Forbidden Sins

Audra couldn't come up with a single thing to say to him the whole way home. She hadn't wanted it to come to that, she hadn't wanted to kill the other vampire, but Duncan hadn't given her a choice. Killing a vampire was an entirely different situation than killing a human. Killing humans was what was expected-- nobody cared if her body count was high, she could kill as many humans as she wanted and do whatever she pleased before she did. Killing a vampire was a serious offense, one that could get her in all kinds of trouble. She hadn't thought about that when she killed the other vampire; she was thinking of the safety of Fin and Lauren as well as Duncan. There had been no time for thought, and even if there had been, she would have made the same choice.

When they got home, she assumed that he would be going to bed, and she just...she needed to sleep. Even though she knew she would be laying awake and tossing and turning, she wanted to lie there and hide under the covers. His words made her heart skip a beat as she turned around to look at him, but it quickly sank in disappointment when he said nothing. She had hoped he would say something, even just the conversation would distract her from her own thoughts, but instead she left him to fiddle with the sink and climbed under her bed covers.

She pulled the blankets up over her head and lay in the dark, listening to Lauren clank around with the sink. She would have told him to shut up, but hearing the sound of somebody else moving around in the house was comforting. It made her feel less alone. She didn't drift off into sleep until long after Lauren had stopped banging around.

It wasn't more than an hour before she was ripped from her sleep with a vivid nightmare, one that nearly had her crying out. When she woke, tears streaked down her cheeks and it took her a moment or two to remember where she was and swallow the scream that was clawing up her throat. Home. She was home.

She didn't want to go back to sleep. Not by herself. She hated it enough as it was, she didn't want to fall back into the nightmare. She hadn't had one that scary for a long time. She slipped out of bed and padded to the door, peeking around the frame. She could see Lauren asleep on the couch, the blankets pulled up over him. She could hear his soft breathing heavily, steadily. She crept over, quiet as can be on the floor in her bare feet. She crouched in front of him and hesitated for a moment, feeling rather foolish. She was the vampire, she was strong and quick and she didn't need to be coddled--but she wanted him to hold her. She didn't want to be alone, didn't want to sleep alone.

Audra brushed her fingers through his hair softly, laying her head on her knees. "Lauren..? Lauren, wake up." She whispered, voice thick. Her eyes were flooded with tears, and she hated it. She hated crying, it was so useless. She brushed them away with the back of her hand. She just wanted him to wake up. Still teary, she stroked her fingers through his hair till he woke up a little, blinking at her with bleary eyes.

She didn't wait for him to ask. She felt embarrassed now, kind of stupid for wanting him to comfort her so badly for something she should have just handled herself. She looked away at the ground, blinking back the liquid. "I...had a nightmare. About what I did. To the other vampire." Speaking to him had never been so hard. Audra had never had such a hard time stringing a sentence together. She couldn't even bring herself to look at him. She hated to feel childish.