. Maybe he was right; maybe I’d missed him.

No, I didn’t miss him.

When I looked back over, he and Zara were quite noticeably closer this time. By ‘noticeably closer’, I mean attached at the mouth and hands. Oh god, then they started manoeuvring their way towards the bathrooms.

Even if I felt disgusted, I also felt the little hole in my stomach reappear. I felt really sick, really lightheaded and really fucking ready to go home and forget all about tonight.

“Come on,” Dimitri said. “I’ll get us home.”