Right Now, I'm Anyone's

I groaned heavily and rolled onto my back in bed. I hadn’t slept that night, not one little bit. It was the early hours of the morning when I woke myself up with a loud cough; it felt like it ripped my throat up as it came. I didn’t bother trying to sleep after that, and just lay in bed and thought for a little bit.

Ultimately, things had changed drastically in less than seventy-two hours. I turned twenty-two, had my boyfriend of nine months propose to me – and we didn’t even live together yet – and saw an old acquaintance, proceeding to get to know him better than I ever had, along with discovering that he had a little girl. The reunion with Johnny, too, can’t forget that. Then I thought of his brother who, incidentally, broke my heart six years ago.

I got up out of my bed and went to my wardrobe. Maybe it was still in there. I rummaged through the racks, the drawers, before fumbling around through the bottom of the wardrobe, in search of one thing. Ten minutes later, I sat back on my haunches, holding a yellow hoody, paled and torn with age and neglect.

I hadn’t thought of its previous owner in so long, but seeing Johnny brought that entire part of my life back to the front of my mind. It didn’t hurt anymore, that was the best part of the whole thing. What Dean did to me, all those years ago, had no power over the person I had become. All the same, I slipped on his battered old yellow hoody and climbed back into bed, just as somebody tapped on my bedroom door.

“You awake yet, princess?” Dimitri said through the door. I called that he could come inside, but regretted it as it felt like my throat was on fire. He came inside and lay down on my bed beside me, fully dressed, ready for his day at work.

“I heard you coughing all night,” he said, quietly. “If you looked as bad as you sound, I’d be severely worried for your health.”

“Thanks,” I grumbled.

“You can’t go to work today, Leila.”

“I’m fine,” I insisted. “I’ll go to work.”

“No, you’re ringing John Arsey MacArseface, telling him you’re too ill and staying at home.” He paused and held up his hand to stop my retaliation. “If you don’t comply, I will ring Levi and get him to spank you into conformance.”

“Dimitri.” I rolled my eyes. “For one, I can’t afford to miss work. For two, Levi would sooner spank you than me.”

Dimitri just wiggled his eyebrows suggestively. “Wouldn’t say no. Anyway, yeah, you can. You’re entitled to a little something called paid holidays.”

“I can’t win, can I?” I said, folding my arms over my face.

“No,” he smiled. “Georgia’s already in my car and waiting, you wouldn’t be ready in time anyway.”

I parted my arms and glared at him. He laughed and said, “Come on, let’s get you all comfy on the couch with some tea and you can watch telly all day.”

I love Dimitri.

*****

I vaguely remember saying goodbye to Georgia and Dimitri as they left for work, before I just collapsed onto the couch with my duvet around me and fell asleep; completely ignoring the cup of tea Dimitri had left on the coffee table for me. I was just so tired, after not sleeping all night because I kept waking myself up.

I also remember dreaming; or at least fragments of a dream. It felt like it had happened before, but I knew it hadn’t. I was in a field, sitting alone near a huge apple tree, surrounding by delicate spring flowers that I couldn’t place a name to. It reminded me slightly of a place I went to once, when Caroline – my mother – Mark – my father – and I had taken a trip up to Scotland. When they were still together. Before going on a picnic in a beautiful little field, Mark took Caroline and I to an old castle, which was far too dangerous to explore properly, and then to a massive waterfall.

But I was most definitely alone in my dream. It was in the first-person and I caught a glimpse of another person with me just at the end but they weren’t still long enough for me to establish an identity. Just as they slowed down, about to sit opposite me in this beautiful field, I felt my arm vibrate, as weird as that sounds.

Waking groggily from that dream, I reached around for my phone. I only just noticed My Wife And Kids on the television, but I didn’t care enough to turn it off or something. I felt my arm brush against my phone and heard the thud it made when it hit the floor. I scrabbled around to answer it before it stopped ringing.

“Hello?” I answered.

“Leila? It’s Johnny.” I smiled.

“Oh, hi. You okay?”

“Yeah,” he laughed. “Just hanging about with some of the other bands. Apparently I’m not allowed to tell you who’s here, though.”

“Maddox?”

“Yep.” He laughed again. “Where are you anyway? I was thinking we could catch up for a bit.”

“I’m not at work, Johnny,” I sighed. “Dimitri forced me to stay home sick.”

“Dimitri?”

“Roommate, basically the bloody queen bee of this place,” I said, letting my head fall back onto the arm of the couch.

“Okay,” he said, dragging out the ‘o’. “You do sound kind of sick actually.”

“What are you insinuating?”

“Nothing,” he laughed. “You’re still mental.”

“Shush,” I smiled. My phone vibrated against my ear, signalling a new text message. “I’ll have you ring you back later, Johnny.”

“Okay,” he said. “How about we go for a few drinks tomorrow? If you’re feeling better, of course.”

“I’d love to,” I smiled. Johnny told me he’d text me tomorrow to let me know what time and where. I slid my phone shut, only to open it again and check the message I received while on the phone to my old best friend.

From: Levi Richards
Time: 2:36PM

Hey, babe. Dimitri told me you were sick. Want me to come over? – Levi xxx

I smiled as I read the text message my boyfriend just sent me. I pressed the reply button.

To: Levi Richards
Time:2:39PM

If you aren’t too busy, that’d be nice :) – L x

I pressed send, before untangling myself from my duvet and getting up off of the couch. My throat didn’t feel as bad as this morning, but I was still coughing a bit and my body was protesting against moving. I made my way to the shelf, containing mine, Georgia’s and Dimitri’s joint DVD collection. My contributions varied from comedy to horror, Georgia’s were mostly science-fiction or mystery, and Dimitri's tended to be sexy, foreign films with unusually gorgeous actors – or Audrey Tautou.

After a good five minutes, I decided on Pineapple Express, just because Seth Rogen cracked me up to no end. Just as I sat back down on the couch and got myself comfortable, there were three long knocks on the front door.

I heaved myself up, pulling the yellow hoody tighter around me and looking through the peephole in the door. Levi was standing on my doormat waiting, with a bunch of red roses in his hand. My heart melted and I opened the front door.

“Hiya, love,” he smiled, leaning forward to kiss me.

I stopped him. “No kissing the sicky.”

He just laughed and rolled his eyes. He smiled and handed me the flowers, stepping inside and closing the door behind him. He unfurled his old patchwork scarf from his neck and took off his light grey coat, hanging it up on the pegs near the door as I went to put the roses in a vase.

I sat beside Levi on the couch, leaning my head against his shoulder. I felt him put his arm around my shoulders, so I spread out more. He was stroking my arm very lightly through the hoody, which he only just seemed to notice I’d been wearing.

“Is this new?” he asked, plucking at the sleeve while his eyes remained on the television.

“No,” I said. “Does it look new?”

“Not really.” He laughed. “Where’d you get it?”

I bit my lip. “I can’t remember, I just found it earlier and couldn’t be bothered looking for anything else.”

He just laughed and carried on stroking my arm, slowing moving his hand around to my back. Before I knew it, I was yawning heavily and leaning entirely on Levi. My eyes were drooping, every muscle in my body ached for more sleep, despite the large amount I’d already had.

I sighed contently and yawned a last time before I fell asleep in Levi’s arms.