Falling to Pieces

“I love you Liza.” I told her one night, stroking her soft caramel hair. She looked at me and nodded and was soon asleep.

I couldn’t help but to feel like something was wrong. I knew I wasn’t always here for her, and thought maybe that was what she was having a problem with. But I had a hunch, I felt as if soon she was going to wake up and leave.

I watched her sleep, she was definitely the most beautiful girl I had ever seen. She slept peacefully, and left me to stay awake; worrying.

-------------------------------------

“Think about what you are doing.” I said to her, grabbing her arm.

“Good bye Stephen.” She told me, grabbing her last suitcase and walking out our front door.

“Liza..” I said, stumbling towards her. She turned and looked at me and I was hit with the memory of when she told me we were over.

“Liza, what’s wrong?” I asked once we were in our apartment.

“We’re over.” she whispered, looking at the ground near my feet. I stood there frozen, not wanting to believe the words she had just said.

“What?” I finally got out, looking at her. The rim of my eyes were burning, this couldn’t be happening.

“I found someone else, someone who is going to put me first. Someone who isn’t more dedicated to something else.” she said, finally looking at me.

Her brown eyes bore into mine, and I felt my body tense.

“Liz, I can change-”

“Stephen, you’ve been saying that for the past year. It hasn’t happened, were over.” she said, looking over her right shoulder.

I didn’t say anything for what seemed to be a long time. She had moved into the bedroom, probably getting some things together. I walked towards the room and heard shuffling.

“How long have you been seeing this guy?” I said softly, leaning on the door frame. I needed to keep calm.

“A little over three months. Stephen, I would have told you sooner…” she trailed off, stopping what she was doing.

“But you weren’t sure of this guy. You wanted to make sure that he was ‘the one’.” I said, my body shaking.

She confirmed my answer by looking down at her hands. I felt my heart break. This was the worst feeling ever.

“Stephen, good luck. Really, you guys are going to make it big. Goodbye.” she said, then shut the door behind her, and left me standing there, tears coming from my eyes.

-------------------------------------

“Stephen, come on. You need to go out, you need to get more cheery before we go on the road in three days.” my brother John said, sitting on the couch next to me.

I just kept looking down. I did need to get out. I felt like I got the time while she got the freedom.

“Okay.” I told him, standing up.

“Stephen, it was for the better, you need someone who understands what you do.” John said quietly, looking up at me from the couch.

I just looked away from him. This is what people were telling me for the past two weeks. I was starting to believe it, but not fully. Liza was a part of me, and to have that ripped away from you like that…takes its toll.

“Where are we going?” I asked, slipping on my shoes.

“Applebee’s. I’ll buy you anything you want. It’ll be a brother date.” He said, hopping off the couch, a smile plastered across his lips.

“Okay.” I said, smiling as well. My brother knew how to make me feel better.

We drove to Applebee’s and I sighed. This was nice. I did need to get out.

“Is anyone meeting us here?” I asked John, he shook his head.

“Jess had something going on, Brian is with Chelsea, and Josh’s whereabouts are unknown…” John said, opening the door. The smell of food hit me and my stomach growled.

“I want soup.” I told John as the hostess dame up and took us to our table.

“You get soup. I could go for a nice salad…” he said, sticking his face in a menu.

I sat there, waiting for John to make a decision. The waitress had come and gone three times, and he was still stuck on his decision: Country Salad or something to do with beans.

“Come on John.” I complained, looking at him.

“Okay fine. The salad it is.” he said, putting down his menu. The waitress came up a fourth time and smiled as she took Johns order.

“Oh Carter, come on.” I heard a girl laugh. This was odd, it was fairly loud over the commotion of the restaurant. I looked around and then spotted Liza a few tables back. She was with a guy that looked older than me. And she was smiling.

“We can go…” John said, interrupting my thoughts. I looked back to him and he was starring over my shoulder.

“No, I’m fine.” I said, smiling. Inside I was falling apart, but that would be there for a while. I decided to cover that up.

“Stephen-”

“John, its over. I cant do anything now. It was for the best, for both of us.” I said, looking at napkin in my lap.

He just sat there looking at me. But then gave up and resulted back to his phone.

“Here you guys go.” our waitress said a while later, placing our food in front of us. I decided to try and get my brother talking. That would distract both of us.

“I don’t know how I feel about Lady Gaga, I mean…her music is good…its just, I don’t know, she s crazy….” he was saying, while I was watching Liza leave. I was glad she didn’t notice me. It would have made this a lot harder.

I guess deep down I was happy for her. But what about me? When was I going to be happy again?

“….She had blood poured on her! Who does that on television?” John finished.

I just starred at my brother, laughing. This was the start of something new. The start of me being happy.