The Lost
Anna
“Are you ever satisfied?” I demanded. “Will it ever be enough?”
Cold eyes turned on me and I felt my heart leap into my throat. I shouldn’t have said anything. I knew that, but I hadn’t been able to stop the words from coming out of my mouth. My mouth clamped shut as a thrill of fear ran through me. I looked down praying her would ignore me again. I was a coward. I knew it with every fiber of my being. It took me a moment to realize that it had planted the thought. I clapped my hands to my head. “Get out!” I screamed. “Get out! Get out! Get out of my head!”
A soft chuckle. The thought retreated.
I shivered. The feeling of its departure was like a worm leaving a trail of slim in its wake. I felt dirty all over. How long had I been like this? How long had I been in this state? I had lost count of the days so long ago that for all I knew, it could have been a year. It could have been as little as a single day. I couldn’t tell. Time seemed to lose all meaning in this place. Where was I anyway? Sometimes it seemed like we were in a city and sometimes it seemed like we were out in the middle of nowhere. I was never quite certain and I knew that that was what he wanted. Or was it a he? Sometimes I wondered so I usually settled for it or the thing.
“Are you ever going to talk?” I asked afraid of the answer. I needed to hear something though only having the sound of my voice as company much longer was going to drive me crazy. I wonder if it knew that. Maybe it did and that was part of the reason it was doing all of this to me. I didn’t know why I was there. Why was I the only one of us who hadn’t been physically harmed? Mentally, I was a wreck. I wasn’t ever going to be okay from this. You didn’t recover from seeing your friends brutally murdered in cold blood in a slow methodical manner. Most label it PSTD. I would call it a mental breakdown, survivor’s guilt, hate, rage. Anything but something so simple. That was if I did survive. I didn’t have that guarantee. It could just be saving me for last, relishing and feeding on my hunger and pain until it grew bored. In some ways, I wouldn’t have minded that at all. I wanted this nightmare to end.
“Are you ever satisfied?” a voice echoed in my head. A vision of my friend Jeanine swept before my eyes. She was demanding the question, the answer to that question.
“Honey what are you talking about?” I asked confused.
She lifted up her wrists. They were slit along the veins and covered in blood. I clapped a hand over my mouth to keep from being sick. “Wasn’t Wade enough? Why did you have to take John? Wasn’t he enough? Why couldn’t you let me be happy?”
Horror filled me as I remembered sleeping with John on his birthday. “No Jeanine! Don’t do this! I’m sorry! I’m so sorry! I was wrong! I don’t know what I was thinking.”
The vision vanished and I felt myself collapse, falling to the floor, sides heaving. The cold eyes regarded me, head cocked to the side watching me in my agony. It KNEW whatever this thing was that could slip inside my mind. It KNEW. It knew what I had done. Was this what everything was about? Was this why everything was happening? The thought made me want to die. Had I caused my friends’ misery and pain? Was it my fault that all this was happening.
“Are you ever satisfied?”
My head whipped around to see my twin brother Isaac regarding me with bloody pits where his eyes had once been. I couldn’t stop staring at them. What had happened to his beautiful blue eyes? “Wasn’t it enough that mom and dad loved you best?” he demanded. “Why did you have to do this to me sis? I was there for you. Why did you do this to me?” he moaned.
“I didn’t do it!” I screamed. “I didn’t do it!”
I closed my eyes tight and pressed my hands over my ears rocking back and forth praying for it to all go away.
- - - - - - - - -
The doctor and the set of students with him watched the miserable patient from the other side of a one-way panel of glass. “How long has she been screaming?” one of the younger students asked.
The doctor looked at the nurse who checked his watch. “About ten minutes this time,” he said with a shrug.
“As far as anyone can tell Anna Kramnick was a normal teenage girl until a few months ago when she had a psychotic breakdown and killed her brother, Isaac Kramnick, her boyfriend, Wade Howard, her boyfriend’s brother, John Howard, and her best friend, Jeanine Olsen. With her in this state, we’ll probably never know why.” The students all focused on the doctor, jotting everything he said down. One of the older students, a woman in her mid-forties, looked up and screamed.
Anna Kramnick stood on the other side of the one way glass, her head tilted to the side. She seemed to be staring at them. The doctor turned to his students with a forced smile on his face. “Nothing to worry about,” he assured them. “It’s one way glass after all. It’s not as if she even knows we’re here.”
“Tell me…” the soft voice of a young woman in her late teens whispered over the speaker. “Are you ever satisfied? Is it ever enough? Am I next?” Dead blue eyes seemed to stare at them as she lifted up her hand and placed it on the glass before it slowly fell back to her side, leaving a trail of blood behind it. “Can I kill you next? Then will you be satisfied?”
