Status: I'm taking my sweet time with this one. Updates will be random, but I hope I don't fail no one. Thanks for reading.
Haywire
"What is SEX?!" PART 2
Chapter 3
“ ‘What’s sex?’. I thought I was going to piss myself! Did you see Mother’s face? Classic...” Mark is clearly very proud.
“ I can sense a certain level of accomplishment and pride here. What was that all about? Mind you, I’m very proud of you! Being rude to Mother and all. But it’s you, you don’t do it like this! It’s always me! What’s wrong Marky m’boy?” I ask him as I plate some eggs on my plate. Oh crispy bacon! Score! I’ll have some of that too, thank you very much!
“ Nothing’s wrong. I just realised it’s more fun this way. You always get all the fun.” He says, spearing his eggs.
“ Meh, sure. When you want to talk about it, I’m here Mark. You know that don’t you bro? So what’s happening now? When are the movers getting here?” Damn. These eggs suck really bad. Mother said she was going to have to fire the cook, but that Elaine would cook. Don’t get me wrong, but Elaine isn’t the best cooks. Bless her, but I think Mother shouldn’t have her do this. She is so swamped with the Devil’s Spawn that I believe the woman is going to go cuckoo in the head really soon. I guess I’ll have to cook when we get to California. Sigh.
“ They’re suppose to be here already. Do you have everything packed?”
“Almost everything. I need to get ready and then I need to finish some small packing. When do we have to be in the airport?” Yes, we have to fly there. Mother says she isn’t travelling like a peasant. God that woman is stupid.
“ 2 p.m. Can I borrow your IPod? Mine’s charging.”
“Sure, just make sure you don’t finish it all of, or else we’re sharing yours in the plane.” I get up to get dressed and all, and Mark moves with me as we clean up the kitchen from breakfast.
“That’s fine sis. Hey, I broke up with Hannah this morning. I went there and she was home with Cliff.” Oh Mr. Crap, we have a problem.
“ She was cheating on you?!” I’m furious! No one cheats on my brother. Slag.
“ I guess. She wasn’t that good, so it’s not a big thing.” Gah, I swear that guy is too damn nice for his own good. We start climbing the stairs for the 1st floor, where our rooms are so I can get dressed
“ God bro. We’re getting you laid when we get to California. A little loving, you’ll be fine!” Great solution, don’t you agree?
“ Oh God! Ha ha! Your’ just like a man. Maybe Mother’s right. An ugly boy indeed... Ha ha!”
“Shut your mouth Mabel! I’m all woman! Want to see?! Muahahh.”
“NO! Keep it away! I love you, but I don’t want to see your bits sis. Thanks, but no thanks.” Prude. I open the door to my room and get my jeans and Misfits t-shirt. Plus some unmentionables. I move over to my bathroom and just before I close the door I see Mark on the bed with my IPod. I swear the guy has dogs, and electronics in bed. But a girl? A boy? Nop! Ha ha.
“You know that Father’s not even going to be there for a month. He’s going to London this month. I heard them talking about it yesterday evening.” I talk through the door whilst taking of my clothes and opening and starting the shower. Now where did I put that body wash? Where could it be....HA, found it! Score!
“I know. That’s just normal. I heard he’s taking Eric with him in this trip. I bet that Sam’s happy. Hey what’s my Mr. Bungle t-shirt doing in your box? Thief!”
“Eh, laundry accident? Yes, that’s it. Laundry accident. But you can leave it there, I have no problem in keeping it safe in my stuff. No problem at all darling!” Oops. He was NOT supposed to find that out. Oh well...
“Yeah sure. It’s mine. I don’t wear your stuff! Why do you keep getting mine from me?”
“ You don’t fit in mine! That’s why! Plus, I make them more beautiful.” I get out of the shower and start drying off. I put my underwear on and move on putting on the body lotion sitting in the toilet seat. Oh crap, my hair got wet in the ends. Shit. Oh well.
“Not an excuse. And WHAT THE HELL? You can’t make clothes look better, they make YOU look better. You got it the wrong way around!”
“Thanks bro. I knew you agreed with me. I look good after all eh! Ha ha!” I put my jeans on and start finger combing my hair into a somewhat neat messy bun. I put my t-shirt over it and start brushing my teeth and face. I finish and spray some perfume on my wrists and neck.
“You know what I meant stupid. Are you wearing this hoodie?” I can’t see it, but I think it’s the one I put on the bed.
“The one on the bed? Yes! Why?” Going fashion conscious on me dear brother?
“I’m wearing mine as well! That’s so wrong!” I secretly agree, but I really feel like going with it today.
“Hey we’re twins. It was bound to happen some time. Again. I really want to wear mine, can’t you change yours? I guess it’s no big deal if we go with the same one.” I say as I get out of the bathroom with my hands still trying to adjust the hair into a messy bun. I gave up trying to put it neatly. Just strap the monster in. God! Done!
“ Fine! You ready?”
“Nop, I need to get my shoes. Pass me my socks, they’re next to you head.” I said as I moved to sit on the bed with my green converse in my hands. Mark throws my socks at me and I start putting them on.
“You know, I think you are the only person who wears Christmas socks in the middle of August. You have problems child.” Hypocrite.
“ You wear Christmas boxers all year around, so what are you talking about!? I like these reindeers. They’re endearing. Right! Finished! Oh wait, let me get my belt, hold on.” I say as I put my belt on. I move to the corner of my bedroom, where my big suitcase is, plus my small carry on with my drawing book and stuff, and my cell. And bits and pieces. Woman’s bag. Hey, see? A woman after all. Exhibit A, thanks very much!
“Right! Lets go. Ah, so...we’ll have to share mine on the plane. The IPod, that it.”
“Mark!”
