Lima Loser.

“The school dance has been cancelled for some reason or other,” Mr. Schuester stated. It was the next day during Glee rehearsal, and he was telling us about how the dance was cancelled. He wasn’t sure of the reason, but it was being postponed for a few weeks.

“So, are we just going to practice our songs until it reschedules?” Mike wondered.

“Not exactly,” Mr. Schue explained. “We’re going to spend this week doing something totally new.”

“Like what?” Finn asked.

“Here’s the dealio, guys. I’m putting you in groups. You’re basically going to take a song beat of your choice, and make up new lyrics to it. And your remake is going to be sung to a group of your choice.”

The room was filled with ooh’s and ahh’s.

“Here are the rules,” Schue brought us back to reality. “Your remix has to be entirely appropriate and clean, and dissing is not allowed. At the end of the week, your group will get to perform your remix to the group you choose to perform it to.”

“That sounds super fun, Mr. Schue!” Rachel smiled. “I have a question, though.”

“Yes?” Mr. Schuester looked at her.

“You said no dissing, but wouldn’t we be dissing the song if we remade it?” she asked.

“No, Rachel. People do this all the time,” he replied.

“Exactly,” Puck told her. “You should see the stack of hate songs I re-wrote, dedicated to you.”

“You write songs about me?” she gushed, showing him how weird he sounded. “That’s so sweet, Noah.”

He rolled his eyes, and continued. “So, did you already pick our groups, or can we just pick our own?”

“No, no, no. That’s way too easy,” Schue chuckled. “I want you all to line up by the wall.”

We did as we were told. Mr. Schue scribbled a few things down on a piece of paper that was on top of the piano, and glanced at each one of us.

“Group one: Tina, Finn, Mike and Brittany. Over here.” Mr. Schuester pointed to a place in the room where they were to go.

“Group two: Kurt, Artie, and Santana.”

“Yay, I get the cripple and the faggot,” Santana muttered under her breath. She was right next to me, and I was the only one that heard her. She walked over to where Mr. Schue instructed them to go, a sour look spreading her face. I kind of wanted to punch her.

“Group three: Rachel, Courtney, Puck.”

I was pretty stoked to have those two in the group with me, especially Puck. I didn’t know why, but there was something about him that I really, really liked. Mr. Schuester pointed to the back of the room, and we all headed over there.

“Group four: Quinn, Matt, Mercedes.”

Those three headed to their designated area, and our groups were chosen.

“So, any ideas?” Puck asked when we were all together.

“Yes, I have one!” Rachel began.

“Brace yourself,” I laughed.

“Rachel, we’re not doing your bullshit Broadway crap,” Puck rolled his eyes.

“Mr. Schuester,” Rachel raised her hand. He looked over. “I don’t think I can work in this group.”

“Rachel,” he argued. “Not everyone is a fan of show tunes.”

“That’s not why. I just don’t like Puck.” Whoa, brutally honest.

“Not fond of you either, you annoying-” Puck began, but I cut him off.

“Mr. Schuester, don’t worry,” I told him. “We’ll work things out.”

“You sure?” he eyed our group, sceptically. “Maybe it was stupid of me to put you guys together.”

“No, no, no. We need to get along with each other,” I explained. “Don’t worry about it.”

He nodded and turned back to the group he was working on, while I glared at my two group members. “Pull it together, okay? I know you pretty much hate each other, but just…get along…for me?”

“Fine,” they both agreed, with some complaining.

“So, what song should we do, and which group should we sing it to?” Puck asked right away.

“I vote we sing ‘I Will Always Love You’ to Finn’s group,” Rachel gushed. She didn’t mind admitting how much she obsessed over Finn, even though his best friend was standing right next to her.

“How about no,” Puck frowned. “Plus, we have to rearrange the lyrics, not sing the actual song.”

We thought about it for a bit, and still didn’t come up with anything. When the bell rang, I promised them both that I would find something that night. They knew that I was good at that kind of stuff, so they just went along with it.

I left the music room and headed to my locker. On my way there, I got stopped by…guess who? Quinn Fabray.

“Finn and I are back together,” she smirked.

“Doesn’t surprise me,” I rolled my eyes.

“Yeah, me neither,” she agreed. “Anyone who’d choose you over me is just pathetic.”

“I know, right? I can’t think of anyone who would choose a Lima loser over the biggest bitch in the school,” I shrugged.

“Very funny,” she glared at me. “Anyway, Finn’s my boyfriend again, and I think you know what that means.”

“Yeah, I got it…” I muttered, and turned around. I didn’t want to listen to her bullshit any longer.

“I’m not done,” she snapped.

“Well, I am,” I nodded.

“No, you’re not. I have to tell you the rules.”

“Rules!?” I burst out into hysterical laughter. “Are you fucking serious?”

“Oh, I’m definitely serious,” she gave me a ‘no bullshit’ look. “So, here’s the deal, Blondie. Don’t talk to my boyfriend, don’t look at my boyfriend, and don’t even think about him. Got it?”

“That’s extremely hard to do when he’s in my classes and in Glee club with me. What if we get paired up for a project or duet or something?”

“That’s the only exception. Besides that, don’t even try to talk to him. I don’t think it’ll be a problem anyway, considering he doesn’t even like you,” she told me.

“Okay, boss,” I rolled my eyes. “I’ve gotta get to class, so seeya later.”

I went to Spanish, and took a seat near the front. While everybody else was listening to Schue’s lecturing and note reading, guess what I was doing? I was writing the hit song we were told to remake. And it was directed to the head Cheerio, Bitch Fabray.