Cold eyes turned on me and I felt my heart leap into my throat. I shouldn’t have said anything. I knew that, but I hadn’t been able to stop the words from coming out of my mouth. My mouth clamped shut as a thrill of fear ran through me. I looked down praying her would ignore me again. I was a coward. I knew it with every fiber of my being. It took me a moment to realize that it had planted the thought. I clapped my hands to my head. “Get out!” I screamed. “Get out! Get out! Get out of my head!”
A soft chuckle. The thought retreated.
I shivered. The feeling of its departure was like a worm leaving a trail of slim in its wake. I felt dirty all over. How long had I been like this? How long had I been in this state? I had lost count of the days so long ago that for all I knew, it could have been a year. It could have been as little as a single day. I couldn’t tell. Time seemed to lose all meaning in this place. Where was I anyway? Sometimes it seemed like we were in a city and sometimes it seemed like we were out in the middle of nowhere. I was never quite certain and I knew that that was what he wanted. Or was it a he? Sometimes I wondered so I usually settled for it or the thing.
“Are you ever going to talk?” I asked afraid of the answer. I needed to hear something though only having the sound of my voice as company much longer was going to drive me crazy. I wonder if it knew that. Maybe it did and that was part of the reason it was doing all of this to me. I didn’t know why I was there. Why was I the only one of us who hadn’t been physically harmed? Mentally, I was a wreck. I wasn’t ever going to be okay from this. You didn’t recover from seeing your friends brutally murdered in cold blood in a slow methodical manner. Most label it PSTD. I would call it a mental breakdown, survivor’s guilt, hate, rage. Anything but something so simple. That was if I did survive. I didn’t have that guarantee. It could just be saving me for last, relishing and feeding on my hunger and pain until it grew bored. In some ways, I wouldn’t have minded that at all. I wanted this nightmare to end.
“Are you ever satisfied?” a voice echoed in my head. A vision of my friend Jeanine swept before my eyes. She was demanding the question, the answer to that question.
“Honey what are you talking about?” I asked confused.
She lifted up her wrists. They were slit along the veins and covered in blood. I clapped a hand over my mouth to keep from being sick. “Wasn’t Wade enough? Why did you have to take John? Wasn’t he enough? Why couldn’t you let me be happy?”
Horror filled me as I remembered sleeping with John on his birthday. “No Jeanine! Don’t do this! I’m sorry! I’m so sorry! I was wrong! I don’t know what I was thinking.”
The vision vanished and I felt myself collapse, falling to the floor, sides heaving. The cold eyes regarded me, head cocked to the side watching me in my agony. It KNEW whatever this thing was that could slip inside my mind. It KNEW. It knew what I had done. Was this what everything was about? Was this why everything was happening? The thought made me want to die. Had I caused my friends’ misery and pain? Was it my fault that all this was happening.
“Are you ever satisfied?”
My head whipped around to see my twin brother Isaac regarding me with bloody pits where his eyes had once been. I couldn’t stop staring at them. What had happened to his beautiful blue eyes? “Wasn’t it enough that mom and dad loved you best?” he demanded. “Why did you have to do this to me sis? I was there for you. Why did you do this to me?” he moaned.
“I didn’t do it!” I screamed. “I didn’t do it!”
I closed my eyes tight and pressed my hands over my ears rocking back and forth praying for it to all go away.
- - - - - - - - -
The doctor and the set of students with him watched the miserable patient from the other side of a one-way panel of glass. “How long has she been screaming?” one of the younger students asked.
The doctor looked at the nurse who checked his watch. “About ten minutes this time,” he said with a shrug.
“As far as anyone can tell Anna Kramnick was a normal teenage girl until a few months ago when she had a psychotic breakdown and killed her brother, Isaac Kramnick, her boyfriend, Wade Howard, her boyfriend’s brother, John Howard, and her best friend, Jeanine Olsen. With her in this state, we’ll probably never know why.” The students all focused on the doctor, jotting everything he said down. One of the older students, a woman in her mid-forties, looked up and screamed.
Anna Kramnick stood on the other side of the one way glass, her head tilted to the side. She seemed to be staring at them. The doctor turned to his students with a forced smile on his face. “Nothing to worry about,” he assured them. “It’s one way glass after all. It’s not as if she even knows we’re here.”
“Tell me…” the soft voice of a young woman in her late teens whispered over the speaker. “Are you ever satisfied? Is it ever enough? Am I next?” Dead blue eyes seemed to stare at them as she lifted up her hand and placed it on the glass before it slowly fell back to her side, leaving a trail of blood behind it. “Can I kill you next? Then will you be satisfied?”