“ ‘What’s sex?’. I thought I was going to piss myself! Did you see Mother’s face? Classic...” Mark is clearly very proud.
“ I can sense a certain level of accomplishment and pride here. What was that all about? Mind you, I’m very proud of you! Being rude to Mother and all. But it’s you, you don’t do it like this! It’s always me! What’s wrong Marky m’boy?” I ask him as I plate some eggs on my plate. Oh crispy bacon! Score! I’ll have some of that too, thank you very much!
“ Nothing’s wrong. I just realised it’s more fun this way. You always get all the fun.” He says, spearing his eggs.
“ Meh, sure. When you want to talk about it, I’m here Mark. You know that don’t you bro? So what’s happening now? When are the movers getting here?” Damn. These eggs suck really bad. Mother said she was going to have to fire the cook, but that Elaine would cook. Don’t get me wrong, but Elaine isn’t the best cooks. Bless her, but I think Mother shouldn’t have her do this. She is so swamped with the Devil’s Spawn that I believe the woman is going to go cuckoo in the head really soon. I guess I’ll have to cook when we get to California. Sigh.
“ They’re suppose to be here already. Do you have everything packed?”
“Almost everything. I need to get ready and then I need to finish some small packing. When do we have to be in the airport?” Yes, we have to fly there. Mother says she isn’t travelling like a peasant. God that woman is stupid.
“ 2 p.m. Can I borrow your IPod? Mine’s charging.”
“Sure, just make sure you don’t finish it all of, or else we’re sharing yours in the plane.” I get up to get dressed and all, and Mark moves with me as we clean up the kitchen from breakfast.
“That’s fine sis. Hey, I broke up with Hannah this morning. I went there and she was home with Cliff.” Oh Mr. Crap, we have a problem.
“ She was cheating on you?!” I’m furious! No one cheats on my brother. Slag.
“ I guess. She wasn’t that good, so it’s not a big thing.” Gah, I swear that guy is too damn nice for his own good. We start climbing the stairs for the 1st floor, where our rooms are so I can get dressed
“ God bro. We’re getting you laid when we get to California. A little loving, you’ll be fine!” Great solution, don’t you agree?
“ Oh God! Ha ha! Your’ just like a man. Maybe Mother’s right. An ugly boy indeed... Ha ha!”
“Shut your mouth Mabel! I’m all woman! Want to see?! Muahahh.”
“NO! Keep it away! I love you, but I don’t want to see your bits sis. Thanks, but no thanks.” Prude. I open the door to my room and get my jeans and Misfits t-shirt. Plus some unmentionables. I move over to my bathroom and just before I close the door I see Mark on the bed with my IPod. I swear the guy has dogs, and electronics in bed. But a girl? A boy? Nop! Ha ha.
“You know that Father’s not even going to be there for a month. He’s going to London this month. I heard them talking about it yesterday evening.” I talk through the door whilst taking of my clothes and opening and starting the shower. Now where did I put that body wash? Where could it be....HA, found it! Score!
“I know. That’s just normal. I heard he’s taking Eric with him in this trip. I bet that Sam’s happy. Hey what’s my Mr. Bungle t-shirt doing in your box? Thief!”
“Eh, laundry accident? Yes, that’s it. Laundry accident. But you can leave it there, I have no problem in keeping it safe in my stuff. No problem at all darling!” Oops. He was NOT supposed to find that out. Oh well...
“Yeah sure. It’s mine. I don’t wear your stuff! Why do you keep getting mine from me?”
“ You don’t fit in mine! That’s why! Plus, I make them more beautiful.” I get out of the shower and start drying off. I put my underwear on and move on putting on the body lotion sitting in the toilet seat. Oh crap, my hair got wet in the ends. Shit. Oh well.
“Not an excuse. And WHAT THE HELL? You can’t make clothes look better, they make YOU look better. You got it the wrong way around!”
“Thanks bro. I knew you agreed with me. I look good after all eh! Ha ha!” I put my jeans on and start finger combing my hair into a somewhat neat messy bun. I put my t-shirt over it and start brushing my teeth and face. I finish and spray some perfume on my wrists and neck.
“You know what I meant stupid. Are you wearing this hoodie?” I can’t see it, but I think it’s the one I put on the bed.
“The one on the bed? Yes! Why?” Going fashion conscious on me dear brother?
“I’m wearing mine as well! That’s so wrong!” I secretly agree, but I really feel like going with it today.
“Hey we’re twins. It was bound to happen some time. Again. I really want to wear mine, can’t you change yours? I guess it’s no big deal if we go with the same one.” I say as I get out of the bathroom with my hands still trying to adjust the hair into a messy bun. I gave up trying to put it neatly. Just strap the monster in. God! Done!
“ Fine! You ready?”
“Nop, I need to get my shoes. Pass me my socks, they’re next to you head.” I said as I moved to sit on the bed with my green converse in my hands. Mark throws my socks at me and I start putting them on.
“You know, I think you are the only person who wears Christmas socks in the middle of August. You have problems child.” Hypocrite.
“ You wear Christmas boxers all year around, so what are you talking about!? I like these reindeers. They’re endearing. Right! Finished! Oh wait, let me get my belt, hold on.” I say as I put my belt on. I move to the corner of my bedroom, where my big suitcase is, plus my small carry on with my drawing book and stuff, and my cell. And bits and pieces. Woman’s bag. Hey, see? A woman after all. Exhibit A, thanks very much!
“Right! Lets go. Ah, so...we’ll have to share mine on the plane. The IPod, that it.”
“Mark!”
♠ ♠ ♠
PLEASE, please comment. Do you know how depressed someone can get after they publish a new story and has only one comment? Thanks for it by the way... I hope you enjoy this strange comedy world and sibling talk and what not....